Mothering Matters

21/07/2024

❤️

12/04/2024

Research Participant Request

Mental health study of women giving birth with a history of childhood sexual abuse.

As part of my counselling degree at University of East Anglia (University Centre South Essex), I am conducting research to discover the impact on mental health of women giving birth who have experienced childhood sexual abuse.

What will I have to do if I take part?

If you agree to take part, you will be interviewed about your experience of your maternity care. The discussion should take about an hour at the longest.

If I agree to take part what happens to what I say?

All the information you give will be confidential and used for the purposes of this study only. A transcript of what you say will be included in a dissertation, but you will remain anonymous. The data will be collected and stored in accordance with the Data Protection Act 1998 (GDPR) and will be disposed of in a secure manner. The information will be used in a way that will not allow you to be identified individually.
What are the advantages of taking part?

You have an opportunity to give your thoughts and opinions on your maternity care and this may be useful information for maternity healthcare providers to decide how best to look after the wellbeing of women who have experienced childhood sexual abuse.

Are there any disadvantages of taking part?

The interview may bring up difficult emotions or trigger your memories. The interviewer is an experienced counsellor who has worked in this area of maternal mental health. You will receive information about how to get support after the interview if you feel it is needed.

Do you have to take part in the study?

No, your participation in this research is entirely voluntary. You are not obliged to take part. If you do not wish to take part you do not have to give a reason and you will not be contacted again.
Similarly, if you do agree to participate you are free to withdraw at any time up to 31st March 2024 if you change our mind.

What happens now?

If you are interested in taking part in the study you are asked to complete the
attached response form
and return it to 50555910@student.southessex.ac.uk
I will contact you so we can arrange to interview you remotely, online.


ZOOM
Participant consent form

CONSENT FORM FOR MENTAL HEALTH RESEARCH ON WOMEN GIVING BIRTH WITH A HISTORY OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE

Please tick the appropriate boxes Yes No
Taking Part
I have read and understood the Research Participant Information
I have been given the opportunity to ask questions about the project.
I agree to take part in the project. Taking part in the project will include being interviewed and recorded (audio or video)a
I understand that my taking part is voluntary; I can withdraw from the study at any time and I do not have to give any reasons for why I no longer want to take part.
Use of the information I provide for this project only
I understand my personal details such as phone number and address will not be revealed to people outside the project.
I understand that my words may be quoted in publications, reports, web pages, and other research outputs.
Please choose one of the following two options:
I would like my real name used in the above
I would not like my real name to be used in the above.
Use of the information I provide beyond this project
I agree for the data I provide to be archived at University of East Anglia (University Centre South Essex)
I understand that other genuine researchers will have access to this data only if they agree to preserve the confidentiality of the information as requested in this form.
I understand that other genuine researchers may use my words in publications, reports, web pages, and other research outputs, only if they agree to preserve the confidentiality of the information as requested in this form.
So we can use the information you provide legally
I agree to assign the copyright I hold in any materials related to this project to [name of researcher].

Name of participant……………………………………. Signature …………………………………….Date ………………………

Researcher ……………………………………. Signature ……………………………………. Date …………………………………

04/01/2024

You will eventually relax into this. I promise.

One grey afternoon, you'll be making dinner, whilst your ridiculously cute three-year-old sous-chef sits atop the kitchen counter, crumbling Oxo cubes and sniffing thyme.

With one arm cautiously holding her in place and the other haphazardly grating cheese, you'll finally feel at home in this not-so-new skin of yours.

You'll hand her a secret slice of cheddar and jokingly whisper "Shhh!", the same way that your Dad used to.

She'll look up at you, face beaming, delighted with her unexpected tidbit.

It hits you. You're enjoying this.

Finally, all the other stuff that once felt so immediate, will start to leave you. The tiredness. Oh, the tiredness that you thought would haunt you forever. The constant doubting of your own ability, that you thought would never leave you alone. The fear that you will never, ever, get the hang of this.

Because you will, my love.

Not every day. But some of the days. And that is a welcome breakthrough.

And all the rest will slowly fade into the deep recesses until the enduring feeling you're left with is,

"I love you. I love you. I love you".

Today was a good day.

--------------------------

Art : Leanne Crowe https://www.instagram.com/leannecrowe?igsh=MW1vZXN3NWE0ZWF0OA==

Words: Mother Truths

Taken from "Warm Like Summer: Little Stories of Early Motherhood" Available to buy worldwide on Amazon: https://linktr.ee/mother_truths

03/10/2023

I love everything about this post. The acknowledgement of motherhood, the recognition of the value of knowledgable mother-to-mother support and the beautiful image of a breastfeeding dyad with great positioning and attachment. I’m sad that posts like this are rare now.

When you were four days old we were readmitted into hospital as you had jaundice. They put a sign on your cot saying 'Baby McMillan' even though you were to take your Dad's name, Jones. I loved it. That little acknowledgement that you were a McMillan first. I stashed the sign in your baby bag on the way home.

In the evening, the staff swapped shifts and the night nurse took over. I could hear them having a brief disagreement behind my curtain about the frequency I was being asked to pump and feed. The night nurse said politely but firmly "This is not sustainable for the mum. She will be shattered. I'm going to change it to just feeding responsively or every 2 hours."

I think I dreamed her into existence. She was a softly spoken lady in her 60s from Inverness. She exuded calm. She told me tales about her grown-up children as she taught me how to ease my burning mastitis. She sat there kneading my rock-hard b***s as I cried tears of relief.

She appeared to float as she sauntered around us quietly performing her magic in the dark. She told me about side-lying feeding. Something I never kept up, but should have.

When Casey would wake, she would lift him and place him on my b**b for me then gently place him back in his cot, insisting that I try and stay as sleepy as I could. She would change his nappy. Everything.

And I soon drifted off to sleep, to the sound of her friendly chatter to the other, equally dazed new mums. It reminded me of that comforting faraway murmur of the telly as we slept upstairs as children.

And just like a mirage, she disappeared before I awoke for the day. She was the perfect combination of quiet authority and sensitive warmth. She knew what I needed, when I didn't.

In the morning I was brought rice krispies, a cup of tea and a buttered roll. One of those Scottish well-fired, almost burnt morning rolls. It was the tastiest thing ever.

This was the most rested I had felt since you arrived. And I didn't yet know it, but it was probably the most rested I was to feel for the next two and a half years.

Art: https://www.instagram.com/thalitadolillustration/

Words: Mother Truths

Taken from "Warm Like Summer: Little Stories of Early Motherhood"

Available to buy worldwide: https://linktr.ee/mother_truths

13/12/2021

Do you know the because of the baby putting his hand on our mouth while we breastfeed him??

According to Zeljko Loparic (professor of philosophy at Unicamp and Winnicott scholar), in his mother's lap, when everything goes well (there is foster care and exchange of looks), the child learns the notion of ′′ mutuality ". The baby realizes that mom does something for him. Give him something (milk, snuggle, affection, safety, relief,...).
And over time, the baby has the desire to give something to the mother too.

One of the first signs of mutuality is very interesting. Winnicott when he watches the babies that suck, realizes that too soon they start putting their finger inside their mother's mouth.

The baby is getting something from the mother and wants to spontaneously give something to her. Winnicott calls this ′′ cross identification ". The baby identifies with the mother in this ′′ give and receive ". And this, according to Winnicott, is fundamental to the beginning of a healthy social life.

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10/12/2021

16/11/2021

Staggeringly, over a third of all pregnant women have their labour medically induced, and this is accompanied by a tsunami of avoidable medical interventions.

Worldwide, this trend is growing at an alarming rate.

This is despite both a lack of evidence demonstrating its benefits and a wealth of evidence indicating the significant short- and long-term negative impacts of induction on the health and wellbeing of mothers and their babies.

My latest book, “In Your Own Time: How western medicine controls the start of labour and why this needs to stop” explores these issues and the research relating to induction of labour.

I’ve been chatting about it all week, and I’ll continue to chat about it, because this is the issue of our time.

My new book is available in paperback or on eBook and you can find out more at www.sarawickham.com/time

04/11/2021

Happy Diwali! My daughter’s school celebrated this beautiful festival of light today and she was delighted her friends thought she looked like Sita in her colourful dress.
I love that children are growing up to learn about the world and our rich, diverse culture, traditions and history.
Do tag us in your Diwali celebrations ✨

04/11/2021

The updated 2021 NICE guideline on inducing labour has just been published.

The guideline “...concerns the circumstances, methods and monitoring for inducing labour in pregnant women.” (NICE 2021).

The draft version of the guideline caused a lot of controversy when it went out for consultation.

That led to many people responding to NICE and sharing their concerns.

Thankfully, the final 2021 guidance does not include all of the changes that were proposed in the draft guideline.

However, some things are still of concern.

In my blog post on www.sarawickham.com today, I have outlined five of the key changes in the recommendations.

You can read it at https://www.sarawickham.com/research-updates/the-2021-nice-guideline-on-inducing-labour/ and there’s a link in my stories today too.

15/10/2021

How do you love a person
who never got to be,
or try to envision a face
you never got to see?
How do you mourn the death of one
who never got to live.
When there's nothing to feel good about
and nothing to forgive?
I love you, my little baby,
my companion of the night.
Wandering through my lonely hours,
beautiful and bright.
What does it mean to die before
you ever were born,
to live the lovely night of life
and never see the dawn?
Ah! My little baby,
you lived like anyone!
Life's a burst of joy and pain.
And then like yours, it's done.
I love you, my little baby,
just as if you'd lived for years.
No more, no less, I think of you,
the Angel of my tears.

(Credit unknown)
.

12/10/2021

Happy 15th birthday to the boy who made me a mother! ._ you are an endless source of pride, joy, love and laughter.
💗
You inspire us all with your ability to live life to the full with authentic and maturity beyond your years.
We love you so much. Always be you 💗

06/10/2021

Frim a friend of mine:

Hi everyone! My name is Helen and I’ve just started an MA in Integrative Counselling for Children, Adolescents and Families at the University of Roehampton.

Part of my course is infant observation, which means I need to find a baby and parent to observe, once a week for one hour for a total of 20 weeks. The baby should ideally be aged 0-3 months or due any time before the end of October. A baby under 6 months old would also be great though.

The notes I make after the observations will be used in my seminar groups and also as the basis for an essay. Pseudonyms will be used and identifying features changed to protect privacy and ensure confidentiality.

The aim of the observations is to allow me to observe growth and development of a baby and their relationship with their primary caregiver within a ‘real life’ home setting. I will be looking at how the baby makes sense of the world so I can apply this learning to my therapeutic work with young children and families.

I have lots of experience with teenagers but absolutely none with babies so it’s bound to be a real eye-opener for me (and I hope an interesting experience for a parent and family too).

If you think this could be something you are interested in and would like to know more or to have a chat about it, please feel free to drop me an email at mcdonalh@roehampton.ac.uk or contact me on Facebook.

This is me: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100064817624927

You can find out more about me here: https://helenore.co.uk/about-2/

I have a clean DBS (Disclosure and Baring Service Certificate) which is available to view on request.

helen@helenore.co.uk 07772 968070 Hello! I’m Helen. I’ve been working with children and young people for almost 20 years since I qualified as a teacher in 2001. During my teaching career, I gained …