The Baby Vine

07/03/2023

This 100%. 😘

In our society, a mother suffers guilt no matter what she does.⁣⁣
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If she’s on top of her kids making sure everything’s okay, she’s called a helicopter mom, and if she lets them run around as she sits on the side talking to a friend, she’s neglectful.⁣⁣
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If she prefers cooking from scratch and organic everything, her kids are “going to go crazy on junk food when they go to someone else’s house.” And if she feeds them donuts and muffins for breakfast some mornings because she’s in a rush or "just because," then her kids are unhealthy. ⁣⁣
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If she breastfeeds and doesn’t produce enough milk, and her baby isn’t thriving, then she’s a failure. But when she adds formula, she’s more of a failure for not giving her baby all breast milk.⁣⁣
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If she stays home with her kids, she should be working—"how can her family financially keep up?” But if she's working, she's met with "they're only little once."⁣⁣
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If she hasn't lost the postpartum weight, "gosh, she let herself go." But if she did, "wow, she must not eat, spend hours working out, and neglect her children.”⁣⁣
⁣⁣
In a society that knows “everything” and places too many expectations on moms,⁣⁣
If you listen to everyone else,⁣⁣
you’re always going to fall short.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
So, DON’T LISTEN,⁣⁣
and stop feeling bad for your choices.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
Throw those internalized unrealistic expectations away,⁣⁣
and do what’s best for you and your family.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
It’s called “your family” for a reason.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
Besides, if you love your children and try,⁣⁣
you’re a good mom.⁣⁣

⁣✍️: Living FULL
📸: This Mama Doodles
....................................................⁣⁣
My Children’s Book 𝘐𝘵’𝘴 𝘖𝘬𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘕𝘰𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘖𝘬𝘢𝘺: 𝘈𝘥𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘴 𝘎𝘦𝘵 𝘉𝘪𝘨 𝘍𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘛𝘰𝘰 is out everywhere: https://amzn.to/317TvVc

08/01/2023

Please, please, please, DON'T buy this carrier. I get that it's cheap, convenient to get hold of, and looks like it does All the Things.

However.

It's very, very difficult to get baby in a position that will keep their airway safe, especially when they are small. Imagine that baby against the chest of someone with B***s, and you will see what I mean.

It doesn't hold the hips in a great position - while it's unlikely to harm a baby unless they have known hip issues, why risk it?
It's uncomfortable for parent AND baby.

It's cheap for a reason.

Please PM me and I can help you to find something that will keep your baby safe, be good for their hips, be comfortable and will last longer than 5 minutes. At Wirral Sling Library, we want to keep you and your baby comfortable and confident, but most importantly safe!

I'm working on a very special deal for you - I totally understand that times are tough - so keep your eyes peeled!

Ruth (Rant Over)

https://www.aldi.co.uk/nuby-3-in-1-baby-carrier/p/724389674854700

17/08/2022

I’m looking forward to the next antenatal course starting next Thursday. This course is now full.

Don’t worry if you’ve missed out on this course the next one starts in October. Please don’t hesitate to get in touch if you’d like more information.

Ruth x

15/08/2022

Hold the mother, not the baby.⁣
⁣
Because the baby’s being taken care of—⁣
fed, snuggled, and given all the love in the world—⁣
by not only the mother,⁣
but her partner, grandparents, siblings, cousins, and friends.⁣
⁣
But the mother,⁣
may have gaps in her mind from lack of sleep,⁣
may be mechanical in her motions as she’s healing,⁣
may feel more like a mess than a mother,⁣
may be sitting in bed, crying, feeling overwhelmed in her body and life,⁣
may be full of mom guilt because in her mind, "she's not good enough,"⁣
and she’s bleeding, wincing in pain, swollen and emotional.⁣
⁣
And the mother’s that baby's whole world and needs to be seen, so she doesn't disappear into that postpartum fog.⁣
⁣
So, hold the mother, not the baby.⁣
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A mother agrees that her baby matters more.⁣
But she’s hurting, while she’s the person behind the baby,⁣
in the background, making it all happen:⁣
feeding her baby at all hours,⁣
snuggling her baby close to comfort newborn cries,⁣
and being that baby’s everything.⁣
⁣
So, it’s the mother who needs your love.⁣
⁣
And a mother will remember who held her up.⁣
⁣
So instead of “I’m coming to see the baby,”⁣
try saying, “I’m coming to see you 𝘢𝘯𝘥 meet the baby, too.”⁣
⁣
Because the mother needs to be held more.⁣

18/07/2022

15/07/2022

I’m pleased to share with you all that I’m now a certified TBR 3 Step Rewind practitioner. Trained to support those who’ve experienced birth or parenting trauma.
🌈

09/07/2022

I’m sure many of you can relate to this.
The baby vine has connected so many mamas over the years 🥰

We used to stand there talking to each other with our hips jutted forward, like an awkward teapot. Chatting about hospital bags with smiles that didn’t belong to us.
I never knew I could talk for so long about a bag.
We were nervous, but we hadn’t said so yet.
In fact we weren’t saying much at all for two women constantly chatting.
There was a lot of nodding, and some weird disconnect. Maybe because we thought growing humans was all we had in common.
Maybe because we were scared.
But we talked about the hospital bags some more, like it mattered.

And then somewhere after the hospital bags came the nappy bags and the cross over striped tops. We were messaging over poo texture, catching up for play dates where we both just sat on the couch with babies attached and then would occasionally move to the floor to change a nappy.
We would find each other online at 2 in the morning, the little green dot of affirmation that I wasn’t alone.
We would talk about the highs, we would cry over the lows.
We would laugh about how we thought birth would be the hardest part.
We understood the significance of the first roll over and the sadness of their last feed.
We’d remind each-other we were wonderful mothers on those harder days.

It’s the only friendship where you get to know them later, who they were before they were a mum and I’m not talking about their job. It comes out in a Spotify playlist or in the clothes that follow the stretchy waistbands or the swear words that fall out of their mouth that you pleasantly welcome.
The friendship where you’ll embrace them when they’re upset before you know their dogs name.
All of a sudden you share so much more than a due date.

3 years on and we talk about a lot more than bags, but still the occasional, “this handbag actually works as a nappy bag”.
And sometimes, for a few minutes we just sit in silence and watch the kids play.

Someone who I can sit in silence with and let out the longest breath.
Someone I never knew I needed.................................

Words: Jess Urlichs, Writer 📖 ‘All I See Is You’ available here: www.jessicaurlichs.com
Artwork: Helenetheillustrator

07/07/2022

This evenings session is all about those first weeks after the baby is born, the cocktail of hormones, the emotional rollercoaster, the tears and the smiles.
🥰