easibirthing Fertility to Parenthood for professionals

21/08/2024

It’s back to school soon for many children across the country, and most of the time leading up to the return to the classroom will be spent on getting physically prepared. The emphasis can also be on preparing your child mentally for transitioning into the new school year, after a few weeks of less structure. Getting to bed on time the last couple weeks of holiday or visiting the school building and grounds to familiarise children with the area.
While the focus is on children’s welfare for the start of school — and rightly so — what about the parents’ well-being? If the parents are not in proper mental health, how can they help their children? The transition into a new school year brings anxiousness and feelings of uncertainty for parents as well, especially if they are sending their first child to school or off to college, or even a new school.
Here are five tips for parents to be ready mentally for the start of school:
Take care of yourself first: To take care of your children, you must prioritise your health, both physically and mentally. Keep an eye out for signs of parent burnout like poor sleep, irritability and brain fog. It’s important to get ahead of burnout by making time for the things that are uniquely important to you such as getting to the gym or meeting a friend for coffee.
Don’t pass it on: Children are very attuned to their parents. Be careful not to unintentionally pass on your anxiety or stress. Be mindful of your tipping points which are when you’re most likely to show signs of anxiety or stress to your children. If you reach that tipping point, try deep breathing or grounding yourself. It’s also helpful to take physical space from any direct stressors if you can.
Get organised: There are a lot of practical tasks that need to be accounted for at the start of the year. Getting ahead of those logistical pieces eliminates items and ideally stress from your to-do list. Have a plan for getting your child’s back-to-school items together. Consider ahead of time what the transportation plans to and from school are going to be and curate your list of emergency contacts for the days where you’ll need last-minute childcare help.
Gain the proper perspective: Starting school — including sending off to college— for the first time or starting a new school can be overwhelming, but you and your child have gotten through hard things in the past. Engaging in positive affirmations about the year to come can settle adult nerves and promote confidence in your children.
Find support: You, nor anyone, can do this alone. We all need help emotionally, mentally or with physical needs when it comes to back-to-school time. If you’re looking to develop a wider support network, join your school’s parent-teacher association (PTA) or talk with a counsellor at school related events. It’s a great way to meet families with same aged children.
https://www.easibirthing.com/parenting-styles-and-family-relationships

07/08/2024

Carmona et al (2016) found that two to three months after giving birth, multiple regions of the cerebral cortex were, on average, 2% smaller than before conception. And most of them remained smaller two years later. Although shrinkage might evoke the idea of a deficit, the team showed that the degree of cortical reduction predicted the strength of a mother’s attachment to her infant, and proposed that pregnancy prepares the brain for parrenthood. Pregnancy advances your ‘biological’ age — but giving birth turns it back.
In addition, Hoekzema (2022) confirmed that the cortical regions that shrink during pregnancy also function differently for at least a year after giving birth.
These studies and others, say researchers, highlight a transformational life event that has ling been neglected by neuroscience — one that around 140 million women experience annually.
Yet, the stereotypical idea of ‘pregnancy brain’ is pervasive across many societies. Surveys show that 50–80% of people who have been through pregnancy and birth report memory deficits, ‘brain fog’ or other cognitive issues.
Pregnancy and its hormonal surges alter physiology hugely. “Pretty much every single system in the body is hijacked to allow for the fetus to grow,” says Galea.
Changes to biology that are independent of pregnancy come from new fathers, she says, who also experience hormonal changes and brain alterations that partially tally with those seen in mothers. These changes are greater the more care they provide.

https://www.easibirthing.com

31/07/2024

Our final post in a series of 10 ways to heal from birth trauma

10) It is important to remember that there is life beyond a negative birth experience-but you may need time to heal, not just physically but psychologically as well. Be patient, it can and will happen.
“Am I broken?” asked rabbit. “No,” said Bear. “You’re healing. Healing can be messy and it takes time. Sometimes it might feel like you are broken but that is just a rough edge being soothed as it grows and fits into a new place. Soon….you’ll be stronger than you were before.”

24/07/2024

9th part in a series of 10 ways to overcome birth trauma and give the time to heal. We will also be including some tips on what you can do leading up to a birth experience to help prevent birth trauma.
9) Post-traumatic Growth After Birth Trauma: (“I Was Broken, Now I Am Unbreakable”)
Research suggests that almost 50% of mothers may experience posttraumatic growth after a traumatic birth. In particular, most mothers reported an increased appreciation for life, an enhanced sense of personal strength, and an improved ability to relate to others after a traumatic birth. Mothers report they feel stronger, more empathetic to others in pain, more assertive in fighting for their own needs, and more deeply connected to partners, friends, and children. But this takes time…

Becoming a confident parent with our parenting support Parenting and co-parenting is surrounded by...

17/07/2024

8th part in a series of 10 ways to overcome birth trauma and give the time to heal. We will also be including some tips on what you can do leading up to a birth experience to help prevent birth trauma.

8) Should you need it, legal help is available for birth injury and pregnancy negligence claims
Sadly there are times when things going wrong around the time of birth and can have devastating long term effects for a child and their family.
If you do feel you may have a possible legal case of obstetric negligence as the result of physical or psychological trauma, there are special personal injury solicitors who could help you to seek compensation for your or your baby’s injuries. However these cases are invariably complex so not every case of birth trauma will be pursuable through the legal system, as the solicitor needs to be able to prove a departure from acceptable standards by the health practitioners involved. Also the legal route is not for everyone, so if you decide to do this, make sure it is your choice and decision, no-one else pressurising you to pursue this.
https://www.easibirthing.com/post-natal-mental-health

03/07/2024

7th part in a series of 10 ways to overcome birth trauma and give the time to heal. We will also be including some tips on what you can do leading up to a birth experience to help prevent birth trauma.
7) Hypnobirthing next time round
No two births are the same, no two pregnancies are the same, no two mothers are the same. Without stoking anxiety unnecessarily, it is important to have some knowledge of what might happen and have the psychological (and physical) toolbox to deal with it if things don’t go according to plan. As well as helping you with the knowledge, hypnobirthing training can help build the toolbox for circumstances where it doesn’t go according to plan so that you are fully equipped for any deviations from your plan for birth.
Ultimately the more women are empowered before birth, the more chance there will be of positive reflection on birth and the less chance there will be of birth trauma. Prevention is always better than cure.

Hypnobirthing for a vaginal birth or a C-section However you plan to give birth, vaginal birth or b...

26/06/2024

6th part in a series of 10 ways to overcome birth trauma and give the time to heal. We will also be including some tips on what you can do leading up to a birth experience to help prevent birth trauma.
6) There are therapists who specialise in birth trauma
You may need professional support to heal-there is no shame in this, only courage.
Research has shown that therapeutic intervention for women distressed by their birth experience can reduce symptoms of trauma, stress, depression and feelings of self-blame. A therapist can help you process your experience then and now and help move towards the future you want….a future you feel empowered to help shape. They can help you move beyond feelings of helplessness and of loss of control.
https://www.easibirthing.com/find-a-practitioner

19/06/2024

5th part in a series of 10 ways to overcome birth trauma and give the time to heal. We will also be including some tips on what you can do leading up to a birth experience to help prevent birth trauma.

5) Forgive yourself! Let go of any shame and guilt
Across the world, so many women suffer in silence because of the shame they feel-they blame themselves. What if I had made another decision? I feel guilty about feeling resentful towards my baby. Challenge these thoughts with alternative thoughts and evidence and divert the blame away from you.
Each birth experience is unique, therefore always has elements of the unknown.
“Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn’t know before you learned it” Maya Angelou
Move towards building your confidence that you are a good enough parent-not to strive for perfection. That what happened in birth is not something you need to compensate for. What happened was not your fault.

https://www.easibirthing.com/post-natal-mental-health

12/06/2024

4th part in a series of 10 ways to overcome birth trauma and give the time to heal. We will also be including some tips on what you can do leading up to a birth experience to help prevent birth trauma.
4) Forgiveness is the antidote for resentment
When you hold on to resentments, whether toward a person, group, or institution, you hurt yourself much more than anyone else. The intense emotions eat away at your mental-emotional well-being like acid, and the thoughts that drive those emotions take up space in your mind, stealing your precious time, energy, and attention.
The antidote (so to speak) for resentment is forgiveness. Of course, forgiving is much easier said than done, but new research shows that forgiveness improves mental health and well-being. Forgiveness is not about forgetting a hurtful or unjust action or pretending it didn’t happen, it’s not excusing or condoning such action. To forgive means to consciously remember what happened and intentionally let go of the pain attached to it and the suffering that pain creates. Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself—it’s more for the person doing the forgiving than the party being forgiven.
https://www.easibirthing.com/post-natal-mental-health

05/06/2024

3rd part in a series of 10 ways to overcome birth trauma and give the time to heal. We will also be including some tips on what you can do leading up to a birth experience to help prevent birth trauma.

3) SEEK SOCIAL SUPPORT

Sadly we see many new mums withdrawn from support when they are suffering birth trauma. In reality, this is the very time that you need it! Help can come in the form of baby & toddler groups, but also a listening ear, housework, babysitting, even homework help for older children. Research has shown that when women who are suffering birth trauma reach out for emotional and practical support, they are less likely to develop Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Contrary to misconceptions, birth trauma does not necessary mean PTSD.
Your emotions can swing between rage one minute, to sadness and bouts of crying the next. Reach out for help when your emotions feel fragile, don’t wait until they feel overwhelming.
https://www.easibirthing.com/post-natal-mental-health

29/05/2024

2nd part in a series of 10 ways to overcome birth trauma and give the time to heal. We will also be including some tips on what you can do leading up to a birth experience to help prevent birth trauma.
2) Birth trauma is not necessarily what happened in childbirth but how you felt about what happened in childbirth
If you are thinking back to the unspoken trauma of your own birth experience, please speak up. You’re always well within your rights to explore whether your birth could have been managed differently, and whether or not your trauma could have been avoided. Start by speaking to someone you trust about the experience. Write down your birth experience if you feel ready, first how it felt to be you in the moment, then from the perspective of a third party observer. Notice if there are differences between the two accounts and why this might be. If you want to, and feel ready, you can ask to speak with a midwife about discussing your birth notes.
https://www.easibirthing.com/post-natal-mental-health

22/05/2024

Having posted last week about what Birth Trauma is, here is our 1 part in a series of 10 ways to overcome birth trauma and give the time to heal. We will also be including some tips on what you can do leading up to a birth experience to help prevent birth trauma.
1) Don’t let anyone belittle or dismiss your experience
There should be room to express both gratitude about the birth as well as process the trauma, anger, and feeling of loss that may have occurred at the same time. Sometimes we need time to feel grateful about any aspect of it, no-one has the right to tell you that you should be grateful. You may need time to mourn the loss of the birth experience you wanted and hoped for, and that is ok. This is your experience, no-one has the right to invalidate it; not your partner, family, fellow mums, or medical professionals.
https://www.easibirthing.com/post-natal-mental-health