Counselling First

Counselling First A safe place to explore your concerns. We are qualified therapists/ traumatologists and online counselling and supervision. EMDR available

We are a team of 3 therapists all specialising in trauma.

Here's the thing – you don't have to make goals for 2026 if you don't want to. And that's completely okay.We're so condi...
29/12/2025

Here's the thing – you don't have to make goals for 2026 if you don't want to. And that's completely okay.

We're so conditioned to use the new year as this reset button, this moment where we're supposed to suddenly transform into a different version of ourselves. But what if what you actually need is permission to just... not do that?

What if instead of forcing yourself into goals that don't feel right, you simply did what you *want* to do? What genuinely lights you up? What feels aligned with who you actually are, not who you think you should be?

That's the real work. Not the resolutions. The freedom to choose what matters to *you*.

So if you're feeling the pressure to set goals right now – take a breath. You get to decide. And if what you decide is to skip the whole thing and just live? That's wisdom, not laziness. 💙

The holidays can be really tough on your mental health. And I want you to know that if you're struggling right now, you'...
25/12/2025

The holidays can be really tough on your mental health. And I want you to know that if you're struggling right now, you're not alone.

After nearly 20 years of working with clients, I've seen how the pressure to feel "merry and bright" can actually make things worse. The expectation that Christmas should be perfect, joyful, and stress-free? It's unrealistic. And it's exhausting.

Here's what I've learned:

Your feelings are valid—all of them. Grief, exhaustion, anxiety, loneliness. You don't have to force happiness.

Boundaries are your friend. It's okay to skip the party, keep things low-key, or say no to traditions that don't serve you anymore.

Rest is productive. Your body and mind need downtime, especially in winter. That's not laziness—that's self-care.

Small moments matter. A warm drink. A walk outside. Time with people who get you. These little things can carry you through.

If you're struggling, reaching out for support—whether that's talking to a friend, family member, or a therapist—is a sign of strength, not weakness.

You deserve to move through this season with compassion for yourself. Not perfection. Just kindness.

If you'd like to talk about what you're experiencing, I'm here. Therapy isn't just for crisis—it's for living better, even during the hard seasons.

Take care of yourself. 💙

What Actually Helps When Christmas and Depression CollideIf you're struggling this Christmas, here's what research and e...
21/12/2025

What Actually Helps When Christmas and Depression Collide

If you're struggling this Christmas, here's what research and experience tell us actually helps:

**Small wins matter:** Getting out of bed, having a shower, eating something – these aren't nothing. They're everything.

**Connection over perfection:** A text to one person beats attending a party where you feel alone. Quality over quantity, always.

**Your pace is the right pace:** Some people thrive with activity. Others need quiet. Neither is wrong. Honor what you need.

**Therapy works:** If you've been thinking about reaching out for support, this is a good time. You don't have to white-knuckle through this alone.

**Self-compassion is radical:** You're not failing because you're depressed. You're surviving. That's enough.

If you're struggling, please reach out – to a friend, family member, or professional. You deserve support. 💙

Christmas when you're struggling with depression can feel like you're supposed to be jolly while everything inside feels...
17/12/2025

Christmas when you're struggling with depression can feel like you're supposed to be jolly while everything inside feels heavy. That's completely valid.

Here's the truth: you don't have to perform happiness. You don't have to attend every party, smile through every moment, or pretend everything's fine.

Some practical ways to get through:
✓ Set boundaries – say no to events that drain you
✓ Have an exit plan – it's okay to leave early
✓ Create quiet moments – even 10 minutes alone helps
✓ Reach out to one trusted person
✓ Be gentle with yourself – depression is real, and it's not your fault

If you're struggling, please reach out. You don't have to do this alone. 💙

Not all trauma looks the same. Many people think trauma means a single, dramatic event. In reality, it can be a slow bui...
08/12/2025

Not all trauma looks the same.

Many people think trauma means a single, dramatic event. In reality, it can be a slow build-up of stress, loss, or difficult experiences over time. The effects are real, even if they’re invisible to others.

You’re not alone if you’re struggling to make sense of your feelings. There are evidence-based therapies—like EMDR and Alpha Stims—that help you process trauma gently and safely, at your pace.

Curious about how trauma therapy really works? Reach out for a confidential chat or visit our website to learn more.

Healing from trauma is truly possible.Many believe trauma is a life sentence. In reality, your brain and body can recove...
05/12/2025

Healing from trauma is truly possible.

Many believe trauma is a life sentence. In reality, your brain and body can recover with the right support. Evidence-based therapies like EMDR and Alpha Stims are transforming lives every day.

Curious about how trauma therapy works, or unsure if it’s for you? Let’s talk. Your questions are always welcome.

Ready to explore your next step? Visit counsellingfirst.com or message me directly for a confidential chat.

PTSD is more common than you think.Many people believe trauma is a life sentence. In reality, evidence-based therapies l...
03/12/2025

PTSD is more common than you think.

Many people believe trauma is a life sentence. In reality, evidence-based therapies like EMDR and Alpha Stims can help the brain heal, even after years of pain. Recovery is possible, and you don’t have to do it alone.

Curious about how trauma therapy works? Let’s talk. Your journey to healing can start today.

Does PTSD get worse with age? It's a question many of my clients ask, and the answer is nuanced. While some people find ...
22/11/2025

Does PTSD get worse with age? It's a question many of my clients ask, and the answer is nuanced. While some people find that unprocessed trauma becomes more noticeable as they get older, PTSD doesn't have to define your later years. With the right support and evidence-based therapy like EMDR, healing is absolutely possible at any age. If you're struggling with trauma from your past, you don't have to carry it alone. Let's work together to help you find peace and move forward. 💙 Ready to start your healing journey? Get in touch for a initial consultation.

Does PTSD Get Worse with Age?It's a question I hear often from clients: "Will my trauma symptoms get worse as I get olde...
15/11/2025

Does PTSD Get Worse with Age?

It's a question I hear often from clients: "Will my trauma symptoms get worse as I get older?"

The short answer? Not necessarily – and here's what the research actually shows.

PTSD doesn't automatically worsen with age. What *can* change is how it shows up. Some people find their symptoms actually improve over time, especially with proper support and evidence-based treatment like EMDR. Others may experience shifts in how trauma affects them – maybe physical symptoms become more noticeable, or emotional triggers feel different.

What matters most isn't your age – it's getting the right help. Trauma that's been untreated for years can feel heavier, yes. But that's not because of age itself; it's because the wound has had time to deepen without healing.

The good news? It's never too late. I've worked with clients in their 70s and 80s who've experienced profound healing from trauma they've carried for decades. Age isn't a barrier to recovery – it's just part of your story.

If you're wondering whether your PTSD might worsen, or you're ready to explore healing at any age, let's talk. Recovery is possible, whatever stage of life you're in.

📞 Book a consultation today – flexible online and in-person options available.

Myth: "Only big events count as trauma" ❌Truth: Trauma isn't about size—it's about impact. Your nervous system doesn't c...
12/11/2025

Myth: "Only big events count as trauma" ❌

Truth: Trauma isn't about size—it's about impact. Your nervous system doesn't compare. A "small" event can absolutely create a trauma response if it overwhelmed you at the time. Repeated criticism, feeling unsupported, witnessing something distressing—these all count. If it affected you deeply, it matters. You deserve support. 💙

Freud’s Defence Mechanisms Series: Regression.Ever caught yourself reaching for old comforts during stress, like a child...
12/11/2025

Freud’s Defence Mechanisms Series: Regression.

Ever caught yourself reaching for old comforts during stress, like a childhood snack or favourite book? That’s regression—returning to familiar habits when life feels overwhelming. It’s a gentle way our minds try to find safety, even well into adulthood.

When do you notice yourself “going back” to old comforts and how do they help?

PTSD isn’t a life sentence—healing happens.Many people believe trauma is something you just ‘live with’. In reality, evi...
12/11/2025

PTSD isn’t a life sentence—healing happens.

Many people believe trauma is something you just ‘live with’. In reality, evidence-based therapies like EMDR can help your brain process trauma and find relief. You don’t have to face it alone, and recovery is possible at any age.

Curious about how trauma therapy works, or if it’s right for you? Visit counsellingfirst.com to learn more about our gentle, personalised approach. 🦋

Take the first step—your story isn’t over.

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Romford
RM53EL

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