True2You Therapy, Counselling, Creative Arts & Play Therapy

01/12/2025

THE MASKING CYCLE

Many children hold everything in all day, only releasing their distress when they reach the safety of home. This visual shows how easily a young person can get pulled into the masking cycle — not because they’re coping well, but because they’re trying hard not to be seen as struggling.

Trigger → Something overwhelms their system — a demand, sensory overload, change, or social pressure.

Big Emotion → They feel it intensely but don’t feel safe enough to show it openly.

Dysregulation → Their nervous system moves into stress mode, making it harder to think clearly or stay flexible.

Misunderstood Response → Adults may miss the early signs, interpreting their behaviour as overreaction or defiance.

Shame or Fear → The child begins to worry about being judged, punished, or seen as “too much”.

Suppression or Escalation → They either mask harder, pushing everything down, or become more overwhelmed — and the cycle continues.

If you’re supporting a child who masks, our Masking Toolkit walks you through identifying triggers, strategies to reduce the pressure and help them feel safe enough to be their authentic selves.
Link in comments below ⬇️ or via Linktree Shop in Bio.

28/11/2025

It takes the body time to calm — not just a few deep breaths.

When a child is overwhelmed, their nervous system can take 20–60 minutes to fully settle after a surge of stress hormones. A heightened sense of justice (more common in neurodivergent children) can drive the chemical changes for longer). That’s why calm can’t be rushed. They need safety, patience and connection — not pressure to “get over it.”

Understanding this is at the heart of brain-based parenting. Regulation isn’t instant; it’s built through co-regulation and trust.

This also demonstrates why a child needs longer than 5 minutes out of class after an incident.

There is a full range of calming strategy prompts in our toolkit below.

NOW AVAILABLE IN THE RESOURCE STORE - to accompany our series on social media.

The Child Brain Explained: How the Upstairs & Downstairs Brain Shape Behaviour, a Toolkit for Parents & Educators - available for only £3.75 until 3 November 2025

Electronic download available at link in comments ⬇️ or via our Linktree Shop in Bio.

26/11/2025

https://www.linkedin.com/posts/rachel-morse-0204143b_traumainformed-education-childdevelopment-ugcPost-7397682083781054464-od65?utm_source=share&utm_medium=member_ios&rcm=ACoAAAbXhQMB2xHKnnaDO9lE5fOeSANGpInyLyU

Why don’t traditional consequences work for children with developmental or relational trauma? I’ve been asked this twice today—once by a teacher unsure why students need wellbeing or time-out passes, and once by a parent worried that empathising with a child meant excusing their behaviour. The...

17/11/2025

There is a quiet lie woven into foster care.
This idea that a parent can heal years of trauma in a matter of months.
That cycles that took generations to build can be undone by a treatment plan and a signature.
That addiction can be conquered before the next ninety day review.
That deep wounds can be wrapped up neatly before the next hearing.

But trauma does not move on a timeline.
Healing does not follow the court calendar.
Generational pain does not disappear because someone finished a class.

And I know the system is broken.
I know deadlines are often more about clearing caseloads than supporting real change.
I know judges and caseworkers push for progress without understanding how long true healing takes.

But here is the tension no one likes to talk about.
How much time is too much time for a child to sit in limbo?
Because while adults are healing, children are waiting.
And waiting is its own kind of wound.

I am not saying parents should get endless years to figure things out.
Not when a child is the one paying the price for every setback.
Not when there is no real progress being made.
Not when the same choices keep repeating.

If a parent is not changing at all, they do not need more time.
They need accountability, honesty, and a plan that puts the child first.

But there is another side to this.
Some parents really are trying.
Some parents are breaking generational chains one painful step at a time.
Some parents are showing up, sober, humble, and doing the work.
And those parents should not be rushed just to meet a deadline on a judge’s calendar.
Healing that deep deserves time.
Recovery that fragile deserves support.
Change that real deserves space to grow.

But children deserve stability too.
They deserve a life that is not one long pause.
They deserve permanency, one way or another.
They deserve to know where home is.

So what do we do with that tension?
We tell the truth.
Not every parent needs more time.
But not every parent can heal in three or six months.
The answer is not endless extensions or rushed reunification.
The answer is discernment.
Real evaluation.
Actual honesty instead of box checking.

If a parent is truly changing, you support that.
If a parent is not changing, you protect the child from more waiting.
It is not cruelty.
It is compassion for both.

Because children should never be sacrificed to timelines.
And parents who are fighting for their healing should not be crushed by them either.

You cannot fix generational trauma with court deadlines.
But you can tell the truth about what real healing looks like.
And you can fight for a system that honors the child without giving up on the parent who is trying to become who their child needs.

That is what justice looks like.
And that is what love looks like too.

14/11/2025

As therapists we aren’t here to fix you, you don’t need fixing 🫶

We are here to help you untangle your thoughts 💭

We are here to let you be yourself, without judgement 👩‍⚖️

We are here to give you a chance to be heard, understood and supported 💛

07/09/2025

**🌿 Understanding Our Kids: It’s Not About Choice 🌿**

Sometimes, we think our children are choosing to behave in challenging ways, but often, it’s not a choice at all. Kids don’t always have the skills to manage their big feelings, control impulses, or communicate their needs calmly. 💭

When they act out, it’s usually a signal that they're overwhelmed, frustrated, or simply lack the tools they need to cope. Gentle parenting recognizes that children aren't “choosing” to misbehave — they’re responding in the only ways they know how. 🧠💫

Instead of seeing these moments as defiance, we can view them as opportunities to teach and guide. By modeling patience and compassion, we help them build the skills they need to regulate their emotions and make better choices in the future.

So, the next time behavior feels challenging, let’s ask ourselves: “What does my child need to learn here?” rather than “Why are they acting like this?” 🤍

More information in my book
📖 Guidance from The Therapist Parent
Available on my website www.thetherapistparent.com and Amazon

07/09/2025

Traumatic symptoms are not caused by the triggering’ event itself. They stem from the frozen residue of energy that had not been resolved or discharged; this residue remains trapped in the nervous system where it can wreak havoc on our bodies and spirits.

- Peter Levine

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Peter is one of the speakers for the upcoming 3rd edition of 3-Month Online Training „Integrating Somatic Techniques in Therapy”.
https://bit.ly/3MonthSomaticTraining

22/06/2025

🤔 Ever notice your child clinging to you more than usual, asking for extra hugs, or resisting bedtime unless you’re nearby? 👇

🫂These aren’t “bad behaviors”—they're bids for connection.

Children don’t always have the words to say “I need you,” so they express it through actions:
🔹 They interrupt your work or follow you room to room
🔹 They suddenly need more cuddles or reassurance
🔹 They want you to watch this! every 5 minutes
🔹 They resist going to bed unless you’re close
🔹 They’re more emotional or sensitive than usual

💞These are all signs that your child is craving connection, not trying to make things harder.

🧠 Developmentally, children are wired for attachment. When that connection feels distant—even briefly—their behavior ramps up as a signal. Research shows that secure attachment directly shapes a child’s emotional regulation, behavior, and long-term resilience (Sroufe et al., 2005).

📚 In fact, a 2013 study by Feldman found that sensitive and attuned caregiving—like responding to these subtle cues—actually promotes better brain development in the areas responsible for empathy and emotional control.

So the next time your child melts down or clings a little tighter, try asking yourself:

🤔What connection might they be missing right now?

😊Often, just 10 minutes of undivided attention—a snuggle, a puzzle, or playful eye contact—can refill their emotional cup.

Because when kids feel emotionally safe, they behave better, cope better, and grow stronger. Connection isn’t just soft—it’s science. 🧠❤️

19/06/2025

I'm getting increasingly concerned by the "dabbling" in children's mental health that is being encouraged by the Labour government! Not only did they strip back the ASGSF to unworkable amounts (I'm now constantly thinking do we refuse that meeting or do it for free & risk bankruptcy?)😪 Trying to remain ethical without the funding to do so is bad enough. But they've also stated "mental health provision in schools", which basically means giving a staff member a brief course to dabble. We're getting enquiries to train people to work in this way. It won't be encouraged by eQuiPT. It's downright dangerous in a bid to look like the government are doing good for children. If they actually want to benefit mental health I ask this: 1.Fund actually qualified therapists in schools. 2. Reinstate the ASGSF funding to workable levels so that we can do the job we love doing and properly. 3. Add money to the pot so that Kinship carers can access support too. At the moment the government are creating a very dangerous environment. Families please question what's being offered. Is the "therapist" qualified? Are they registered? Therapists are trained to post graduate level! Please always ask. Somone who doesn't know what they're doing can actively make things worse. The Provider's List and Ofsted was created for a very good reason. Accountability for Provider's. Action against ASGSF changes

16/04/2025

Therapy Room available
Plympton, Devon

Suitable for 1:1 counselling and family therapy

Parking, kitchen and bathroom facilities available

Rental fees are:-

£15 per hour
£50 per 4 hours
£100 per day

Please get in touch if you’re looking for a lovely space to work from.

Kind regards
Jo

12/04/2025