Psychotherapy in Surrey

27/01/2026

Fitting In or Belonging?

Many of us learn that fitting in is about survival — getting through school, work, friendships, even family life. Young people often say fitting in means not being different, because being different can be hard, and sometimes unsafe.

But belonging feels different.

Belonging is not about changing who you are.
It’s about feeling safe enough to be yourself.
Belonging can grow in caring, compassionate environments — and sometimes we create those spaces slowly, intentionally, together.

For me, belonging feels like dancing with friends, laughing freely, enjoying the moment — not worrying about fitting in, just being present and alive. When I know myself and my safety needs, I can make choices that bring joy and connection.

Today, you might gently ask yourself:
✨ Where do I feel most like me?
✨ What helps me feel safe enough to be real?
✨ What does belonging mean to me?
Your journey towards belonging might be short or long — but it’s most likely worth it. 💛

29/12/2025

To my dear friend, and to anyone who finds life unbearably heavy right now.
When the weight on your shoulders feels too much to carry.
When loneliness feels like the only companion.
When the person who hurts you is also the only one you feel you have.

There are no words big enough for that pain. Only this: please hold on.

You never wanted to burden your children, your family, your friends.
You tried for far too long to manage everything on your own.
But you are not a burden.
You are not weak.
And you are not alone.

I am endlessly grateful for you, my beautiful friend.
Grateful to the medics who saved your life and protected your spirit.
You matter more than you know — to your children, to your friends, to so many of us who cherish you deeply.
I am so proud of you for accepting help. It is one of the bravest things a person can do.

There is hope.
There is light — even if right now it is just a small one.
And that small smile of yours is proof that you are still here, still fighting, still worthy of love and care.

To all women living with abuse or fear:
Please, please reach out. Life should not be lived in fear.
Support exists. Safety exists. You deserve both.

If you are in the UK and need support right now:

🆘 If you are in immediate danger, call 999

💬 Samaritans – 116 123
Free, 24/7 emotional support for anyone struggling

💬 Shout – Text 85258
24/7 crisis text support

💬 NHS 111 – for urgent mental health help

💜 National Domestic Abuse Helpline (Women’s Aid & Refuge)
📞 0808 2000 247 (24/7, free)
🌐 Live chat and information available
They can help with safety planning, refuge spaces, and emotional support

💜 Women’s Aid – support, information, and local services
You are not alone, even if it feels that way right now.

Please stay.
Please reach out.
Your life matters — more than you can see today.

27/12/2025

Some days feel light and open. Other days feel heavy and quiet.

During the festive season, emotions often rise in unexpected ways. Even when loving people are around us, loneliness, sadness, or overwhelm can still appear.

It is okay if this time is not about celebration for you. It is okay to need stillness, privacy, or space for tears. All feelings belong.

Psychotherapy offers a safe, steady space to pause, reflect, and meet your inner world with care. There is no pressure to feel better or be joyful. Only an invitation to notice, welcome, and gently accept what is present.

Change begins through acceptance.

If you feel ready to explore your experiences with support, I am here. 🌿

23/12/2025

Many of my clients grew up with a parent who drank too much alcohol – sometimes mum, sometimes dad, sometimes both.
The impact does not end in childhood. It can last a lifetime.

Alcohol is often normalised in society as something “everyone does,” yet stress levels and mental health difficulties continue to rise. The effect on partners and children is still rarely talked about or properly supported.

There is help – for those struggling with alcohol, for those living with high stress, and for those affected by a family member’s drinking, past or present.

Seeking help isn’t easy. It takes courage. But it is possible to take one step forward and discover that there are other options, support, and a way out of long-held patterns.

If this resonates with you and you feel ready, I am here to help.
Please get in touch to arrange a psychotherapy session a.mulier@psychotherapyinsurrey.co.uk

✨ Let 2026 be the year you start differently.

15/12/2025

Something to have in mind during this time of year. 🙃

28/11/2025

Honouring Grief's Natural Flow

Grief is not a problem to be solved,
it is pain that needs to be felt.
Sit with the ache,
the sorrow,
the quiet emptiness.

Beware of overthinking;
every tear,
every memory,
every “what if”
can build walls around the heart,
trapping the pain
instead of letting it flow.

Thought can guide,
give perspective,
offer insight,
but overthinking can cage the heart,
slow grief’s natural flow,
and keep healing at bay.

Balance is the key.
Let feelings speak,
they soften,
they carry,
they guide.
Let thoughts serve,
but do not let them dominate.

Healing blooms
in the space between thought and feeling,
where the heart carries sorrow
without being crushed
and the mind learns
to accept and release
without overthinking.

And in this balance,
we begin to live again.

~ 'Honouring Grief's Natural Flow' by Spirit of a Hippie

✍️ Mary Anne Byrne

~ Art by Olamik

22/11/2025

✨ Slowly making my way into a new day, grateful for the beauty it holds. May this Saturday open doors to joy, meaning, warmth, and love for us all. Wishing everyone a truly heart-filled day. 💛🌿✨

19/11/2025

So many of us—especially women and kind-hearted partners—learn to keep the peace by staying quiet. We avoid conflict, let things slide, and swallow our feelings just to keep relationships smooth. But over time, that silence becomes heavy.
When you finally say, “This doesn’t work for me,” some people may call you difficult—not because you’ve changed, but because you stopped making their comfort more important than your well-being.
Here’s the truth:
✨ Boundaries aren’t selfish.
✨ Boundaries aren’t rude.
✨ Boundaries are self-respect.
Healthy relationships grow from clarity, honesty, and limits that protect your emotional and mental health—not from endless tolerance.

Choosing yourself isn’t losing people; it’s losing the version of them that benefited from your silence.

Speak up. Stand firm.
Honour your feelings.

Your peace is worth protecting.
Your voice deserves to be heard.
You deserve relationships where both you and your boundaries are respected. 💛

18/11/2025

Every morning you open a new door.
A door into a new day, new choices, new emotions, new possibilities.

What sort of door have you chosen today?
Did you open it gently… or did it creak a little?
Was it easy to step through, or did you hesitate—wondering what might be on the other side?

This morning, our new kitten made her choice very clear. Not only did she pick her door, she climbed it. Apparently, some doors aren’t meant to be opened at all… just conquered from above. 😄

And honestly, therapy can be a bit like that.
Some sessions feel like opening a door into deeper understanding.
Others feel like analysing the hinges, repainting the frame, or discovering a secret passage you didn’t know existed.
And sometimes? We climb right over the whole thing and find ourselves laughing at the view from the top.

Psychotherapy can be deep, reflective, creative—and yes—a little fun, too.
Here’s to whatever door you choose today.

May it lead you somewhere gentle, meaningful, or unexpectedly joyful. 💛

11/11/2025

In our daily lives, we move constantly between two states — the doing mind and the being mind.
✨ The doing mind plans, solves, and pushes forward.
✨ The being mind softens, notices, and breathes.
We all slide up and down that scale without even realizing it. But something shifts when we start waking up the being mind on purpose — when we practice creating moments of quiet, grounded presence.

The more we build that inner stillness, the easier it becomes to meet whatever emotions arise — not by fixing them, but by allowing them, with gentleness and compassion.

Compassion isn’t a task or another thing to achieve — it’s a way of being with ourselves.

🌿 On Friday mornings, I have a couple of spaces open for new clients would like to explore peacefulness through Walk & Talk sessions or Creative Integrative Psychotherapy.
If you’d like to reconnect with that softer, more spacious part of yourself, I’d love to walk alongside you.

09/11/2025

You don’t have to be exhausted to rest.
Don’t feel guilty for slowing down. Resting before you reach burnout is the smart thing to do. If you see a quiet weekend or a lazy Sunday ahead, take it. You don’t owe anyone productivity all the time.

07/11/2025