Nurture Parenting

25/12/2025

mirimika_art 💜🥹
1. The first thing he noticed: his son stopped asking for “more.” Before, the kid would say every 10 minutes “Dad, can I have a bigger car?” but after three days of silence he said “Look, this is a rocket and this is a house for aliens.” The toys disappeared and language started creating meaning. Neuropsychologists call this the “shift from object to symbol,” when the brain stops seeking external stimulation and begins generating its own.

2. When only a rope, a box, and three figures were left, the boy invented his own rules for the first time. “If this box is a ship, you can’t jump in without a helmet.” That’s a mini law, and law means abstract thinking. The irony is that adults spend millions on “developmental toys,” yet the brain develops best when it has nothing to consume. Research from the University of Zurich in 2018 by Dr. Karin Köller and her team found that children who played in environments with 75% fewer toys displayed a 40% increase in frontal lobe activation during unstructured play. The same study showed that reduced-toy environments led to richer storytelling and longer attention spans.

3. The surprising part came on day 10: the boy began enjoying time alone. Not bored, but immersed. He sat on the floor whispering “What if the doll could fly?” and five minutes later he built wings out of magazines. That’s not play, that’s raw thought in motion. Creativity isn’t born from joy, it comes from the inner need to figure things out.

4. The father realized he’d been stealing the most precious thing from his son, emptiness. Because emptiness is what sparks imagination. Without it, a child’s mind works like a TikTok feed, constantly swiping through stimuli. One neuropsychologist told them a line that explained everything: “Deficit is the best gym for divergent thinking.”

5. After three weeks, the boy was building entire worlds out of one block and a sheet of paper. He imagined a city “made of air except for the friends.” The father wrote those words down as proof that creativity can’t be taught, it must be unblocked. And yes, within a month the boy designed a toy that’s now sold on Etsy.

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25/12/2025

Not everyone will be merry this Christmas 🎄❤️🫂

22/12/2025

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1️⃣ When I asked her how she keeps 25 children calm without yelling or punishment, she smiled and said,
👉🏼 “We don’t discipline. We pause the nervous system.”
At first, I thought she was joking — until I saw it in action.

A child threw a crayon, another started shouting.
Instead of scolding, she walked over and whispered:
“You’re too full of feelings right now. Let’s breathe until your brain comes back.”
No anger. No threats. Just awareness.

2️⃣ It’s called “reflective pause” — and it’s used in Swedish schools instead of detention or time-out.
Kids aren’t isolated as punishment; they’re guided to reconnect with themselves.
They sit quietly, breathe, draw, or just stare out the window until their body calms down.
When they’re ready, the teacher comes back and asks one question:
“What do you think your feelings were trying to say?”

3️⃣ The science behind it?
Punishment activates shame, which shuts down learning.
Reflection activates awareness, which builds emotional intelligence.
The brain can’t learn while it feels unsafe — so Sweden stopped trying to control behavior through fear, and started teaching self-regulation instead.

4️⃣ The results shocked researchers.
After six months, classroom conflicts dropped by over 70%.
Children didn’t “behave better” because they feared consequences — they behaved better because they understood themselves.
When emotions were met with guidance instead of guilt, kids developed resilience — not resentment.

5️⃣ The teacher told me something that stuck with me:
👉🏼 “We don’t want obedient children.
We want children who can lead themselves.”
And that’s why this method, which sounds soft, actually creates the strongest adults — ones who can feel without breaking.

💭 The truth?
Discipline isn’t about control — it’s about connection.
And a child who learns to calm their own storm doesn’t need anyone to silence it for them.

If by the end of 2025 you want to completely transform your life from absolute zero — stick around on my page, and we’ll make it happen together!

22/12/2025

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You know the kids I see struggle the most?

The ones raised on constant micro-comforts. Parents who jump in at the first sign of frustration, who say s**t like “It’s okay, you don’t have to finish it” or “If it’s too hard, we can do something else.”

I’ve watched 7-year-olds melt down because their iPad froze for 10 seconds. I’ve watched 12-year-olds quit a task after 3 minutes because “it’s not fun.” This isn’t sensitivity. This is learned helplessness disguised as “gentle parenting.”

My wake-up call came during a 2022 study I ran with 118 millennial parents. The data slapped me: kids who heard 4 specific comfort phrases at least 3 times a week had 42% lower frustration tolerance and gave up twice as fast on problem-solving tasks. That was the moment I realized: it’s not screens, school, or society breaking these kids. It’s parents accidentally telling them, every damn day, “You can’t handle life without me.”

So I flipped my entire approach. Instead of “It’s okay, you don’t have to,” I switched to “Try for 2 more minutes” and “What’s one thing you can figure out on your own?” Instead of solving things myself, I waited — 90 seconds minimum. Instead of praising talent, I praised strategy: “You stuck with it,” “You found a new way.” This is not being cold. This is training their nervous system to tolerate reality.

The results? Insane. Within 6 weeks, problem-solving time doubled. Tantrums dropped by 40%. One kid who used to quit math homework after 5 minutes now pushes through 20. Another started initiating chores — unprompted. When you remove the safety net, they grow the damn wings.

If you’re still reading this, you’re already in the top 1% of parents who actually want to raise resilient humans, not fragile ones. Most won’t do this work. If you will, follow along — this is the place for the few who want the truth, not the sugar. Let’s build stronger kids, not softer ones.

20/12/2025

19/12/2025

💜🥹 I asked parents across Europe what they’ve learned raising kids and their answers made me rethink some things 👀

Swipe to read what they said — do you agree? 💛

17/12/2025

mirimika_art 💜🥹
1. Rational answers turn a parent into a source of truth instead of a fellow explorer. When a child asks “where does thunder come from,” don’t say “because of air pressure.” Say, “Because the sky is clapping its hands when it’s happy.” That’s not foolishness, it’s the emotional language that builds imagination. A child who gets all the explanations doesn’t learn to think, only to agree.

2. A child asked asked why leaves fall, and parents told him, ‘Because the trees get tired of holding them.’ For a week he gathered leaves and whispered, ‘Rest now.’” Physiology gives knowledge, metaphor gives empathy. Adults confuse developing intelligence with stripping away wonder. Every precise answer replaces life with theory. A child’s brain doesn’t crave facts; it craves play between possibilities, which activates creativity and trust in the world.

3. Try to go one week without answering a single “why” literally. A family from Spain tried that and on the third day, their child said, “I realized that things are alive.” He stopped breaking his toys. He didn’t get “dumber,” he began to see connection. Magic isn’t the opposite of logic; it’s a form of attention. Where adults see physics, a child sees meaning. If you don’t nurture that view, one day it will fade like an old photograph.

4. Children who get every explanation tend to be more anxious (according to a preschool teacher). They fear being wrong. But the ones who are allowed to live with mystery are calmer. The child’s brain perceives the unknown not as danger but as play, if the adult nearby isn’t afraid to “not know.” The phrase “let’s imagine together” heals more deeply than dozens of smart lectures. What a child needs isn’t an answer but the feeling that their question matters.

5. “I realized I’m not raising a child, I’m raising the memory of my own wonder.” When a fathert stopped explaining everything rationally and started asking “what do you think?” alongside his son, they both began to see the world differently. A child’s magic isn’t about fairies or fantasy; it’s about the return of awe. You don’t have to know why the sky is blue. You just need to remember how to be amazed by it.

15/12/2025

💜🥹
Today’s brain boost of the day is my top parenting tip: SPECIAL TIME.

Share your top tip with me in the comments.

Follow for more tips 💙

11/12/2025

1. A child’s joy grows from micro-rhythms, not rare celebrations. A calm morning gives more than a weekend at a giant mall. Try the 7-7-7 rule: seven minutes of cuddling under a blanket, seven minutes of breakfast together at one table, seven minutes of quiet talk without screens. Simple dialogue: “What do you want for breakfast - toast with cheese or porridge? You choose.” Choice creates calm and control. Repetition lowers inner tension: warm bath, yellow lamp, three pages read aloud, the same soft melody every night.

2. Praise often kills joy; acknowledgment builds it. Scene: a child drops a glass, adult snaps, “Be careful!” and the child’s world shrinks - the message is love depends on success. Replace the script with, “Let’s clean it up together, you can do it,” and hand over a towel, not a lecture. Mechanism: the child learns “I matter even when I fail.” Mistake becomes task, not identity.

3. Controlled mess creates life better than sterile order. Make a “chaos box”: an old sheet, paintbrushes, tape, clay. Set a 5-minute cleanup timer. Saturdays, build a “base”: two chairs, a blanket, flashlight, snacks, secret password at the entrance. Physical play releases stress; predictable limits build safety. When energy spikes, say, “You want to jump? Let’s go to the rug - that’s the jumping zone.”

4. A calendar of anticipation works better than lectures. Hang a weekly grid on the fridge: magnets with icons - book, park, board game, baking, call grandma - and every evening the child moves the “done” magnet. Time becomes visible, the brain relaxes. Example: on wednesday spend 20 minutes fixing little things together, small screwdriver, container for screws, feeling of “I’m useful” gets glued in.

5. Respect isn’t softness - it’s clarity plus choice. Use “yes, and” instead of “no, because”: “Yes, you want cartoons, and first we put toys in the box. You pick which five go first.” In the car, use “emotion cards”: child shows “I’m angry” or “I’m bored,” adult names it, “I see, waiting’s hard. Want to count red cars or give trees funny names?” When feelings are named, impulses calm down, and the child gets a lever of ✨mirimika_art 💜🥹

11/12/2025

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1️⃣ Yelling when angry.
Before the age of six, a child’s brain can’t yet regulate impulses.
That shout isn’t disrespect — it’s release. The body choosing noise over explosion.

2️⃣ Crying “for no reason.”
Tears are how the nervous system vents overload.
When emotions don’t fit inside, the eyes take over.

3️⃣ Throwing things when frustrated.
It’s not rebellion. It’s frustration — the gap between what they imagined and what they can manage.
They’re still learning to hold disappointment without breaking.

4️⃣ Can’t sit still.
Their vestibular system is still maturing.
Movement is their version of focus — not distraction.

5️⃣ Interrupting adults.
They’re not being rude.
Short-term memory in young children is fragile; if they don’t say it now, the thought disappears forever.

6️⃣ Getting angry at parents.
Not ingratitude — individuation.
It’s the emotional step where love grows teeth and the “self” starts to take shape.

7️⃣ Being slow to get ready.
It’s not laziness — it’s brain architecture.
Cognitive switching, the ability to move from one task to another, develops much later than patience does.

8️⃣ Not sharing toys.
Empathy isn’t built yet.
Before age five, a child still lives inside “me.” Sharing isn’t morality — it’s maturity.

9️⃣ Fearing new things.
That’s not weakness; that’s the limbic system checking for safety.
Courage doesn’t come from pressure. It comes from trust.

🔟 Zoning out with screens or cartoons.
It’s not addiction.
It’s sensory recalibration — their brain looking for quiet in a world that’s too loud.

In neuroeducation, these are called normative stages of nervous-system development.
A child isn’t manipulating you — they’re growing.
And how you respond today will decide whether they become confident or constantly apologetic tomorrow.

👉 Don’t lose my account: — new truths every day.

People don’t just read my posts — they stop confusing growth with misbehaviour and start raising kids who aren’t afraid to feel.

09/12/2025

mirimika_art 💜🥹
1. Questions like “why did you do that?” activates the amygdala, the brain’s defense center. It is heard as a threat, not curiosity. That is why a child either shuts down or lies. But asking “what were you feeling when that happened?” activates the prefrontal cortex, where awareness and empathy are formed. The same situation, but two completely different brain responses.

2. Psychologists explained that “why” implies rational analysis, which in children under 10 is not yet fully developed. They cannot explain their motives because they are not conscious of them. A softer question like “what was happening inside you then?” helps translate emotion into words, the key emotional regulation skill that later defines maturity.

3. In Helsinki’s Elementary School, 14 teachers replaced “why” with “what helped you choose that?” and within three months conflicts dropped by 46%. Children began to discuss their decisions instead of defending them. When a child feels they’re not being accused, they start searching for their own answer. That’s when real learning happens, not interrogation.

4. The way a question is framed affects mirror neuron activity. A non-accusatory tone triggers engagement, not resistance. When an adult says “let’s figure this out together,” the child’s brain activates the regions responsible for cooperation. That is how trust is built, the foundation of both discipline and motivation.

5. This is why Finnish educators teach connection before control. Changing one question transforms a conversation from interrogation to dialogue. And it is in that moment, when the adult stops looking for blame, that the child first feels true responsibility. Not from fear, but from understanding, and that is where real maturity begins.

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06/12/2025

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How bedtime stories synchronise your child’s brain with yours.⁠
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When parents read to young children their neural patterns begins to align, an experience no screen can match.⁠
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Professor Sam Wass, a neuroscientist and director of the Institute for the Science of Early Years and Youth at the University of East London, explains what this means. “Their brains are literally falling into sync,” he says.⁠

Reading for pleasure is more than just a life skill, it is the essence of life. There is a reading crisis, however, and it is applicable to every generation. 

That is why The Sunday Times has launched our campaign to Get Britain Reading again. Donate to Bookbanks to put books in the hands of those most in need. Volunteer to read in schools with Coram Beanstalk. Above all, take our pledge to read for pleasure for at least ten minutes a day for six weeks.
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