24/11/2025
💞💞💞SELF LOVE 💞💞💞
Something I’ve learned over the years as a therapist is that most of us haven’t got a scooby doo about what self love is! Much less how to practice it!!
As the below quote says:
Self love is prioritising our own emotions and wellbeing over trying to please others.
This is not the same as thinking we are more important than everyone else. This is about recognising our own worth as being at least equal to everyone else! And not harming ourselves in the pursuit of keeping others happy.
Easy, right!?!
Erm…no, actually. 🙈
Lots of us fall into the trap of prioritising other people’s happiness over our own. Somehow we’ve been led by society and popular culture to believe that putting our own needs first is selfish! Heaven forbid we say no to someone else’s demands and listen to our own gut instincts about what feels right for us!
Have you ever found yourself agreeing to something but your insides are screaming at you ‘nooooooo’? 😱
Agreed to take an extra task on at work when you already know you don’t have the capacity? 🤯
Said yes to a night out that you really don’t want to attend, but worried about letting others down? 🥺
Too often we downplay our own feelings and needs and twist ourselves in knots like a pretzel to please others, and there can me many reasons for this. 🥨
Perhaps this is how we survived childhood. Maybe the only way to keep ourselves emotionally or even physically safe was to put others before ourselves.
But this all comes at a hefty cost. It turns us into perpetual people pleasers and eventually we burnout. 😵💫
Along the way, we lose sight of ourselves. We become an unrecognisable version of who we really are and end up prioritising everyone else to our own detriment.
An important step in the healing process is to start to see ourselves as worthy of prioritising. To know that it’s absolutely fine to say no to things we don’t wish to do, and to listen to our own needs. 🥰
To see ourselves as worthy of having valid feelings and opinions even if they are different to those around us.
People pleasing is something that many of us struggle with but if you’d like some help and support to learn how to love and value yourself, reach out, I’m ready to support you.
You were not put on the earth to please everyone else - you are here to live your life, your way.
Get in touch today.
💻 www.therapywithjanine.co.uk
📧 hello@therapywithjanine.co.uk
