01/02/2026
Attachment theory gives language to things many of us have felt for years but never understood.
Why closeness can feel soothing… or suffocating.
Why we crave reassurance but struggle to ask for it.
Why conflict feels unbearable or why we shut down and disappear.
These patterns didn’t come from nowhere.
They formed in early relationships where our nervous systems learned:
Is it safe to need?
Will someone come when I call?
Do I have to handle this alone?
Anxious, avoidant, fearful-avoidant (disorganised), and secure attachment styles aren’t personality flaws they’re adaptive responses to the care we received.
And the most hopeful part?
Attachment styles are not fixed.
Through awareness, therapy, and emotionally safe relationships, we can learn new ways of relating — ones that include:
• clearer communication
• healthier boundaries
• greater emotional safety
• more compassion for ourselves and others
You learned how to survive connection — and you can learn how to feel safe in it too.
If this resonates, hit save.
Which do you think is the most@common attachment style?
