The Fatherless Therapist

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The Fatherless Therapist

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Did your dad go get the milk too? 💔 Welcome to the club 🪩
I help girlies explore how his absence shaped their worth + relationships ♥️
📧 info@melissanoyce.com

01/12/2025

IYKYK 👀

All jokes aside,

Some of us didn’t lose a dad to death, we lost a dad to absence… and somehow that grief has no funeral, no rituals, no anniversaries to celebrate the memories. Just a yearly ache wrapped in tinsel.

You could even go that little bit further and acknowledge all of those who have trauma attached to Xmas. Maybe the holidays were the times where family disputes became intensified.

If this is your story too, you’re not alone in it.
I see you, and I get it more than you know.🎄❤️

Comment 🥛 if you get it too.

Credit: inspired the content!

30/11/2025

When abandonment has shaped your nervous system, big changes can feel threatening.

Tiny steps, repeated gently, become new pathways in your brain. It’s not about doing more (I already know your to do list is top notch). It’s about giving yourself a chance to feel a little less disconnected from your own body.

Ready to dig deeper? I have space for 1-1 therapy sessions this month. DM me or email me (link in bio) to book a free 15-minute consultation.

21/11/2025

Like I say to all my clients…. please take these as something you can fall back on, rather than a benchmark for success.

1️⃣ Start small… and I mean really small.

I’m talking the kind of small that feels almost silly at first. Unsubscribing from emails you no longer want. Cancelling that “cancel-anytime” direct debit without feeling guilty. Letting yourself make tiny decisions based on your needs, not “what will they think?”

2️⃣ Pause before seeking validation.

This one is uncomfortable because validation feels good, especially if you grew up without it. But when you rely on someone else to confirm your decisions, feelings, or experiences every single time, your nervous system learns, “I can’t trust myself without external approval.”

And listen, humans do need validation sometimes. That’s how connection, intimacy, and trust are built. But fatherless daughters often rely on validation too much, because they were never shown the other end of the spectrum: self-trust.

Pausing before seeking reassurance isn’t about depriving yourself, it’s about finding the middle ground. A few seconds of breathing can be enough to remind your body, “Let me check in with myself first.”

3️⃣ Be selfish. (Yes, really.)

This is the one that usually gets an eyebrow raise. But fatherless daughters are experts at thinking about everyone else’s feelings before their own, often before they’ve even noticed what’s happening inside them.

In sessions, I do a lot of role-reversal questions:

“What’s going on for you?”
“How do you feel when this happens?”
“What’s your actual emotional experience here?”

Sometimes the response is overwhelm. Sometimes it’s discomfort. Sometimes it’s the first time they’ve ever named their own needs out loud.

Selfishness isn’t abandoning people. It’s finally including yourself.

4️⃣ Don’t wait to feel ready or perfect.

This is one I personally have to hold myself accountable for too. If you wait until you feel ready, you’ll be waiting forever. If you wait until it’s perfect, you’ll never begin.

Showing up, speaking your truth, setting boundaries, trying something new, teaches your brain “I am enough as I am.”

20/11/2025

I feel like I should start buying shares in the “window of tolerance”. I’m starting to sound like a broken record 💿

10/10/2025

Ever catch yourself seeking endless reassurance, asking friends “but what if...” on repeat? 🤔

Truth is, gathering more opinions rarely quiets that inner chatter. Especially if you’re navigating life without a father figure, that need for certainty can feel overwhelming.

Instead of fighting those uncomfortable thoughts, what if we learned to sit with them? Like training a muscle, we can build tolerance for uncertainty - one small step at a time.

Drop a ❤️ if you’re ready to break free from the reassurance loop. Ready to dig deeper and transform these patterns? I have space for 1-1 therapy sessions this month. DM me or email me (link in bio) to book a free 15-minute consultation.

Credit:

25/09/2025

Number 5 is my favourite 💛

Parenting as a fatherless daughter comes with so many layers we don’t always talk about. The triggers, the tenderness, and the unexpected moments of believing in ourselves as a parent.

I’d love to know, which one do you relate to most?

If you want to explore more, I have space for 1-1 therapy sessions this month. DM me or email me (link in bio) to book a free 15-minute consultation.

22/09/2025

Ever catch yourself people-pleasing or feeling like you’re never quite measuring up? You’re not alone - these feelings often run deep, especially when Dad wasn’t around to mirror your worth. 💗

I see this pattern so often in my therapy room, and there’s a reason these feelings keep showing up. The good news? Understanding where they come from is the first step to change.

Swipe through for 5 powerful questions that might just shed light on why you feel this way. They’ve helped so many of my clients have their ‘aha’ moments. ✨

Ready to dig deeper and transform these patterns? I have space for 1-1 therapy sessions this month. DM me to learn more about working together.

05/09/2025

This is where therapy can help, as it gives you the space to talk about the loneliness, the guilt, and the pressure, so it doesn’t stay buried inside.

If this resonates, my doors are open. Reach out if you’d like a place to unpack what this really feels like for you.

04/09/2025

All I cared about once upon a time, was fitting in. Now all I care about is protecting my peace, in a way that still allows me to hold connection with others.

So no, you’re not imagining the craziness that’s unfolding around you. Sometimes it is about naming it what it is, with someone who gets it.

I have some new 1-1 therapy space available on a Tuesday daytime, if you’d like to explore working with me. DM or email, to start a conversation.

02/09/2025

Just a little July/August dump to give a very tiny snippet into what I’ve been doing, whilst being absent from the grid.

1. Lots of walks as a 3
2. Quality time with Dada whilst he recovered from an operation.
3. I take sleep very seriously 😂, I had to record that one
4. My first ever 15 mile running event 🏃
5. Just doing life, the bit people don’t show, food shopping all that boring but good stuff.
6. My little girl taking her first steps 🥹 I have a full on toddler now that runs riot and I’m loving every second of this stage.

As always, this is a very small glimpse into a life that’s not perfect, not aesthetically pleasing or built for picture perfect moments. I’m just a normal human being, like you, doing life in a way that feels right for me 🥰

Address

Southampton

Website

http://www.melissanoyce.com/

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