25/02/2026
If we grow up feeling that we need to look after others, we can also believe that we are responsible for how they feel. However what we are actually responsible for is not someone else’s feelings but our own behaviour. We are responsible for understanding and communicating our needs and limits in relationship and then taking action to make sure they're reliably met.
To enable a healthy dynamic within a relationship, we have to be willing to let other people see us.
Connecting from a place of authenticity means we don't try to control the outcome. Instead, we allow the other person the space to have their own genuine response to our truth. This, in turn, allows you to see more of them too.
If we always try to understand in advance how someone might feel about something and avoid anything that might make them uncomfortable, we are taking on too much responsibility in that relationship. Trying to actively control the outcome in this way is an old pattern that usually comes from a place of self-protection but it is not beneficial for you or them.
Learning to let other people be who they are involves developing trust in your adult self, learning to process uncomfortable feelings and advocate for yourself as needed.
If you feel you would like to work on feeling safe to be be authentically you, please feel free to get in touch via my website ⚓️: www.anchor-counselling.co.uk
Or email me at ⚓️: jeni@anchor-counselling.co.uk
