03/10/2025
The thoughts we think, minute to minute, day to day, year by year hugely influence how life plays out.
True, things beyond our control happen and our only choice then is how we respond to them; but most of the time we ‘think’ ourselves into the feelings we have and the things we end up doing.
Our thoughts determine what we expect to happen, and what we expect powers what actually happens.
If we keep imagining the detail of something going badly, the odds are the experience won’t be good.
If we imagine success - expect success - then we are guiding ourselves, consciously and unconsciously, towards behaviours that achieve what we want.
The mistake we often make is to let our thoughts run riot, perhaps believing that we have no control over them, or that they are just 'chatter'.
Thoughts that are allowed to run out of control, especially repetitive thoughts, can firmly establish themselves as beliefs, even if we don’t want to hold those beliefs and find them unhelpful.
We can be yearning for something we want, for example, whilst simultaneously and frequently running the thought ‘It’ll never happen’, ‘I never seem to get what I want.’ Or, 'I don't deserve it.'
When you understand and accept how powerful your thoughts are and begin to watch them more closely, you’ll find that you can use your thought-activity to shape your life more effectively.
If you slow down for a moment and look inwards you’ll find you can observe your thoughts as they arise. Or you might be able to look back and notice any repetitive thoughts you have.
Maybe you can see how many of your thoughts are positive and how many negative.
You might also notice that you have an ‘inner talk’ of thoughts that are hardly articulated, but are running in the background like subtle computer programmes on repeating cycles.
Once you get used to being the observer of your thoughts, instead of being totally immersed in them, you can exercise more choice over what to think; you can deliberately think helpful thoughts.
A good time to do this is at the beginning of the day. Quietly audit your thoughts:
What are you thinking in relation to yourself? Is it helpful? What would be a better thought/set of thoughts?
What are you thinking about your relationships with family/colleagues/friends? Is it helpful?
How do you feel about your plan for the day? Are you imagining it going well, or are you dreading it, or bored by it?
If the thoughts you discover lead to negative feelings, lack of optimism or confidence, fear or boredom, for example, then they set the course for your day and ultimately for the future.
But if you can ask yourself:
‘What would be a better thought’?
Or, ‘How can I envision this differently’?
Or, ‘Is there another description or story for what I am thinking that will make me feel and act better?’
then you are beginning to develop the skill of actively harnessing your thoughts to build the experience of life that you want.
Like all skills it takes practice, but you’ll notice it also rapidly delivers results.
When you get going, you might find that practices like meditation and journaling can help you get used to being the ‘observer of your thoughts’.
More about those another time.
Happy thinking!
