24/11/2025
IT'S NOT "WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?" IT'S "WHAT HAPPENED TO ME & HOW DID IT SHAPE ME?"
What happened (the event)
-Big T or little t trauma
-One-time or ongoing
-Relational, developmental, or environmental
• breakup or divorce
• A global pandemic
• A traumatic birth or surgery
• Cancer
• A car crash
• childhood bullying
• An emotionally unavailable parent
• A physical or sexual assault
• Chronic microaggressions
• An unexpected loss
How it felt (your experience)
• "I don't belong."
• “No one came for me."
• "I had to freeze or shut down."
• "I was powerless and confused.”
• " have to stay strong for everyone else."
• "It's not ok to feel."
• “I’ll never be safe again"
• “It's my fault"
• "I'm not good enough"
How it shaped you (The Effects)
• anxiety
• shame and guilt
• emotional numbness
• perfectionism
• Nightmares, or intrusive thoughts
• Hypervigilance (always scanning for threat)
• "People pleasing" and overfunctoning
• Body tension, fatigue, or chronic pain
• Disconnection in relationships
• Chronic irritability
• Avoidance
• Difficulty trusting
