Sue Dearman Celebrant

05/12/2025

This week is National Grief Awareness Week.

Everyone’s loss is individual and different, and grief is different for everyone. For some it can turn quickly into acceptance, for others it lasts a lifetime.

How we grieve is affected by many things, our relationship with that person, our own nature and a whole host of other things.

One thing that bereavement therapists know is that grief can be exacerbated by how we get to say goodbye to someone. With direct/unattended cremations becoming more popular, people are finding that not being able to have a service where they can commemorate and celebrate someones’s life often prolongs their grief.

During COVID many people were buried or cremated with only immediate family (even then some may have been left out due to numbers permitted) this meant that wider family, friends and work colleagues could not say goodbye. For many this means they are not able to resolve their grief.

If this is your experience, why not use grief awareness week to do something about the way you feel. Consider organising a get together with others, celebrate the life of the person you all lost. Play their favourite music, read a poem, sing together, anything goes. A funeral isn’t the only thing available to you, a memorial or remembrance is also a lovely way to say goodbye.

Sue Dearman Funeral Celebrant
07824637174
suedearmancelebrant@gmail.com
www.suedearmancelebrant.com

21/11/2025

This week is Children's Grief Awareness week.

46,300 children in the UK under 18 become bereaved of a parent each year. That is 127 children per day. Yet as a society we don't talk about death and often when we have to explain death to children we shy away from it, hide it from them and think that we are protecting them.

Those involved with bereavement awareness, along with any child that has ever lost a parent, will tell you that this just adds to a child's grief and bewilderment.

There are lots of resources out there to help schools and organisations raise awareness of this issue, as well as lots of groups that help children who have been bereaved - I have popped some links below.

I am also pleased to say that due to some amazing work by Funeral Director and campaigner John Adams and his colleagues, Grief education will be part of schools' national curriculum from next year.

If you know a family or child that may need help right now please do direct them to the links or reach out to me if you need some direction.

https://nelsonsjourney.org.uk
https://www.childbereavementuk.org
https://childhoodbereavementnetwork.org.uk/childrens-grief-awareness-week-2025-resources
https://winstonswish.org
https://stnicholashospice.org.uk/how-can-we-help/getting-help/counselling-and-emotional-support/living-with-bereavement/nickys-way-support-for-children/https://www.susanwhymark.co.uk/children-bereavement/
https://rosedalefuneralhome.co.uk/rosedale-news/bereaved-children/

20/11/2025

The next meeting of The Rainbow Tree is on Saturday 29th November 10 til 12 at Roydon Village Hall. Open to all children who have been affected by a significant loss.
Activities at this meeting include cooking and decorating gingerbread men and Christmas card making.
If you know a child who would benefit from this group, please get in touch via email at rainbowtreehelp@gmail.com

18/11/2025

A month ago I visited The Coffin Works in Birmingham. This was Newman Bros coffin furniture factory until the 1980s and made all manner of items for placing on and in coffins. They even supplied to the royal family.

It was a most fascinating visit to this historic building that is suspended in time and looks almost as it did when it closed, with rows and rows of handles and thumbscrews still on the shelves.

The volunteer staff are amazing and full of enthusiasm to share what they know. Do go along if you get the chance!

14/11/2025

💭 As human beings most of us are good at planning. We plan for our holidays, weddings, house moves, school uniforms, meals, birthdays, even what we shall watch on TV. From large events to everyday tasks, we plan. Yet most of us are reluctant to plan for what will happen when we die.

🖤 Death is not something we like to think about, even though ALL of us will die. Death is a painful thing, as in it mostly causes painful grief to those of us who lose someone. It can be painful because of the nature of someone’s passing and it can be painful because we know someone is going to die — especially so if we ourselves have to face our own mortality.

🌅 However, some comfort and indeed joy can be captured by planning what will happen once we or our loved one has gone. Planning for a funeral or memorial can be empowering — imagine being able to plan everything and tell those around you — ‘this is how it will be’.

🕊️ Planning in advance takes the stress out of the situation for those left behind at a time when they should be able to concentrate on their own grief. Planning isn’t necessarily about going to a Funeral Director and paying for a funeral in advance (although it can be that); it is about telling people what you want.

📋 Do you want a cremation or a burial? What music (if any) would you like? Do you want a eulogy/tribute or would you prefer a reading? Do you want your funeral to be a celebration of life and held in your favourite pub instead of in a chapel? Would you like it to be themed because you loved Star Wars? Does everyone have to wear a Canaries scarf (sorry Tractor Boys)? The options are limitless.

🌟 One of the things about a modern funeral is that it can be anything you like — if you are unsure what is available, then speak to a Funeral Celebrant — they can give you lots of ideas and tell you what is possible. They will also recommend the best Funeral Director for you and your family. Even if you want a DIRECT CREMATION, please remember that your local Funeral Director can also do that for you for a similar, if not the same, price as a faceless company.

❤️ Please plan now, take control of your goodbye and take the stress from your loved ones.

https://www.suedearmancelebrant.com

12/11/2025

Katie is passionate about death education. What she doesn’t know isn’t worth knowing. And what she does know is worth sharing 👇

There are so many myths about death, dying, and funerals and so many things we simply don’t know. These six things below are just some of the topics I often cover but that I have also covered in the last few days alone, and it’s only Wednesday!

🫶🏼 You can keep someone at home after they’ve died.
If a person dies at home, you don’t have to rush to call a funeral director. You can take your time, sit with them, wash or dress them if you wish, and say goodbye in your own way.

⚰️ You don’t have to use a coffin - a shroud is absolutely legal too and often more eco friendly. If you do want a coffin, it can be made from all sorts; cardboard, willow, wool, bamboo, or reclaimed wood.

🥂 You don’t have to have a traditional, formal funeral.
Some people choose a direct cremation, a home farewell, or a quiet moment with loved ones instead. There’s no law saying you must have a service. But it’s worth thinking about that fact that ritual and ceremony are very important to our grief.

🎩 You don’t have to use a funeral director. Families can handle everything themselves - from paperwork to transport - though many choose to have professional support. And also in the UK, we often have to wait weeks so another reason a Funeral Director can be helpful.

🌳 You can be buried in your back garden/private land. With the land owners permission, it’s absolutely possible.

🕉️ You can mix faith, culture, and creativity. Saying goodbye can look and feel however you want. You can have a blend of traditions, rituals, faith, food, laughter, and music if you wanted. You could have a priest and a Celebrant if that’s appropriate for your person.

The more we understand, the more choice we have and the more personal, fitting, respectful and appropriate our goodbyes can be ❤️

07/11/2025

Let's talk about Direct Cremations/Unattended Cremations. I am a Funeral Celebrant and how people are honoured at the end of their life matters to me and I hope it matters to you.

Everywhere we look now there seem to be advertisements for direct cremations, sometimes called unattended cremation. They come with the promise of a cheap or inexpensive funeral. Great, who doesn't like to save money? In fact, some people don't want a funeral at all and a direct cremation might feel like the answer for that person. But do you really understand what a direct cremation is, or what that company will offer? If you want to know more about this please read on.

A direct cremation means there is no service, no words are spoken and no one can attend that funeral. This can be hard for family and friends who would like an opportunity to honour and celebrate the life of the person they have lost. But there are other ways to fulfil that desire in the form of a memorial or ash scattering. What is more concerning is that people often don't realise that a direct cremation company does not offer the same service as the local funeral director, despite the fact that your friendly funeral home can also offer a direct cremation with those
lower costs.

Your local funeral director will talk through all the options available to you with a direct or unattended cremation. They will get to know you personally. They will keep you informed of what is happening with your loved one and they will take care of that person as though they are their own family. Respect, dignity and caring are vital at a time of loss.

Direct cremation companies are large corporations who collect your loved one and take them to a storage facility. They are then cremated at a crematorium that is likely a long way from you and usually you will not know where or when they will be cremated. The person who has died is just a name and number on a sheet of paper.

If you want to know more about direct cremation and my recommendations of the best local funeral directors don't hesitate to reach out - I am passionate about people, I don't charge for advice.

www.suedearmancelebrant.com
suedearmancelebrant@gmail.com
07824 637174

31/10/2025

As a society we don't like talking about death. But that often means we miss out on creating a comforting and fitting farewell for a loved one, or indeed ourselves.

If you would like to talk about this please do contact me, details at the end of the video.

If you don't want or funeral, or indeed your loved one didn't have a funeral, then I can also help with Memorials or Ash Scatterings.

Bring peace and comfort to you and your loved ones.

30/10/2025

A Celebrants' Gathering which took place on 18th October was an amazing day of learning, friendship and inspiration.

We thank our Partners and Sponsors for helping us make the day possible Obitus, Memorial Print Westerleigh Group and Made in Matlock. Malmaison Birmingham for taking such good care of us.

Thank you to on Instagram for the reel.
Available through Becca Pountney - Wedding business consultant and speaker

28/10/2025

As Celebrants we need to provide a good service for EVERYONE whether that is a wedding, a funeral, or any other type of commemorative or celebratory event.

Most of us already provide services regardless of who someone is, we are a generous and open-minded bunch - we love and embrace diversity. But are we always recognising the less obvious differences - neuro-divergencies, visual complications such as dyslexia or cognitive stresses such as dementia?

We were all made more aware of these issues, and many others that may compromise our couples and families, at A Celebrants' Gathering on 18th October during a talk by Michelle Taylor.

Michelle highlighted lots of potential problems for us and our clients and all the ways we might mitigate those issues, from fonts for those dealing with dyslexia, to how to accommodate cultural differences to understanding dementia.

It was such an insight to the things we might be missing as Celebrants and I have already taken an online course from Alzheimers.org.uk so that I am more dementia aware. I hope you will too.

Thank you Michelle for your brilliant and informative talk.

26/10/2025

As Celebrants we are often the most visible thing at a funeral - after the coffin. We don't want to be, but that is a fact. Everyone is looking at us to deliver the perfect ceremony for their person. But without the people in the background that you don't see, we would not be able to do our jobs.

Some of those people are the chapel attendants that make sure the music is ready and played at the correct moment. That music is provided by Obitus. Obitus now provide the vast majority of funeral venues with the music for services and they have an amazing number of tracks available for use.

To tell us more about what Obitus provide Janeen Key and her colleague Katie came along to A Celebrants' Gathering on Saturday 10th October. Obitus also provide a vast array of memorial items such as books, dvds and video books for loved ones to treasure.

We also heard about a new portable device that Obitus and their sister department Vivedia have developed. This means that music can be provided in almost any environment.

Thank you to Janeen and Katie for giving up their Saturday to come along and talk to us. Do go to their webpage for more information

https://www2.obitus.com/our-services/tributes
https://www.vivedia.net/
Key Occasions Celebrant

25/10/2025

can’t believe it’s been a week since A Celebrants’ Gathering!

What a day we had, loads of information to take in, I know I learnt a lot. Here is Katie Costello - Soul Midwife and Funeral Celebrant talking to us about how we make meaningful ceremonies for people. How to engage people with the idea of death and dying so we might talk about it while our loved ones ares still here with us. As she quoted ‘talking about s*x won’t make you pregnant and talking about death won’t make you die’. Yet talking about death is still taboo.

Katie has a podcast which I urge you to listen to https://open.spotify.com/episode/6XbjCB57i2rQWUlIMZD6Nj?si=MgSDwF-FT8qvXOheCug0vQ

And she has a training programme that can be accessed here https://www.katiecsoulmidwife.com/dyingforacuppa