Clarity - Kent - counselling

13/11/2025

Today is World Kindness Day.

Sharing acts of kindness.
You never know what someone is going through so
A few nice words can help more than you think
A smile, listening ear, compliment, a card, virtual hug – smallest act of kindness
‘Kindness is the greatest gift that you can bestow upon another. If someone is in need, then lend them a helping hand. True kindness lies within the act of giving without the expectation of something in return’

How does kindness makes you feel? – joy, pleasure, closeness, happiness – an act of kindness boosts your own emotions.

What can you daily act of kindness to someone else be today? May be you have already shared the love.

And don't forget yourself too.

Talk to yourself about the feeling or situation sympathetically by saying the kind of things you might say to a friend. Use gentle words to refer to yourself. Be kind and understanding as if you are your own best friend who loves you unconditionally. Consider ‘May I be kind to myself in this moment’. It’s about creating a sense of ‘I’m sorry you’re having a tough time today’. It helps to follow this with ‘Given how I’m feeling, what do I need or what would help right now?’ The answer might be something simple like go for a walk, call a friend or even just put the kettle on.

Let's support each other.

If you'd like to afford yourself - self-kindness, DM me to find out more about the ‘Clarity midlife MOT’ and bag a slot in my diary – an opportunity to press pause, jump off the crazy treadmill of professional life and identify aspects of your life now that are in need of a dose of some TLC - a blend of therapy & coaching to help you create a roadmap of strategies – tailored just for you.

07/11/2025

International Stress Awareness week

This year’s theme is “Optimising Employee Wellbeing through Strategic Stress Management" .

If the gas pedal is to the floor – cue stress our ‘sympathetic’ response of our automatic nervous system, we switch into fight, flight or freeze mode. We need to move into ‘rest & digest’ – our parasympathetic nervous system response to calm our mind & bodies – think breath work, meditation, hot/cold exposure, movement, nutrition.

We have underlying causes and triggers for our stress & anxiety. If your stress ‘bucket’ gets too full, then the result is, it overflows, and you get overwhelmed. It may be full to the brim of work, career challenges & pressure, managing family life – kids, teens & partners, aging and/or sick parents, financial issues, dealing with change, relationships, lack of sleep, poor diet, personal life. Layer over midlife (aka peri menopause, menopause & post-menopause) too with our pesky hormones at play and it can all become a powerful mix!

Stress can affect us on a physical level because you are producing a hormone called cortisol. There is the hormone that links perimenopause to stress – the ‘stress’ hormone. When we talk about stress, we have to know what cortisol is doing to our body, and how high cortisol levels suppress progesterone. High cortisol IS stress, which also causes low progesterone which then leaves a high level of oestrogen, making you out of balance. Progesterone is our ‘stress busting’ hormone in midlife.

Therefore, it is so important to have self-care routine/rituals to remain calm, to chill out and relax. It’s key therefore to activate our ‘parasympathetic nervous system’ – aka our ‘rest & digest’ mode (or want of a better phrase ‘put the handbrake on’!)

Notice your feelings and physically sensations in your body.
Some stress relievers in the comments:⏬

If you are feeling stressed, DM me to find out more about the ‘Clarity midlife MOT’– an opportunity to press pause, jump off the crazy treadmill of professional life and identify aspects of your life now that are in need of a dose of some TLC.

31/10/2025

Loneliness & Menopause. - Yes, it’s a thing. I get it. I’ve experience it. Have you?

As human’ beings’ (not doings) we need CONNECTION.

Midlife, perimenopause, menopause can be a lonely affair. We can feel isolated, even if we have family & friends around us, that love us. Feelings of loneliness can feel incredibly overwhelming for us, wanting to shutdown to protect ourselves.

Check out my blog here: https://clarity-kent.co.uk/connection-in-midlife/ (yes -drum roll please - two in one month - it is World Menopause month, after all) for happiness hacks & ways we can choose to connect.

10/10/2025

On World Mental Health day ..

And during Menopause Month - let's look at our 'lifestyle medicine' in midlife

My latest blog: https://clarity-kent.co.uk/balance-our-inflammatory-scales-in-perimenopause-lifestyle-medicine/

Enjoy!

and wearing blue today 💙

❤️

Counsellor. Menopause Therapeutic Coach Working at at 7 Oaks Counselling & virtually.

30/05/2025

It's been a while.
Latest blog: Menopause & Chronic illness - the double whammy

https://clarity-kent.co.uk/the-double-whammy-navigating-menopause-with-chronic-illness/

03/04/2025

Finding Passion, Joy & Purpose in midlife

Feeling all the ‘feels’ in midlife – sense of self, confidence, identity, sense of direction – in both personal & professional life. Does this resonate?

Purpose Matters:

It is linked to:
- Better physical & mental health – we’re talking lower stress, reduced inflammation increased resilience & motivation
- Stronger relationships – we’re talking meaningful connections with others
- Greater fulfilment – we’re talking alignment of our values & passions leading to a more meaningful life.

Did you know that having a sense of purpose can increase our longevity up to 7 years! Let’s not miss out in midlife.
We can feel lost during menopause, struggling with changing roles, shifting priorities and a loss of direction.

Purpose doesn’t need to be a grandiose thing – small moments of joy and meaning all add up. Think small ‘p’ purpose everyday sources of fulfilment that bring joy and meaning without ‘pressure’.

Head to clarity-kent.co.uk, where you can take the Embers quiz (and join my mailing list) and read my blog on finding Passion, Joy & Purpose. Together, we can work together to help you find renewed joy, purpose and meaning in the second half of life.

28/02/2025

Feel like you are going MADD in midlife with anxious thoughts & overwhelm?

Do you find that you have thoughts, old narratives, scripts and self-limiting beliefs running around your head?

Watch out for rigid & personal rules and standards. These internalised rigid and absolute rules such as "musts," "shoulds," and "oughts" can lead us to feel stressed, guilty, and burnt out, particularly during life transitions such as midlife.

I can help with this. We can look at the MADD rules that keep you stuck in midlife and send you into that all too familiar overwhelm space.

I work with the EMBERS® model, a Menopause-Informed Psychological Care framework aims to educate, validate, and empower women to implement strategies to regain control over their life, body, and mind during the menopausal transition and beyond. It’s a comprehensive therapeutic approach integrating an understanding of the physiological, emotional & psychological changes us ladies, experience during menopause, while also considering the broader context of your lives. This approach not only addresses symptoms but also considers factors such as physical & mental health status, relationships, work, & life stressors.

Check out my overwhelm video in the comments: 🔽

DM me to find out more about menopause therapy.

14/02/2025

Emotions: Heck what are those in midlife!?

No time for them – push them down (stuff them down – yes, we eat our feelings too).

Ever recognised the constructs of the words – de-pressed? dis-ease?

Yes, it’s all about the emotions.

We are human ‘beings’ not human ‘doings’ although in midlife – our 40’s & 50’s are likely to be the busiest times of our lives – we are spinning the plates & juggling various balls (young children, aging parents, poorly parents, busy professions, relationships – you can get the gist).

We need to feel to ‘heal’.

Our emotions are ‘messengers’. In midlife ‘what are they signalling to us? Listen to their wisdom.

Tune in and don’t shoot the messenger!

Befriending our emotions is key in midlife. Self-compassion all the way.

Emotions are like waves – they peak, plateau and then come down – there is no crash – we surf them.
When we are overwhelmed with our emotions – we can recognise the ‘urge’ is the energy of the emotion.
Emotions follow motion. If this resonates with you, we can talk emotion fitness in midlife – the ability to navigate life’s emotional highs and lows with resilience, balance and purpose. Together, I can support you in cultivating the skills to recognise, regulate and respond to emotions effectively while aligning actions with personal values. Emotional fitness is not about eliminating negative emotions or achieving constant happiness (is there such a thing!?), it’s about developing the capacity to embrace the full spectrum of emotions and channel them constructively.

DM me and we can talk more about how I can support you with Menopause Informed psychological care (MIPC).

29/01/2025

Our 'energy budget' in midlife

Tune into me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WVUDg51b2wM talking about our 'energy budget' in midlife - I'm talking assets, deposits, debts & looking out for the 'red flags'.

Please check out my website for the ‘Embers’ quiz to see where you are with your perimenopause symptoms and if you like to work with me.

I work with the EMBERS® model, a Menopause-Informed Psychological Care framework aims to educate, validate, and empower women to implement strategies to regain control over their life, body, and mind during the menopausal transition and beyond. It’s a comprehensive therapeutic approach integrating an understanding of the physiological, emotional & psychological changes us ladies, experience during menopause, while also considering the broader context of your lives. This approach not only addresses symptoms but also considers factors such as physical & mental health status, relationships, work, & life stressors.

If you are interested, DM me and we can have a free 20-minute Zoom intro call.

23/12/2024

Wishing you all a very Happy Christmas! 🎅🎄☃

A funny reel from Instagram. Hope you are winding down for Xmas.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DDXoNm0spkJ/?igsh=MTdtYmY0bGwwcmF5cA==

18/12/2024

In this episode of Real Talk, I sat down with Becky Stone (https://www.facebook.com/BeckyCares) to have an open & candid conversation about Menopause.

With my background in corporate HR and my own lived experience of surgical menopause, I shares powerful insights into navigating hormonal changes, managing symptoms like brain fog, anxiety, and menopause rage, and finding a new sense of identity during midlife.

Together, we explore the emotional and physical challenges of menopause, the importance of community, and practical strategies like self-care, nutrition, and exercise to thrive through this transformative phase.

Whether you’re just starting your menopause journey or supporting a loved one, this episode offers everyone validation, education, and empowerment.

Listen in here: https://creators.spotify.com/pod/show/becky-stone5/episodes/Menopause-Unfiltered-Navigating-Hormones--Identity--and-Self-Care-with-Nick-Pendregaust-e2s50h9/

I work with the EMBERS® model, a Menopause-Informed Psychological Care framework aims to educate, validate, and empower women to implement strategies to regain control over their life, body, and mind during the menopausal transition and beyond. It’s a comprehensive therapeutic approach integrating an understanding of the physiological, emotional & psychological changes us ladies, experience during menopause, while also considering the broader context of your lives. This approach not only addresses symptoms but also considers factors such as physical & mental health status, relationships, work, & life stressors.

If you are interested, DM me and we can have a free 20-minute Zoom intro call.