19/02/2026
One of the things Iāve learned through my own perimenopause journey is this:
Just because someone else didnāt struggleā¦
doesnāt mean your experience should be minimised.
For years I ājust got on with thingsā in many areas of my life ā until my body gently (and sometimes not so gently) reminded me that pushing through isnāt always the answer.
Menopause shows up differently for each of us.
Biology, health conditions, stress, life circumstances, past experiences, support systems ā they all play a part.
Some women barely notice the shift.
Some feel it deeply.
Some move between the two.
There is no gold standard way to experience menopause.
Only your way.
And whatever that looks like ā itās valid. š¤
Have you ever felt your experience was dismissed or minimised?
If you feel comfortable, Iād love you to share. Sometimes simply being heard is the beginning of things changing. šæ
Mine Is Not My Motherās Menopause
One of the most important things we need to understand about menopause is this: we do not all experience it in the same way.
Menopause does not arrive at a fixed age or in a single way. For some women it begins gradually in their late 30s or 40s. For others it can start suddenly, following surgery or medical treatment that induces menopause overnight. Symptoms can be subtle or overwhelming, physical, emotional, cognitive, or all of the above. Some women move through it with minimal disruption, while others feel as though their entire sense of self has shifted.
There is no single ānormalā.
Our mothers and grandmothers experienced menopause in a very different world. Their lives, stressors, diets, workloads, expectations and access to information were not the same as ours. Many were never given language for what they were experiencing, let alone support or choice. Symptoms were often endured in silence and framed as something to tolerate rather than understand.
Modern women live very different lives.
Today, menopause intersects with careers, caregiving, financial pressure, fertility journeys, medical intervention, relationship demands and prolonged stress. Some women reach menopause after years of fertility challenges, pregnancy loss, IVF or hormonal treatments. Others experience menopause as the result of surgery, cancer treatment or medical necessity, often with little time to prepare physically or emotionally.
These experiences matter.
Our food environment has changed. Our sleep is disrupted. Many of us carry the long-term effects of dieting culture, nutrient depletion, hormonal contraception, chronic stress, trauma, burnout and emotional overload.
All of these factors influence how menopause feels.
Weight, nutrition, movement, alcohol, gut health, workload, fertility history, medical history, emotional wellbeing and workplace culture do not sit outside menopause. They shape it. Hormonal change does not happen in isolation. It affects the brain, mood, memory, confidence, motivation and sense of identity just as much as the body.
Menopause is not one thing, nor a simple sum of its parts.
It is a moving target, adaptive, responsive and constantly shifting.
Rather than fighting against it or fearing it, we are better served by learning how to work with it. By listening to our bodies, understanding what our menopause looks like, and responding with curiosity rather than judgement.
Menopause is not here to punish us or take something away.
It is a protective, evolutionary transition that asks us to adapt, recalibrate and care for ourselves differently.
Our bodies are not broken.
They are unique, intelligent and deeply responsive.
When we stop comparing our experience to someone elseās, our motherās, a friendās, a headline or a checklist, we create space to find what actually supports us.
Because mine is not my motherās menopause.
And yours isnāt either.
