10/11/2025
How Setting Boundaries Creates Space for True Connection
The word "boundary" can sometimes sound cold or restrictive, right? We often associate it with rejection or shutting people out.
But as a counsellor at With You In Mind Counselling in Rustington, I see the opposite: healthy boundaries are the foundation of genuine, deep connection. They don't push people away; they create the necessary space for meaningful, honest relationships to flourish.
Many of us were raised to believe saying 'no' is selfish—leading us straight into the "Obligation Trap." When you constantly say 'yes' out of obligation or fear, two damaging things happen:
Resentment Builds: You feel drained and angry, which silently poisons the relationship.
Connection is Shallow: The other person is connecting with a 'role' or an expectation, not your authentic self.
A boundary is simply a statement of your needs and limits. It clarifies what you are, and are not, responsible for.
Think of it this way: when you set a boundary and protect your energy and time, that saved energy becomes available to give genuinely. When you are truly present and willingly engaged (an "Authentic Yes"), that is when true connection happens. The other person feels respected because they are engaging with you, not a reluctant performance.
Setting boundaries is an act of self-respect, not an act of war.
If saying 'no' feels terrifying, or if you're struggling to define the edges of you, counselling can provide invaluable support. We can explore those deep-seated fears of abandonment and help you practise the language of calm, clear self-expression.
Ready to build more respectful, sustainable, and authentic connections in your life?
Find us in Rustington and serving the surrounding areas for local counselling support.
