18/02/2026
When we think about autism, the traits we often hear about tend to reflect how it presents in boys, because thatâs how itâs been studied and diagnosed for decades. But autism can look very different in girls.
Many parents say the same thing before pursuing an assessment with us:
âŞâSheâs doing well at school, the teacher says sheâs quiet but no trouble.â
âŞâSheâs just really sensitive.â
âŞâShe has friends, sheâs just a bit shy.â
In reality, autistic girls are often missed or misunderstood, because they may mask their traits, work incredibly hard to fit in, or show their distress in more internalised ways, like anxiety, perfectionism or low self esteem. Here are some commonly missed traits that may point to autism in girls:
- They become experts at copying others, mimicking how their peers speak, behave, or dress in order to blend in. They may seem socially âfineâ on the outside, but come home exhausted, overwhelmed or prone to meltdowns.
- They might become extremely upset when things donât go to plan or if they feel theyâve made a mistake. Even small changes to routine can feel enormous and upsetting.
- They may find the social dynamics confusing or draining. They might be included but not fully connected, or experience intense âall or nothingâ friendships.
- Trying to follow every rule, be the best student, and never cause problems can be a form of masking. This might look like being a âmodel childâ at school but falling apart at home.
So many girls go undiagnosed or are misdiagnosed with anxiety, depression, or personality disorders. Us recognising these less obvious signs can be the first step toward understanding and the right support, for both the child and you.
So, if something doesnât feel quite right, trust your instincts. You donât need to wait for a teacher to raise concerns before you explore further.
At the Autism & ADHD Service, we specialise in understanding how autism shows up differently in girls and women and we offer assessments and support designed with that in mind.
đ Call 01843 663116 to talk things through or to book an assessment.