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Nikila Davis Counselling, Poole (2026)

28/01/2026

T h e I n n e r V o i c e . . . 🎤

That voice in your head,
the one commenting on everything…
have you noticed it?

What does yours sound like?
What’s the tone?
Does it remind you of someone else?

Is it warm, kind, patient, understanding, loving?
Or is it harsh, judgey, shouty, tell-offy… always disappointed?

Do you have more than one?
One cheering you on, at war with another one that shames you?

Does your inner voice speak truth… or spit lies?
And can you tell the difference?

For a long time, mine was mostly unkind.
It made me feel small, guilty, fearful, not enough, confused.
And it mostly ignored the evidence right in front of me.

I could see that I’d created or done something good (evidence!)
The voice would say: “Meh. Not that great.”

I could see someone doing something kind for me (evidence!)
The voice would say: “They probably didn’t really want to do that.”

I could feel completely frazzled and overwhelmed, my body screaming for rest (evidence!)
The voice would say: “Stop being lazy, other people keep going.”

That inner voice can be a sneaky lil thief, robbing us of goodness.

Through therapy and a whole load of intentional work on myself, I’ve trained my kinder voice to be louder.
The other one hasn’t vanished altogether, but it has been demoted!
It no longer controls the mic.

This stuff really matters, because when the inner voice sounds more like a best mate and less like an enemy, life feels so very different, better.

This is possible for you too!

💛

07/11/2025

LOVE IN THE LITTLE THINGS ♡

I am currently sat on the sofa eating marmite on toast, and drinking tea out of my favourite mug. My dog has joined me, snuggled up ready to snaffle up any crumbs that might fall.
I have just got back from the morning school run, which I did in the car wearing un-matching pjs (which just about pass as ‘lounge wear’), fluffy socks and pink crocs. I drove home in silence-no radio, no bluetooth calls to anyone.

None of this is fancy, but it is purposeful. I have paid attention.

In my quest to be a responsible grown up(!!), I am tuning in more and more to the small things I can do to take care of myself and calm my nervous system.
Mini moments of rest.
Little acts of love.

💛🖤 Marmite on toast. Comfort food.

☕️ Tea in my favourite mug that my sister bought me. Reminds me I am loved.

🧦 My clothes are loose and soft on my skin. My body feels cosy and hugged.

🐶 My dog gives good cuddles, we are enjoying each other’s affection.

🙉 I enjoy chatting on the phone to those I love. But this morning I noticed I just needed quiet.

I love to love others.
I love to be loved by others.

This morning, amongst the busyness of my life, in this small window of time, I have loved myself through food, warmth, comfort and silence.

I have shown myself love in these simple, unfancy, little things .

💛

08/10/2025

🖤🖤🖤

I am in complete awe of the clients who bring themselves to therapy sessions.

Feeling emotionally naked, vulnerable, wobbly, unsure if they are worthy of therapy, with the stuffing kicked out of them- these incredible humans taking action to improve their lives, despite the wrong that is or has been done to them.

It will never get old for me. I will never not be bowled over by the bravery I witness daily.

Social media will swamp you with all that is wrong in this world, but I see, in the privacy of the therapy room, all that is right- all that is beautiful and courageous- in the faces of my clients.

Always in awe 🖤

12/08/2025

Y o u ‘ r e N o t B r o k e n . . .

There is something about us humans- we often have more understanding, acceptance and compassion for animals, plants and objects than we do for ourselves or each other.

Some examples…

🪫~ When a car isn’t topped up with fuel or a phone isn’t charged, we understand why these cannot function. We do not expect them to perform on ‘empty’.

🏋 ~ When a shelf collapses under too much weight, we don’t look at the shelf as faulty, we understand it was overloaded.

🐕 ~ When a rescue dog displays wonky behaviours, we don’t judge it, we understand that this is what happens as a result of mistreatment or neglect.

🌵~ When a plant isn’t given the right conditions, we expect it to wilt. We wouldn’t expect a cactus to thrive in a rainforest, or mushrooms to grow in a desert.

🚤 ~ When a boat is battered in a storm, we don’t blame the boat.

📖 ~ When pages of a book are missing we understand why the story doesn’t make sense.

🌧️ ~ When a river is fed by relentless rain, we’re not shocked when it overflows.

⚠️ ~ When any machine is run non-stop without care or maintenance, we’re not surprised when it breaks down.

And yet there are huge numbers of humans living with anxiety, confusion, depression, and overwhelm, genuinely believing deep down that they are somehow broken. The question swirling and on replay- ‘what is wrong with me?’

But if we dig a little deeper and take a look at our environments, the circumstances that surround us or the experiences we have endured, we’d see the truth 👀.

We are not broken, we are responding (exactly as anything else would) to the conditions we have been given.

💛

08/07/2025

D r a i n s & R a d i a t o r s 🫩 😊

I love this picture of drains and radiators- it’s one of my favourite tools in my life’s toolbox and something I often share with clients. It’s a simple idea that can really help when life feels messy, and anything but simple.

Certain people, places, events or commitments can either drain you or radiate energy toward you.

🪫 vs 🔋

DRAIN = when something or someone leaves you feeling depleted. You might feel heavy, resentful, or totally worn out after an interaction or activity. It’s like the energy has been quietly sucked out of you. You might notice a sense of dread beforehand, or feel like you’re running on empty afterwards.

RADIATOR = when you feel energised, lit up, and more like you. You feel lighter, inspired, peaceful, grounded, joyful. These are the people, places or activities that bring warmth and goodness into your life- they give more than they take.

🧐 🧐 🧐
Tuning into this- viewing life through the ‘drain and radiator lens’, can help you understand yourself and your needs better. It can also guide how you use your energy and time, and where to place (or tighten up) your boundaries.

You don’t have to cut out every drain- but you might decide to limit how long you spend with one, or how often. You might also intentionally schedule in time with those radiators to recoup and recharge 🥰.

I don’t believe this is selfishness, it’s self-awareness. It’s about noticing how things impact you and responding in ways that care for your energy and well-being.

And I think that when we are kind to ourselves we are in a better place to offer kindness to others.
You can’t pour from an empty cup!!

🔆

13/06/2025

T h e I n v i s i b l e O n e s . . .

The ones who…

☑️ Had ‘good’ childhoods.
☑️ Came from stable homes with no financial hardship.
☑️ Had supportive parents who stayed together.
☑️ Were high achievers with a ‘bright’ future.
☑️ Had holidays, hobbies and privilege.
☑️ Felt they had ‘no right’ to be struggling.
☑️ Suffered no major trauma.
☑️ Who, to the world, seemed to have it all.
☑️ Whose lives look “bang tidy” on the outside.

I have been thinking about these folk a lot lately.

The ones who think they don’t ‘deserve’ therapy. That they shouldn’t feel anxious, less than, lost, numb, or disconnected.
The ones who are deeply grateful for their upbringing and feel guilty or even disloyal for struggling.

BUT…

📢 Not all wounds are loud.
🌪️ Not all pain comes from chaos.

Sometimes it’s the subtle things-
🔹the pressure to be perfect
🔹not knowing how to express your pain/emotions
🔹the quiet (unintentional) emotional neglect that no one sees or talks about
🔹feeling misunderstood even in a ‘good’ family.

S o m e t r u t h s :

▪️High expectations can create perfectionism, shame and anxiety. Especially if failing feels like it is letting down the very people who supported you.
▪️Feeling like you owe your parents for all they have done for you can keep you from exploring your unmet needs and unresolved feelings.
▪️”Other people had it worse” becomes a mahoosive block to seeking therapy and invalidates/silences your own pain.
▪️When everything looks “peachy” on paper, it can be super hard to find the words to explain how you’re feeling. And terrifying to risk seeming ungrateful.

M o r e t r u t h s (Listen up!!! ☺️) :

✔️YOU DESERVE SUPPORT.
✔️YOU ARE ALLOWED TO FEEL WHAT YOU FEEL.
✔️YOUR PAIN IS VALID.
✔️THERAPY IS FOR YOU TOO.

Even if you don’t hop on the therapy bus, I hope through this post you feel just a little more seen.

🩶

07/05/2025

S e e i n g C l e a r l y F o r T h e F i r s t T i m e 🤓

Last week I took my ten year old for his first eye test. He’d mentioned that when he’s at the back of the classroom sometimes the words on the board are a little blurry. Within the hour he was picking out his new glasses- turns out he’s now a full time spectacle wearer!!

A few days later we picked them up and I found myself getting emotional as I watched him really seeing the world for the first time.
“Oh my gosh Dad your face looks different, wow I can see those words right at the back of the shop, things are clear, I can see the edges of things, everything looks different”.
He had no idea that things looked so “wonky”until he saw how clear they could be.

I have been reflecting on that moment and it hit me- this is exactly how I felt when I started counselling.

EVERYTHING LOOKED DIFFERENT 👀

Through therapy I saw the world and myself with a new set of ‘eyes’…

👀I realised I had power to change things where before I felt stuck or without hope.
👀I saw that I am responsible for my own inner world, that I had been unknowingly placing that responsibility onto others.
👀I realised I was not broken.
👀I realised much of my distress was about my own lack of boundaries not others people’s behaviour.
👀I realised that I had felt entirely responsible for other people’s feelings when that wasn’t mine to carry.
👀 I saw how often my younger self would take the wheel in difficult situations.

My sister calls glasses “see mores”!!! And that is exactly what therapy did for me…it gave me the ability to see more. It changed everything and I am so grateful. 💛

If you’ve been toying with the idea of counselling, maybe it’s time to get your own pair of “see mores”.
👀🤓👓

23/04/2025

H e a l i n g D o e s n ‘ t H a v e T o B e B l a m e y 🏹

Engaging in therapy often involves looking back through childhood and exploring the factors that have fed into who we have become as adults. This can bring up many complex feelings and realisations.
There is a temptation to blame our parents for many (or all) of our problems, and sure they have definitely played a part in who we have become!

I have noticed that many of us hold an unconscious belief that our parents should be perfect people and that they ought to have ‘nailed’ their parenting, to have known exactly what they were doing. (That belief, in turn, can deeply affect how we judge ourselves as parents too).

I just don’t believe it is as black and white as that…

‼️There are so many varying family situations and this is not a blanket post covering all of these.‼️

What I share below is for parents, adult children (who may now be parents themselves), and those of us who are both. My hope is that it expands our thinking and deepens our compassion—for ourselves and for our parents. ❤️‍🩹

I hope you feel seen…

🌀 Many of us become parents before we are ready.
🌀 Many of us started parenting before we had unpacked, or even understood our own childhood experiences.
🌀 Many of us cannot explore our childhoods as it feels like we are betraying, being disloyal or ungrateful to our parents.
🌀 Many of us don’t realise that the way we were raised shapes the way we raise our own children.
🌀 Many of us hurt our children without meaning to.
🌀 Many of us carry unforgiveness towards our parents for their mistakes.
🌀 Many of us don’t adjust the way we parent to suit the different personalities/natures of our different children.
🌀 Many of us have had no parents to guide us with our own parenting.
🌀 Many of us are truly doing the best we can with the resources we have.
🌀 Many of us struggle with our parents’ lack of self-awareness.
🌀 Many of us believe “that’s just how it was for me” and carry that forward unconsciously- even when it’s not ‘best’ for their child.
🌀 Many of us are still traumatised by things we have experienced. (Many of us don’t realise we are).
🌀 Many of us find it easier to blame our parents than to take responsibility for ourselves.
🌀 Many of us are overwhelmed by the conflicting parenting ‘advice’ online.
🌀 Many of us find it excruciating to own our parenting ‘mistakes’.
🌀 Many of us are in conflict with the other parent about how to raise our children.
🌀 Many of us don’t know how, or know it is possible to repair damage in parent/child relationships.
🌀 Many of us simply have no real clue what we are doing!
🌀 Many of us want to be better but don’t know how.
🌀 Many of us deeply love our children but do not know how to show it in the way our children long to receive it.
🌀 Many of us have had very little support in raising our children.
🌀 Many of us struggle to have honest, difficult conversations with our parents.
🌀 Many of us struggle to have honest, difficult conversations with our children.

>It is perfectly normal to feel anger, grief, disappointment, frustration, injustice, sadness etc when working through parent/child stuff- those wounds are real- the struggle is real 🩶😞.

>For many of us, looking at our childhood honestly is painful-too painful to even begin. But we have to ‘feel the feels’ in order to process and heal.

>Where the ‘blame game’ is strong there is less room for repair, healing, inner peace, growth and potential reconciliations.

Finding the sweet spot somewhere between blame and denial is where the magic can happen.
It’s where compassion lives, where healing can begin and where something new becomes possible. ✨✨

18/03/2025

T E S T I M O N Y T U E S D A Y . . .💜

22/02/2025

I LOVE THIS 👇🏽
Human connection is what happens when people truly see, hear, and understand each other. It’s that feeling of belonging, whether through a conversation, a smile, a shared giggle, or a simple act of kindness. 🤓 Research shows that strong connections can reduce stress, improve mental, emotional, and physical health, and even help us live longer. It’s what makes us feel less alone and more connected to the world around us.
Our world is crying out for connection…GOOD NEWS…we all carry the potential to be ‘medicine’ for another human 🖤.

07/02/2025

C o u r a g e . . . 💪🏽

When a person takes their butt to therapy it is one of the most gutsy, ballsy, courageous moves they can make.
I am in awe of the clients I see and the courage it has taken some to start their journey, to take what can feel like a giant and vulnerable step into counselling.

To me, that is what STRENGTH looks like!!! 🖤

25/01/2025

C L I E N T T E S T I M O N Y 🖤

Nikila Davis Counselling

28/01/2026

07/11/2025

08/10/2025

12/08/2025

08/07/2025

13/06/2025

07/05/2025

23/04/2025

18/03/2025

22/02/2025

07/02/2025

25/01/2025

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