01/03/2025
Dysfunctional family systems can create scapegoats.
It's easier to place the blame on the scapegoat as the one with the issue rather than accept the issue with the dysfunctional system.
Counselling can help you recognise this pattern or system and your place in it. Painful but rewarding work.
Please do get in touch if this resonates with you.
When a dysfunctional behavior has taken place for so long that it becomes the "norm" in a culture (a family culture, a work culture, a religious culture), the first person who calls that dysfunction out-who brings it into the light and demands that it change-is often scapegoated as "the problem."
Not just by the perpetuator of the problem behavior, but by all those who have silently accommodated it up till this point.
"Could you not make a fuss?"
"You're being so sensitive."
"Don't rock the boat."
These situations can be particularly challenging because they make us question our reality.
It takes an incredible amount of courage to be the one who dissents. If you can relate to this, remember: sometimes people are accustomed to upholding systems-even systems that harm them-because they're familiar, and they're all they know.
If you speak the truth and you're met with backlash, dismissal, and scapegoating, you're job isn't to convince or strong-arm. Your job is to create safety for yourself with boundaries KNOWING you stood in your integrity.
