Therapy with Teri

28/11/2025

If you have received counselling from me and are comfortable leaving a review it would be appreciated 😁

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28/11/2025

Navigating a relationship with an emotionally immature mom can be really hard and emotionally draining.

So many adult children feel invisible , this can contribute to low self-esteem, anxiety, depression and more.

Non of this behaviour is your responsibility as the adult children in the relationship. Your only responsibility is to create boundaries to help protect yourself or, in some cases, going no contact.

Children raised by these sorts of mothers dont take the no contact route lightly ( contrary to what some current trends would have you think)

No contact usually comes after years of emotional abuse and neglect . When asking to be seen continues to go unheard and asking for the parent to take some responsibility is met with contempt by the parent!

Therapy can help you to begin to make sense of what's yours and what's not , help you decide and create healthy boundaries, or work through the pain of making the decision to go no contact.

23/11/2025

Trauma can have us constantly on edge and scanning for danger.

Part of recovery is to include ways in which we can slow down, pause and notice whats happening inside us, naming feelings and sensations to enable us to know when we are feeling on edge. The more we practice the better we become at noticing when we feel stressed or triggered.

Mindfulness is a big part of this - allowing yourself to just be in the moment, there is no right or wrong way to do mindfulness , its not about being present for extended periods of time but more about connecting to parts of ourselves and showing our central nevrous system its ok to relax.

23/11/2025

23/11/2025

Our trauma responses helped keep us safe in unsafe situations , usually in childhood but may now be hindering our adult life.

Therapy can help you to recognise, understand and alleviate some of these responses, especially when they are showing up in moments that are not threatening ( but your nervous system still percieves as theratening)

Honouring how they kept you safe when you were a child issue part of the process to be able to release them from your system, along with finding healthier ways to cope with stimuli.

Below outlines some of our responses when we are triggered and some helpful hints on how to help calm our central nervous system back into a state of calm.

What's your go to response when feeling overwhelmed?

Do you find yourself using one more than the others or like me to you recognise aspects of all of them?

What helps calm you in these moments?

23/11/2025

On our journey we are going to hurt people and people are going ro hurt us - its what we do with this thats important.

If we hurt someone and we feel bad , owning upto what we did, asking how we can make things better and changing behaviours to limit it happening again is the best way to show others our remorse and future intent.

Likewise if people harm us the change in behaviour after the apology matters.

If people harm us then never say sorry or say sorry and dont change the behaviour that harms us , and some will do both of these - we then have to make a choice , choices built on our boundries, where our edges are, these are usually deeply personal for each person.

Do you remain in the relationship , distance yourself from ut or cut it off altogether ?? Only you know that.

What we can get caught up in is the narrative that we cant let go until we receive an apology or changed behaviour , sadly some people wont / cant / dont want to change and so we need to release this idea we have that we can move on when we get an apology.

No apology is an answer, lack of changed behaviour tells you all you need to know.

We cant control other people only how we respond to them. That is where our power lies , within the confines of our own being.

22/11/2025

Clients very often say they ' just want to be normal ' or are 'not normal'

My question then is - what does normal look like for you? They are usually surprised when our ideas of normal dont always align!!!

After all normal to the spider is chaos to the fly!

While we may have degrees of alignment in our ideas , we wont agree on every aspect , so what is normal?

Blanket believing what our brains tell us without questioning or challenging it can create anxiety and stress for us.

22/11/2025

Sleep hygiene is so important but can be one of the most elusive aspects of our lives when we are struggling with trauma and CPTSD.

Lack of sleep can make the world feel bigger and scarier.

Breathing techniques , muscle relaxation , meditation and guided imagery can all help us to switch off the overthinking brain and allow us space to rest.

Other things like no electronics, warm bath , hot drink , good bedtime routines can also help our bodies prepare for sleep.

20/11/2025

We dont always live in either / or , infact most of the time we live in a both / and world.

We can feel both strong and weak , one does not mean the other cannot exist , both can coexist sometimes in equal measure , sometimes not!

Allowing ourselves to see the world through a both / and view allows compassion for those parts who we may otherwise try to hide through shame or fear of judgement.