24/01/2026
The Anger Family
Emotions: anger, irritation, frustration, resentment, bitterness, rage, fury, indignation, hostility, contempt, impatience, agitation, annoyance, outrage, defensiveness
Anger is often misunderstood because we are taught to fear its heat rather than listen to its intelligence. But anger does not rise without reason. It arrives the moment something inside you senses that a line has been crossed, that your truth has been nudged aside, or that safety has quietly slipped out of reach. Anger helps us notice wounds that need healing and care. It shows us where we have been silenced, or asked to endure what we never should have had to carry. Anger is the moment the body says, this matters, and refuses to look away.
In the body, anger is unmistakable. It gathers in the jaw where words were swallowed, in the neck and shoulders where responsibility was carried alone, and in the upper back where vigilance became posture. The nervous system mobilizes, flooding the body with adrenaline and noradrenaline, priming muscles for action that never quite arrives. Cortisol lingers, sustaining readiness long past the moment it was needed. Our fascia thickens and grows reactive, holding heat and pressure that clients often describe as buzzing or tightness.
Psychotherapist Karla McLaren describes anger as the Honorable Sentry, and the body understands this instinctively. Anger walks the perimeter of your inner world, guarding your values, your voice, and your sense of self. When boundaries are crossed, anger rises to say, this is not okay! Not to destroy, but to protect. This is why anger so often lives close to love. It appears because you care deeply about something or someone, because a connection or value matters enough to defend. In this way, anger is not the opposite of compassion; it is compassion sharpened into action.
When anger has nowhere to go, it turns inward. Energy meant to move becomes tension meant to hold. Over time, this can contribute to chronic pain patterns, jaw dysfunction, headaches, digestive disturbance, and a nervous system that never fully settles. Many people learn to stay calm at all costs, carrying resentment quietly until it fuses into their posture. Others apologize for their anger before it ever has a chance to speak. In both cases, the body is doing the same thing: holding energy that was meant to move.
Receiving bodywork offers anger a safer pathway. Our role is not to suppress it or provoke it, but to give it room to breathe. Work often begins by restoring the exhale, allowing the nervous system to discharge excess activation and find rhythm again. Grounded contact through the pelvis and legs reminds the body it has somewhere to send this energy. Gentle myofascial work through the jaw, shoulders, lateral lines, and abdominal wall invites tension to soften without demanding release. As anger begins to move, it may arrive as heat, trembling, deep sighs, or sudden emotion. These are not problems to fix; they are completions.
Anger is also a messenger. Beneath it often live more vulnerable truths: grief that was never witnessed, fear that needed protection, and shame that learned to hide. When anger is met with respect, it leads us toward these deeper layers, revealing unmet needs and unspoken boundaries. This is where the real healing begins, not by getting rid of anger, but by letting it do its job fully and then giving it time to rest.
Anger is not something that eats us alive unless we abandon it. When honored, it becomes fuel for change, courage to stand, and clarity to choose differently. It is energy in motion, meant to transform stagnation into direction. When the body is allowed to feel anger without punishment or fear, something remarkable happens. The heat cools, and the tension softens. Strength remains, no longer bound in bracing, but available as grounded power.
If anger has found its way into your body, let this land gently. You are not failing at being calm or kind; your body is stepping forward like a loyal friend, speaking up for you when something needs care, protection, or truth. And when anger is given room to be heard, it often becomes a powerful ally rather than a burden.
* Thank you to everyone who shared the emotions you wanted to explore more deeply. Your responses helped me gather them into families and truly sink into the lived experience of each one, not just naming the emotion, but listening to what it asks of the body. As a thank-you, I’m sharing a first draft from the Emotion section of Becoming a Body Artisan, with your voices and experiences woven into its heart. ❤️🩹
