As It Is Ceremonies

05/11/2025

I had a REALLY hard time with this for the first year. How was I supposed to use past tense when talking about you? That felt so wrong. Even now I find myself pausing when talking about Lauren—it really is “she had, she was, this was hers.” But I will always say “she IS beautiful.”

💜HC

27/09/2025

When a mother loses a baby, their DNA doesn’t just disappear.
It lives inside of her.
Little fragments of them stay
woven into her blood, her bones, her very being.
She carries them forever, even when the world assumes she’s “moved on.”

Science calls it microchimerism.
But mothers call it love that never left.
Her baby’s cells cross into her body and stay there for a lifetime.
A physical reminder that they were real, they existed, they mattered.

So even when her arms are empty, she is never truly without them.
Their presence lingers in her body, her heartbeat, her cells.
She doesn’t just remember them…
she holds them, every single day, in ways no one can see.

Motherhood doesn’t end with loss.
It lives on in her body.
It lives on in her soul.
It lives on in the love that never had the chance to grow old.

She carries her baby forever.
Not just in her heart.
But in every part of who she is.

05/09/2025

Let them be sad.

Anything else you would like to add to this for someone who is helping a grieving friend?

20/06/2025

Hidden Legacy of Pregnancy: How Fetal Cells Shape a Mother’s Body for Life

During pregnancy, something extraordinary happens, fetal cells don't just grow within the womb; they migrate into the mother's body and stay there, possibly for the rest of her life. This phenomenon, known as microchimerism, means that people who have carried a pregnancy even briefly carry a microscopic legacy of their child in their heart, liver, lungs, kidneys, brain, and more.

But it doesn't stop there. The migration is bidirectional maternal cells also travel into the fetus and can persist well into adulthood. Over generations, these cellular exchanges may create living mosaics, connecting mothers, children, grandparents, and siblings in a deep, biological web. As evolutionary biologist Francisco Úbeda puts it, “It’s like you carry your entire family inside of you.”

While some scientists argue these cells are too sparse to matter, others believe they may have profound impacts. They are, after all, genetically distinct entities within the body. Researchers are exploring how these cells might influence everything from autoimmune disease and infection susceptibility to pregnancy outcomes and even behavior.

Are they healers or disruptors? Helpers or hidden saboteurs? The science is still unfolding, and many questions remain unanswered. But if these microchimeric cells truly shape our biology as some suspect, they could be one of the most underappreciated forces in human health and evolution.

As Katherine J. Wu reported in 2024 for The Atlantic, the implications are staggering: each of us may be more than just ourselves—we may be walking archives of those who came before and those we brought into the world. A biological echo that lingers in flesh, memory, and time.

13/05/2025

So many people rush in to support a griever inmediately after the death, which is great but the griever needs more support in the weeks and months and sometimes even years after when sadly most people have gone back to their lives.
I wish we could teach friends and family and neighbors to spread their care and support out and not give it all just in the early days when the griever is often still in shock and doesn’t even realize the depth of their loss yet.

23/04/2025

23/04/2025

At a funeral, words can sometimes feel inadequate.

Instead of trying to say something profound, focus on being present. A simple "I'm so sorry" or a shared memory can mean the world. Let them know you're listening, and offer a hug if it feels right.

Remember, it's about them, not you. Your presence and kindness are enough.

23/03/2025

It was so appropriate to have blue flowers in this bouquet for an extremely loyal Chelsea football supporter in Slough.

He was carried into the crematorium while the music 'The Liquidator' by Harry J. Allstars at Stamford Bridge played. And yes, we clapped.

He was so loved. His family said if love could have saved him he would have lived forever.

13/03/2025