Naomi Light

Naomi Light ❤️‍🩹 Should I stay or should I go?
🌪️ Relationship crisis
👇🏼 Evidence-based resources

10/02/2026

Your feelings are a weather vane, not a foundation. 💨

It sounds harsh, but it’s true.
When you are falling in love, you don't need an agreement to be kind. It happens naturally.
But what happens at 2 AM when you are exhausted and fighting about money? That is when the love gets clouded by stress.
If you rely on your feelings in that moment, you will burn the house down.
This is why we make explicit agreements.
"We agree not to shout."
"We agree not to storm out."
"We agree to put the relationship first."
These are your pre-decided flight paths. You set them when the skies are clear so that when the turbulence hits, you can fly on autopilot without crashing the plane.

When life gets hard—due to stress, exhaustion, or grief—your "spark" will naturally flicker. If your relationship relies solely on how you feel in the moment, it’s vulnerable to every passing storm.

True security comes from Agreements. These are the rules you set when you are happy to protect the relationship for when you aren't. They dictate how you speak, how you repair, and how you show up even when you’re "hateful."

Don't wait for the mood to strike to be a good partner. Build the foundation now, comment "Rewire".

08/02/2026

It was choosing to soften my eyes when I looked at him. It was him choosing to lower his voice. It was gentleness in the kitchen, playfulness in the dining room. A thousand calm pillow talks.
Those small, repeated acts of safety built a bridge that the big conversations never could.
If you want to rebuild, go small.

Be gentle.

Be consistent.

Comment "Rewire" to learn more...

06/02/2026

When Nick and I rebuilt, we didn't look back. We looked forward.

We treated each other like two people meeting for the first time. I stopped expecting him to react like the "Old Nick," and he stopped expecting me to be the "Old Naomi."

We dropped the script. We stopped saying "You always do this." We cleared the slate.

You can’t build a new future if you are still clinging to the old architecture. Tear it down. Start afresh.

04/02/2026

Alain De Botton on numbing out. I love the way he uses kindness here to help us think differently. What do you think?

31/01/2026

When my therapist said, “The marriage has to end,”

my stomach dropped.

Not the people.

Not the commitment.

Just the version of us that was slowly destroying itself.

Ending that marriage is what made space for the one we have now.

Comment "Rewire" to start your new beginning...

29/01/2026

No one tells you this part.

That the relationship you’re trying to save might already be over —
and that letting it go could be the most loving thing you do.

Not every ending is a goodbye.
Some are the doorway to a truer beginning.

comment "rewire" to start your new beginning

27/01/2026

I’ll never forget the look on my daughter’s face while I was clearing up breakfast. She was only seven, but her face had gone pale and her eyes were wide with worry.

She looked up and asked: "Are you and daddy going to get divorced?" It felt like my heart had been kicked. 💔

I wanted so badly to hug her and say, "Everything is fine." I wanted to give her that quick fix every parent wants to give. But I knew she’d see right through me. Children are like sponges; they soak up the tension in a house long before any big argument happens. I had to take a deep breath and tell her the truth: "I don't know what is going to happen, sweetheart."

At the time, I didn't get it. We were a good couple. We were smart, we were in love, and we were good people. But I’ve learned since then that love isn't always enough to keep a relationship stable. We were sinking because of a million tiny, ignored problems—the stuff we never fixed because we were just too busy or too tired.

We had stopped acting like a team and started acting like two separate people just trying to protect our own feelings. We were living together but pulled in different directions.

Check in the comments the things I learned about how to stay rock solid for your kids when your relationship is rocky. Nick and I turned things around but for a long time I needed my kids to know they would be OK even if we split up.

25/01/2026

The first 30 seconds of a fight usually determine how it ends. 📉 If you start with a finger pointed at your partner’s character, they have no choice but to defend themselves. That’s not a conversation; it’s a war.

The "Gentle Start-Up" is a game-changer. By shifting from "You always..."to "I feel...",you stop the attack and start an invitation. You aren't just "bickering"—you're learning a new language of connection.

Ready to break the cycle of criticism?

✨ Join my Rewiring Love Course this spring. 7 weeks of expert tools to transform your communication.
Comment ‘COURSE’ for your application pack

21/01/2026

It’s a sobering thought, isn't it? 50% of UK teen parents will face divorce. And if I’m honest, 12 years into my marriage, we came so, so close to being part of that number.

We weren't failing; we just didn't have the right map. I’ve spent years distilling what actually turned things around for us into these simple truths:

- Your memory isn't as reliable as you think. If hurts go unresolved, your brain actually overwrites the "good" with the "bad."
- The movies lied to us. Hollywood romance won't sustain a long-term, real-life partnership.
- It’s a "wired" thing. Your childhood attachment patterns might be accidentally sabotaging your connection today.
- The "Blame Game" is a brain trick. Our minds love to point the finger, but real change starts with humility and a bit of curiosity about our own reactions.
- Your kids are the front-row audience. They are learning how to love by watching you. We have the power to break the generational cycle so they don't have to.

You don't have to do this alone—most of us need a hand to find our way back. You can rewire your nervous system for peace, even after decades of struggle. It’s time to prioritise fun again.

I have 20 spots open in my 7-week course for couples ‘Rewiring Love’ starting this month. If you are sick of the drama and want to built a new and better connection with your partner then you can apply to join. Comment COURSE and I’ll send you the link.

*Statistics from the Marriage Institute

19/01/2026

Comment ‘COURSE’ for the full details of the Rewiring Love Course.

Is it unromantic to have "rules" for your relationship? Actually, it’s the ultimate act of love. ❤️

When we rely solely on emotions, we are at the mercy of stress, hormones, and busy schedules. When we rely on **Agreements**, we guarantee our partner’s care even on the hard days. That is the secret to a love that lasts a lifetime.

Ready to transform your relationship from the inside out?

🚀 My Rewiring Love Course has 20 spaces starting 31st Jan. I’d love to guide you through my 7-weeks of transformative experiences for you and your partner.
Reply ‘COURSE’ for all the details and your application pack.

15/01/2026

We were at rock bottom. We had nothing left to lose. But once we let a professional into the room, everything shifted. She was the 'third eye'—seeing the unhealthy patterns we were completely blind to.

Within twelve months, I wasn't just staying in the marriage; I was falling in love with a whole new man.

Who just happened to be my husband!!

You don't need to wait for 'rock bottom' to get that kind of clarity.

In January, I am launching The Rewiring Love Course—7 weeks of therapist-designed live content for couples who want to break the cycle and find each other again.

It’s the roadmap I wish we had years ago.

Ready to see what you’ve been blind to?

Comment 'REWIRE' below and I’ll send you the details.👇

15/01/2026

Ever wonder why a tiny comment about the washing up turns into an epic row? 96% of the time, it’s all down to the first 30 seconds. (*Research from the Gottman Institue)

If you lead with criticism, your partner’s "alarm system" (the amygdala) goes off. Once they feel attacked, the part of their brain that can actually listen and empathise effectively shuts down.

To change the outcome, we have to change the science:

- State a positive need: Instead of what you don't want, tell them what you do want.
- Keep it brief: Long "monologues" of grievances usually trigger a shutdown.
- Check your body language: A gentle touch or a soft gaze can literally lower your partner’s heart rate.
- Practice curiosity over certainty: Instead of assuming they’re being lazy, ask what’s going on for them.

You don’t have to stay stuck in these loops. In my Rewiring Love course, I’ll show you how to retrain your nervous system to stay calm and connected, even during the hard chats.

Comment COURSE for the link to apply.

couples therapist | unsure of leaving | stay or go | reconnect

Address

Cedar Court, 5 College Street
Petersfield
GU314AE

Website

http://bio.site/naomilight

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when Naomi Light posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Contact The Practice

Send a message to Naomi Light:

Shortcuts

Share

Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on LinkedIn
Share on Pinterest Share on Reddit Share via Email
Share on WhatsApp Share on Instagram Share on Telegram

Category