What are the opening hours?

Monday 9am - 5pm Tuesday 9am - 5pm Wednesday 9am - 5pm Thursday 9am - 5pm Friday 9am - 5pm

http://www.heidimilestherapy.com/

Heidi Miles Psychotherapy and Counselling, Cawood, Selby (2026)

25/03/2026

Thoughts for today:

Creating something isn’t always about the end product. Sometimes it’s about reflecting on how we relate to what we create. How the critic in us emerges, or how we slow down and enjoy each stitch coming in and out of the cloth.
Perfectionism can come from all sorts of past narratives and experiences. Allowing ourselves time to slow down can be a real challenge.

24/03/2026

In play therapy, we don’t just see behaviour
we see the nervous system underneath it
Polyvagal Theory, first developed by Dr Stephen Porges, helps us understand how the autonomic nervous system responds to safety, danger and threat.

Building on earlier work in neuroscience and attachment, including theorists such as John Bowlby, this framework offers a relational way of understanding children’s behaviour.

We understand that children move through different states of their autonomic nervous system.

🟢 Safe and Connected (Ventral Vagal)
A child feels calm, curious and able to engage in play and relationships.

🟠 Alert and Mobilised (Sympathetic)
A child may appear anxious, restless or dysregulated and their system is preparing to fight or flee.

🔵 Shutdown and Withdrawn (Dorsal Vagal)
A child may seem flat, disconnected or disengaged and their system is conserving energy to cope.

✨ In the playroom, children don’t need to explain these states in words.

Through play, they show us where they are and gently, safely we meet them there

Play therapy offers:

💛 A regulated adult nervous system
💛 A safe, attuned relationship
💛 Opportunities for co regulation
💛 Space for the child to move back towards connection

Because healing doesn’t come from fixing behaviour.

It comes from feeling safe enough to be understood.

24/03/2026

🌟 Fully Funded Support for Parents & Carers – Starting April 2026 🌟

We’re pleased to share that, thanks to funding from the South Yorkshire Violence Reduction Unit, we are offering a Fully Funded 6-week online Non-Violent Resistance (NVR) group for parents and carers.

NVR is a supportive, evidence-based approach that helps adults respond to challenging behaviours in children and young people with calm, consistent, and non-escalatory strategies.

💬 Who is this for?
This group is ideal for parents or carers who are:
- Supporting a child or young person displaying aggressive, controlling, or harmful behaviours
- Open to engaging in a supportive group setting
- Able to attend the sessions
- Not currently in immediate crisis (additional support may be more appropriate in those cases)

🗓 Course Details:
📅 Starts: 27th April 2026
🕘 Time: 09:30 – 12:00
💻 Location: Online (from the comfort of your home)
📆 Duration: 6 weekly sessions

This is a safe and supportive space to connect with others, learn practical strategies, and feel more confident in managing challenging situations.

📩 Interested or want to refer someone?
Get in touch with us today to find out more or secure a place.

Spaces are limited, so please don’t hesitate to reach out 💙

21/03/2026

How does our sense of self develop?

It’s not something we often stop to ask ourselves.

Yet there can be moments in life where relationships don’t feel as we’d like them to. Times when we’re unsure what we want, what might make us happy… or even what “happy” really means — maybe it’s not as straightforward as it seems.

There are, of course, many theories that try to explain how we become who we are — attachment theory, object relations, and more. And sometimes understanding the “why” can be helpful. But is it always necessary? Does having an explanation change anything? Sometimes yes… and sometimes not.

From a relational therapy perspective, something else becomes possible.

You bring all that you are — the ground you’ve grown from, and the conditions that are shaping you right now. The parts you like, and the parts you struggle with. And together, we explore what unfolds in the moment.

How do you experience me through your lens?
How might I experience you?

Within the shared space of therapy, we begin to notice what it feels like to be in relationship — with another, and with yourself.

My role is to stay grounded, present, and alongside you — even when things feel intense or moving — so that you have a steady place from which to explore.

Therapy isn’t about fixing who you are.
It’s about growing, expanding, and being supported to experience yourself more fully…

…and, gently, becoming more aware of who you want to be, and where you might want to grow next.

19/03/2026

As a therapist who supports adoptive parents, young people and young adopted adults through the ASGSF funding I know first hand the impact on all of the family.

The reality is that the funding as it currently stands only allows for approximately 10-25 sessions per family (depending on the organisation delivering the therapy support). As therapists we find ourselves trying to support deep trauma with not enough sessions to do the work and no commitment to be able to provide ongoing support.

When attachment relationships have been impacted through early developmental trauma and trust has been lost in the systems, organisationally and family, it can take a long time for a therapeutic relationship to develop. Change can be slow and requires more than just the therapy session bring available.

I’m passionate about this work and it is deeply impactful. It takes specialist therapists and many years of experience and training which is why therapists and organisations delivering therapy are audited and not everyone can and wants to work in this way.

If you are or are not an adoptive parent, please know that it takes more than love to raise a child who has already experienced at least one significant loss before they have any capacity to make sense of it. You will be changed by the process, you will need a community who understands and you will no doubt be doing everything in your capacity.

If you are a person who has been adopted, not everyone including you and your parents will understand the experience of having a sense of two lives. I hope you all get the support you need.

14/03/2026

Sometimes no words are needed. Just creativity and being alongside what emerges can create a shift.

12/03/2026

Internal chatter
🙄or😩 or😊

Most of us live with a constant stream of internal chatter.

Little phrases running quietly through the mind.

“Try it this way.”
“Slow down.”
“Be careful.”
“That’s not quite right.”
“Start again.”
“Do this first.”

Often these voices sound very familiar. They echo the guidance we received when we were young — the ways the adults around us helped us make sense of the world.

But sometimes those voices were never clearly given to us. As children, with only a tiny understanding of how life works, we tried to write the instructions ourselves. We created our own rules for how to behave, how to stay safe, how to be acceptable, what to do or say.

Those early patterns and instructions can stay with us for a long time.

And when the internal chatter is kind or steady, it can help us navigate our day.

But when that voice becomes loud,harsh or punitive — when direction turns into criticism and correction turns into blame — it can be much harder to move through the day. The chatter can pull us quickly into shame, into the feeling that we’ve somehow got it wrong again.

Add to this any trauma, neurodivergence or disability in a world that, back then and still now, would prefer not to face the challenges others have, and the sense of self may just feel drowned out.

Sometimes the work isn’t about silencing the chatter.

Sometimes it’s about getting curious about it.

Where did this voice learn its job?
How was it trying to protect or teach?
Do I agree or disagree when I slow down and listen?
And does it still need to speak to me in the same way now?

Sometimes you need a cheerleader to encourage you and tell you that you are good enough.

09/03/2026

🌼Hi everyone 🌼

I have done a bit of an update to my website. I would love you to take a look and see what you think. Do get in touch if you feel you or someone else might benefit from therapy, supervision or reflective supervision (teachers, senco, pastoral support or youth workers).

I currently have some spaces available at my base in Cawood, Yorkshire and online.

Email: heidimilestherapy@protonmail.com
Website: www.heidimilestherapy.com

🌻Wishing you all a good week🌻

04/03/2026

For Parents, Teachers & Professionals

23/02/2026

No one is connecting the dots on SEND. More and more children need extra support with school - but that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with our children. The problem is a school system that lacks flexibility, and which can’t accommodate the many different ways in which children learn and develop. The problem is a system which sees 'behaviour' as something to be punished, rather than feedback on a situation that isn't working.

We have a school system that prioritises test results over developmental needs, that favours control over autonomy and in which there is little time and space for meaningful relationships between adults and children. It turns too many children into failures, measuring them against a narrow academic benchmark. It punishes them for minor misdemeanours and teaches them that learning is mostly about doing what you’re told. It prioritises attendance over meaningful engagement.

Then when children show us that this doesn’t work, we say there’s something wrong with them. We say they need to attend more, try harder, put more effort in. And when that doesn’t work, then the system says they must have SEND, because why else would they need something different?

Of course SEND costs are rising, because the school system isn’t fit for the children it serves. We need an education system that start the goal of with providing what children need to thrive, not with ‘driving up standards’ or ‘100% attendance’.

More play for the younger ones. More autonomy for the older ones. More diversity of opportunity. More focus on relationships. And an emphasis on interest-led learning and finding purpose, rather than on tests and exams. It's not rocket science.

For the more you put the pressure on to get those standards up, the more of our children are squashed in the process.

17/02/2026

🧵✨ Mindful Stitching – A Gentle Hour for You ✨🧵

📅 Upcoming Dates:
• 13th March
• 17th April
• 15th May
• 19th June

In a world that rarely slows down, this is your invitation to pause.

Join me for a small, welcoming and therapeutic stitching circle — a quiet, nurturing space where you can spend an hour simply being present. Together, we’ll slow the breath, soften the mind and follow the thread as it moves rhythmically through fabric.

Mindful stitching offers a calming, grounding experience. The simple, repetitive motion of needle and thread can:

🌿 Soothe the nervous system
🧠 Gently improve focus and clarity
💛 Reduce stress and anxious thoughts
✨ Encourage a sense of achievement and inner calm

You don’t need to be experienced — this is not about perfection or productivity. It’s about noticing the feel of the fabric, the movement of your hands, and giving yourself permission to slow down.

Spaces are intentionally limited to keep the group small and supportive, so please book in advance to secure your place.

Come and experience the quiet calm of following the thread. 🕊️

13/02/2026

Yep you may be talking to a cushion in a session with me. You don’t have to but who knows. 🙂
https://www.facebook.com/share/v/1bCmkwPne5/?mibextid=wwXIfr

Heidi Miles Psychotherapy and Counselling

25/03/2026

24/03/2026

24/03/2026

21/03/2026

19/03/2026

14/03/2026

12/03/2026

09/03/2026

04/03/2026

23/02/2026

17/02/2026

13/02/2026

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Monday	9am - 5pm
Tuesday	9am - 5pm
Wednesday	9am - 5pm
Thursday	9am - 5pm
Friday	9am - 5pm