Deborah Winyard Hypnotherapy

28/07/2023

My door is still open. I'm just taking a break from facebook posts for a while.....

29/05/2023

Like a lot of people I have a few well-worn phrases I churn out often and one of my favourites has always been “I just can’t see the wood for the trees”.

When we’re in “Can’t see the wood” mode it means we’re so busy looking at the detail of something that we’re missing the bigger picture, to our detriment.

But I also love that the vagaries of the English language can turn this phrase on its head.

"Can’t see the wood for the trees" could mean the exact opposite, noticing the trees without appreciating the wood they’re made from. The detail on the trunks of the trees and all the intricate life that lives together within the wood. All the little things that go into ensuring the woodland is healthy.

And in a similar way, it’s curious that in order to see our way through a problem it can sometimes be useful to try zooming in, if zooming out isn’t working for us.

Sometimes when we look at the little things, the detail, we notice that some small things are starting to change for the better, that we’re doing things slightly differently and are already making progress.

And when we realise that lots of small changes really do add up then that can be really, really helpful for us to notice.

P.S. Photo taken in Redhatch Copse, near the tyre swing, have you had a go on the swing yet?

15/05/2023

As we grow up we are hopefully taught right from wrong. We then start to apply the rules we’ve learnt. At school we might tell on our classmates for any minor transgression of the school rules (I’m really glad I’m not a primary school teacher), it’s only later that we learn that things are not always black and white, there are plenty of shades of grey.

I am a cycling fan and this is one of my favourite reads. David Miller was a talented British Cyclist who followed his dream and became a Tour de France rider.

His story really demonstrates how things can seem clear cut from then outside but be very much not when you’re in the midst of something.

Before reading this I never, ever understood how anyone who loved their sport could dope to get an advantage. I used to shout at the TV every time a new doping scandal was uncovered. After reading it I understood how environment, lack of mentorship and leadership, naivety, talent, money, injury, over demanding schedules and reward structures all have the potential to lead even a fervent anti-doper to dope.

In David Millar’s case after his fall from grace he rose magnificently from the ashes. Unlike many before him, as soon as he was arrested he immediately admitted what he’d done and started telling his story so he could improve the chances of other young riders taking a different path to the one he found himself on.

This book served as a powerful reminder to me that before we judge others, or ourselves, by our own high standards it’s worth considering if there’s anything we haven’t yet taken account of.

08/05/2023

Not many people associate hoovers with getting fit, but studies show it may be wise to adjust our thinking a little.

Whilst many of us are already convinced of the mind-body connection, what you think can affect your physical health, research continue to find ways we can use this knowledge to our advantage in our every day lives.

There was even a study focused on cleaners, showing that if you point out to cleaners just how much physical exercise they are doing during their shifts, then over the next few months those cleaners became fitter and lose more weight compared to a similar group of cleaners who didn’t receive this information.

Of course we might think some of the cleaners, realizing they were being monitored, may have sneaked in some extra exercise (after all who doesn’t try that little bit harder if we think we’re being watched 😉?). But that idea was discounted by electronic monitoring of the cleaners’ daily movements during the study.

So whilst we’re unlikely ever to see a line of hoovers alongside the rows of treadmills in our local gym, it’s well worth noting all the various times during the day when we are in fact exercising, not just those times when we’ve swiped into the gym 😊

P.S. Does anyone else have a hoover quite as old as ours? I actually saw one like ours in ‘The Museum of the Home’ in London recently!

25/04/2023

It's a long while since I last wrote a blog post. Client work has kept me away from my website duties.

I've had this one in mind for a while now. Finally got it down on paper so to speak. See what you think.

By the time we become adults we’ve already absorbed many different messages about the world around us. Those messages may reinforce ideas such as change is difficult and that any efforts we make may b

24/04/2023

05/04/2023

Sometimes it can be helpful to find an alternative way to look at things.

A quarter of the way through 2023 already. Or three quarters still to enjoy.

02/04/2023

I bought this photo when on holiday on the Isles of Scilly last summer and although it came with the artist’s explanation of what she sees in the photo and the significance of the different elements in it, I bought it because I loved it as soon as I saw it.

And since I have got it home, apart from the usual problem of “finding time” to actually fix it to the wall (7 months and counting 😉.....) I still love it.

I was actually pretty decisive about buying the photo. It was a subconscious decision, followed briefly by a conscious check to ensure the price would not break the bank and then that was it, purchase made.

In fact I might just have nailed this particular decision. Not because I unwittingly bought a masterpiece worth millions, but because the way I made the decision stacked the odds in my favour that I wouldn’t later suffer buyer’s regret.

And that’s because choosing a piece of art is a highly subjective process and that process is not served well by our logical, conscious thinking brains getting involved.

Studies have shown that if people are presented with different paintings and asked to choose one to take home, their ongoing satisfaction with their choice is reduced if rather than just choosing the picture they are drawn to they are asked to also explain why they like it. That’s because the “Why?” question brings in the logical thinking part of our brain, and we start evaluating pros and cons objectively which detracts from the decision.

So I’m really, really glad I visited the gallery alone and didn’t have the rest of my family with me when I first saw the picture. Just in case any of them had been tempted to ask the dreaded “ “Why?” question.......

19/03/2023

It was bedtime and I was watching a friend encouraging his son to go to his room. The son was resisting, the temperature was rising and the “negotiations” were getting more and more fraught.

My friend abruptly stood up and with an exasperated look suddenly said “OK! shall we just by-pass this bit and go straight to the shouting part?!!!”.

There was an initial silence.

The son looked at him quizzically……. and then just grinned and things then changed tack and he went to bed with his book to read.

At that point they both realized they’d been going round and round, playing out the same, non-productive roles they were used to playing at this time of day. Suddenly, with that realization, the spell was broken and things changed.

They no longer had tunnelled vision, tunnelled thoughts and tunnelled feelings that led only one way. They were now able to put the situation into context and deal with it a different way. They saw more choices.

They’d gained new perspective which sent them off in a different, more productive direction for both of them.

And it wasn’t just them. Since then any time I have felt myself to be on a similar path in my own house at around the same time of an evening….. I can’t help but hear my friend’s voice and I too grin and take a different tack.

Thanks Phil!

27/02/2023

This is my daughter’s swimming hat from when she was younger.

She chose it because it was fun and pink and pink was then her favourite colour. Things have moved on and her latest hat is dark blue and plain but her love of swimming has stayed with her.

One year we were on holiday and getting ready to go down the pub for our evening meal. It was tipping it down outside and having no car we were walking to the pub.

She disappears into her room and comes out and tells us "I'm ready", and when I turn round there she is wearing this swimming hat.

Suppressing a smile I say “off we go then” and we start our journey. She’s skipping ahead, splashing through the puddles and when we arrive at the pub her hair is of course completely dry.

How clever! But only possible because at that age she had no need to be reminded to “Dance like nobody’s watching”. She didn’t need to be reminded, it hadn’t yet occurred to her there was any other way.