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HAT'S MAMA, Portsmouth (2026)

28/06/2022

RIP Dame Deborah James

Never give up Warrior. Never.

❤️

06/05/2022

Before her recovery I remember watching Hatty go through all the NATURAL responses to fear when she was faced with eating (or drinking) something that her ED deemed to be unsafe or bad. The fight, flight, freeze responses are triggered by the brain in an effort to save us when in danger. Of course these responses, when it comes to eating food, are totally screwed up by the ED. Food is safe, it’s what will keep you alive. That’s why doing the opposite matters, because the opposite is TRUE.

Hat would often fight or flee but mostly she would freeze, and then the most important thing to do was to remind her brain that it was OK. Like the song says, to let go of the fear. So if I saw her, quiet and still and staring at the food SHE desperately wanted to eat, I would remind her to do just a few simple things to show her brain that she wasn’t in danger.

❤️ Breathe - 4 4 8 (in to count of 4, out to count of 4, hold for count of 8). Repeat about 6 times. The body responds by becoming calmer.
❤️ Repeat her key mantra over and over “I am Safe, All is well, I have nothing to fear’.
❤️ Remind herself, by looking at her recovery cards stuck all over the kitchen, that she was ALLOWED to eat, that all food is good food and that ED is a LIAR.
❤️ Play music and shake it off (literally).
❤️ And I used to hug her a lot. We like hugs. If you haven’t got anyone to hug close by, use a pillow or a cuddly. Give yourself comfort. 🥰

Let it go. Whatever it’s saying to you is not true. ❤️

17/04/2022

Hat used to receive beautiful colourful chocolate Easter Eggs from family and friends at Easter. And for YEARS she would look at them. And hide them away. Her ED wouldn’t let her even contemplate opening them let alone eating them. Even though she really really wanted to. But now it’s different. And she eats ALL the chocolate (not just at Easter) and that’s absolutely brilliant.

You can too. Recovery is worth it.

Don’t let your ED tell you that you can’t. There are no rules. Eat your chocolate Warrior and show it that you mean recovery business.

Happy Easter. Keep swimming. ❤️

06/04/2022

I’ve been watching and listening to the UK news channels today and trying hard not to get angry and frustrated at the new legislation that requires all menus to show the calorie values of dishes / foods being sold. There have been many voices speaking out on behalf of those suffering with ED’s for whom this whole thing is a potential nightmare but to no avail. Sadly this all just plays straight into ED’s hands. BUT Warrior, it doesn’t have to. Calories are NOT your enemy. They are your friend. There is no limit if you are trying to recover from a restrictive ED, so there is NO NEED to count and there is NO NEED to look.

Calories are energy. Energy you need to kick ED’s butt. Don’t forget that. ❤️

23/03/2022

It’s so easy to go down a deep rabbit hole of negative and destructive thinking, especially when it’s ED that is driving the thoughts that meet it’s cruel and manipulative agenda.

So when you feel yourself slipping down that slope of guilt, fear and restriction, remember that YOU can stop yourself doing so by consciously and deliberately challenging where those feelings are coming from. Because they will emanate from ED’s version of events and it LIES. It always lies.

That food or drink you had or want IS allowed. You CAN eat freely and abundantly. You CAN feel proud for doing so. You CAN eat more. And more. You DO deserve it. You CAN bEAT it.

Challenge those ED thoughts Warrior.

Think the opposite. Do the opposite. Do the opposite. Do the opposite. ❤️

20/02/2022

If you find yourself asking questions (of yourself or others) that are ED focused, such as:

😞 Should I miss this meal/snack?
😞 Do I have to compensate?
😞 Should I purge?
😞 Should I eat less because I ate more earlier?
😞 Do I have to buy the cheapest option?
😞 Do I have to eat the minimum amount?
😞 Shall I eat only at certain times?
😞 Should I restrict because I’m going out later?
😞 Shall I body check again?
😞 Do I weigh myself?
😞 Should I keep a record of every calorie I eat?
😞 Should I restrict?

The answer is always NO.

If your questions are recovery focused such as:

😊 Can I eat more?
😊 Shall I rest?
😊 Can I try different foods?
😊 Can I eat at any time?
😊 Can I allow myself to buy the things I like?
😊 Do I deserve to recover?
😊 Shall I eat this?
😊 Can I eat whatever I want?
😊 Can I forget calorie counting?
😊 Can I eat at night?
😊 Can I eat more than them?
😊 Can I eat freely?
😊 Can I bEAT this?

The answer is always YES.

Eat, Rest, Do the Opposite. ❤️

18/02/2022

Go the right way Warrior. ❤️

Sorry I say etc etc etc a lot 🙄

18/02/2022

I can’t sleep because the wind and rain are battering my bedroom window.

If you’re in the UK right now you are likely feeling the same.

It’s a day to stay indoors, snuggled under a blanket.

Eat. Rest. Do the opposite.

Stay safe. ❤️

18/02/2022

Yes. It is. It really really is.

Whilst you are spending every day and evening counting the calories in that tiny bag of dry chick peas your LIFE is passing you by.

Safe foods are your ED’s foods.

YOUR safe foods are ALL foods.

It’s safe to eat that chocolate cake. Or the burger and chips. Or the share bag of crisps. Or the butter. Or the cheese. Or the pizza. Or the curry. Or the pastry. Or the …. (insert anything you or your body desire).

It’s safe. You’re allowed.

I promise. ❤️

17/02/2022

That person who is an expert tightrope walker had to step out onto it one day for the first time. They would have watched others doing it, asked questions, maybe tentatively started before building confidence or maybe just grabbed the balance bar and stepped on and walked (albeit with a wobble from time to time). They would have needed reassurance from those that had already mastered it that it was possible, that it could be done, that it was scary but worth it, that holding your head up and taking step by step by step gets you to the other side.

And that’s what you need. Just like Hat did. Just like Leith did. Just like everyone does. Constant reassurance that recovery is possible, that it’s safe, that it can be done, that the wobbles are normal, that the fear can be overcome. That you can bEAT it.

That’s why you watch all the recovery videos, listen to the blogs and why you post your progress and questions - hoping someone will respond with ‘yes, that’s happening to me too’ or ‘yes, that’s what I did and it’s OK’.

It’s normal to seek constant reassurance my dear Warrior. Recovery is a scary business.

But SO worth it.

And that’s why I make these posts. ❤️

15/02/2022

It’s my birthday today. My sixty fifth birthday (!!) And I’m suddenly here somehow and reflecting back. I know Hat won’t mind me saying this but ED stole 16 years from me too, always present, always lingering threateningly, always watching and lying and trying to murder my precious Hat. Always fighting me because it knew I would never stop fighting it. They were years that still make me go cold with fear as the memories are almost too painful to recall.

So, instead, I’ll think about the years before ED, when she was happy, carefree, laughing and eating freely, running about like the free spirited soul she truly is. And I’ll think about now. Because she’s back.

I can’t tell you how much I hate ED. Yours too.

Please fight it Warrior. Don’t let it steal any more from you or those who love you.

The greatest gift I will ever have is seeing Hats smile today as she eats my birthday cake. ❤️

14/02/2022

And I’ll keep saying them. ❤️

HAT'S MAMA

28/06/2022

06/05/2022

17/04/2022

06/04/2022

23/03/2022

20/02/2022

18/02/2022

18/02/2022

18/02/2022

17/02/2022

15/02/2022

14/02/2022

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