Sarah Pearce Counselling

08/12/2025

These reflections from The Psychology Mum are such a helpful reminder to slow down, be compassionate with ourselves, and protect our wellbeing at Christmas.

Anti- burnout advent day 7: take care or your mental health at wintertime.

Lots more anti-burnout tips in my new book available to preorder now: https://geni.us/AntiBurnoutBook

07/12/2025

Christmas can bring out different ways of coping, and all of them are okay. Some of us move through tasks with ease, some of us worry or double-check everything, and some of us quietly support from behind the scenes or step back entirely.

Whatever your way of getting through this Christmas, it shows your resourcefulness. There’s room for all of it, and you’re doing enough, just as you are.

06/12/2025

As Christmas is just around the corner, it’s normal to feel a mix of emotions when you’re grieving, whether for a loved one or a pet. Take some time over the next couple of weeks to prepare at your own pace. Consider what you feel able to do, and allow yourself space to step back if needed. Small gestures, like looking at photos, visiting a special place, or keeping meaningful items close, can offer comfort, whether alone or with supportive friends and family. Everyone grieves differently, and that’s okay. Be gentle with yourself and focus on what feels manageable. There’s no right way to experience this Christmas.

05/12/2025

With the build-up to Christmas, it’s common for feelings of anxiety, loneliness, or overwhelm to become more noticeable, and acknowledging this is an important step in looking after your mental wellbeing.

Being kind to yourself during the festive season can make a real difference. That might mean keeping elements of your routine steady, planning breaks between busy days, setting firm limits around spending, or choosing smaller, more comfortable get togethers. It could also involve preparing an exit plan for events, creating a quiet space to step away for a moment, or giving yourself permission to say no when things feel too demanding.

Opening up to someone you trust can help ease the weight of the season. By focusing on what genuinely supports your wellbeing, you can move through the next month in a way that feels calmer and more manageable.

04/12/2025

As we move through the festive period, it’s common to feel lonely sometimes, even with all the lights, music, and busy streets around us. You might notice it when friends are busy with their own plans, when social media makes everything look joyful and effortless, or when you’re on your own during times that are often portrayed as “together” moments. Loneliness can also show up in quieter moments, like having a meal alone or noticing that everyone around you seems caught up in celebrations while you feel disconnected.

When this happens, it can help to send a message to a friend, write down and reflect on how you’re feeling, engage in a small creative activity that feels meaningful to you or explore opportunities like volunteering, which can be a way to meet new people and build connections.

Talking things through in counselling can also help you explore these feelings, understand why they’re coming up, and find ways to feel more connected and supported during this time.

03/12/2025

As we are now in December, following on from yesterday’s post, it’s easy for the festive period to push us out of our window of tolerance, the space where we feel calm and emotionally balanced.

The lights, busy shops, and constant activity can feel overwhelming, while family dynamics, expectations, and unspoken tensions can stir up anxiety or frustration. Even things like coordinating plans or gift-giving, can chip away at our sense of balance. It’s normal to feel pulled in different directions or pressured to feel cheerful when life feels complicated.

Talking this through in counselling can help you notice when you’re getting pushed out of your window of tolerance and understand what’s happening for you, so it feels less overwhelming.

02/12/2025

Further to yesterday's post on anger, have you ever had one of those days where everything feels manageable, and then other days where even small things, like a slow line at the coffee shop, a forgotten text, or a brief disagreement with a friend, feel completely overwhelming? That’s your window of tolerance at work: it’s the range where your nervous system can handle stress and emotions without tipping over. When your window narrows, ordinary situations can feel huge, and it’s a sign to take a break, do some grounding, or give yourself a bit of rest.

I often refer to this concept in counselling, helping people understand their limits and explore ways to bring their system back into balance when life feels overwhelming.

01/12/2025

Sometimes anger isn’t really about the moment we explode, it’s about everything that built up before it. This classic, though somewhat outdated, image below shows how a difficult day can lead someone to carry tension home and unintentionally pass it on to the people they care about. This is called anger displacement, and it happens to many of us without realising it.

If you’ve ever wondered why small things set you off or why your reactions feel bigger than the situation, it might be because your anger hasn’t had a safe or understood place to go. Exploring your anger in counselling isn’t about blaming others for how you feel, it’s about gently understanding your own patterns, recognising what your emotions are asking for, and learning healthier ways to respond so you can take care of yourself and the people around you.

Image credit: Richard Sargent, 1954.

30/11/2025

Following yesterday’s post on shame, it’s helpful to understand the difference between shame and guilt, as they affect us in different ways. Guilt is about something you did, for example, forgetting a friend’s birthday might lead to the thought, “I should apologise and make it right.” Shame, however, is about who you believe you are and might sound like, “I’m a terrible friend. I always mess things up.” While guilt focuses on behaviour and can encourage healthy change, shame targets your sense of self and often leads to self-criticism and withdrawal. Understanding this difference can help you respond to mistakes with growth rather than self-punishment, and remind you that one moment doesn’t define you or your worth.

29/11/2025

Shame can quickly pull us into a cycle that’s hard to break. A triggering event can lead to feeling inadequate, then to thoughts like “I can’t do anything right” or “everyone must be judging me.” This often turns into withdrawing, isolating, or believing the worst about ourselves.

Counselling can help interrupt this spiral by exploring where these feelings come from, challenging unhelpful thoughts, and strengthening a more compassionate inner voice.

28/11/2025

Many of us carry the expectations of others without even realising it, being the “responsible one,” the “strong one,” or the person who never says no. Over time, those expectations can become the very bars that limit our choices, drain our energy, and shape our identity more than our own values do.

Counselling can help you untangle which expectations truly belong to you and which you’ve been carrying for others. Through reflection and support, you can begin rebuilding your life around your own needs, strengths, and goals, rather than the roles you feel pressured to play.

27/11/2025

We all have patterns that show up again and again, often without us fully noticing why. Maybe you keep saying “yes” when you’re overwhelmed, or you find yourself shutting down during conflict even when you want to speak up. These repetitions are usually signals pointing to something within you that’s asking for attention.

Counselling can help you make sense of these moments, understand where they come from, and create new ways of responding that feel healthier and more empowering. When we repair what’s been left unattended, whether it’s an old belief, a past experience, or a habit that no longer fits, life begins to shift in meaningful ways.