Siobhan’s Counselling Room

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Siobhan’s Counselling Room

Qualified counsellor spreading knowledge & passion | available to new clients online or in person

05/08/2023

Which stage of change are you in? A handy model for reflecting on your self-development 💖

01/08/2023

I like the grey hairs that you can see in this photo. I’m standing very firm in my decision to allow my grey hairs to come through without dyeing. Admittedly easily said when I’ve only got a few but I’m pretty sure it’s a decision I’ll stick with.

I’ve been sat here for a while reflecting on this and all that keeps going through my mind is a sort of montage of my loved ones talking about their insecurities or fears around aging or not being good enough or losing their feelings of beauty and desirability as if any of those things would make them any less special or important to me. None of that impacts what you’re worth as a person and it’s easiest to see that when you think of it in relation to those that you love. It’s harder to see it with yourself but if I’m going to sit here and preach self-acceptance, I’m going to practice it too. I’m well and truly out of patience when it comes to anything that makes us question our inherent worth 🙅🏻‍♀️

I’ve been very quiet lately. I’m very happy and proud to say that’s been because I’ve been busy busy busy with client work. I’ve had an amazing few weeks of first sessions since expanding my practice and it has been the most rewarding thing to be invited into the lives of new people.

Also I’ve been fighting off a cold for the past week or so (peep the red and stuffy nose 🤧) which in itself has been an early insight into managing my health and working hours when fully self-employed.

So to sum up: 🖕🏻meaningless societal standards, pursue what you enjoy and what gives you meaning, and take good care of yourself whilst doing so ✨

27/07/2023

I sometimes hope that we will all learn to deeply appreciate, be unconditionally curious, and respectfully love and support people with greater ease whilst they are still alive.

We have achieved the art of post-humous appreciation and melancholy adoration but I wonder if we are all still learning how to truly, unequivocally, deeply appreciate the living.

24/07/2023

I think this is a really important point. We need to look underneath the emotional experience in order to help clients. It’s all well and good having the tools to manage anxiety (for example) but if we don’t understand where that’s coming from in the first place it may keep cropping up. Whereas if we can unpick the causes then perhaps we can prevent the symptom.

Image credit:

23/07/2023

My favourite analogy to use when it comes to therapy - one I used just this morning with a client in fact!

Particularly if you’re unfamiliar with therapy, the process can feel daunting and it’s natural to not even know what it’s about or the purpose of it. It can feel counter-productive to start trawling through old memories and experiences because you may find yourself feeling even worse after doing so.

The unpacking process is hard and sometimes messy, but thinking of it as the unpacking of a suitcase can help make sense of why it’s being done. After the unpacking comes the re-packing, where you have ownership over your mental health and can decide just what to do with it all.

Speaking as someone who packs for trips literally the day before (…sometimes the day of 🫣), believe me when I say that I know how painstaking this process can be. Both the literal and metaphorical process. It’s not easy, and that’s why it’s important to take it at your own pace and have a therapist who you feel comfortable sharing the load with ✨

22/07/2023

2 things I currently refuse to shut up about:
• I’m now a full-time therapist
• My upgraded therapy room is the most beautiful room ever and I never want to leave it

These past couple of weeks have been dedicated to stepping fully into my role of a private therapist and they’ve been the most rewarding of my life ✨

24/06/2023

I’ve been hearing this question often lately and I’ve spent some time reframing the question with a client, which is what inspired me to make the post. I’m sure it’s a question we’re all familiar with, myself included!

When we make a decision that has a positive outcome, it can be wayyyy too easy to kick ourselves for not making it sooner. We can find ourselves thinking of all that time we spent not being as happy as we are now and feelings of regret are only too quick to arise from such thoughts.

It can be important to acknowledge that a decision which feels so right for us in the present only feels that way because of the experiences that led us to it. We can only truly appreciate the outcome if we also take the time to appreciate all the work it took to get there ✨

22/06/2023

For anybody looking for therapy, I can’t emphasise enough the importance of finding somebody legit. Don’t get me wrong, you’re in safe hands with the vast majority of therapists but particularly here in the UK, the industry is a bit like the Wild West in terms of regulations and training in place for therapists.

Any ethical therapist should be incredibly upfront about their regulatory body, training and the ways in which they work. If they’re not, ask. If they’re still not, run!

This isn’t a case of not vibing with your therapist or having the right fit - that can happen with even the most highly-trained and experienced therapists. This is more so a case of making sure your therapist meets even the most basic of standards to be working with you and is working in a way that doesn’t compromise your safety or wellbeing.

If it weren’t for the fact that I have trained as a therapist, I likely wouldn’t know where to start or what to look for when it comes to a therapist - it’s not the most accessible of processes. But if you follow these green flags, you should end up in the right hands ✨

20/06/2023

Therapy is not a miracle fix: if it was guaranteed to make life easy-going, I get the sense a lot more people would buy into it! Life will never be easy-going, not all the time - there will always be curveballs and stressors and painful experiences thrown at us. The power in being mentally healthy is that you have the innate knowledge that despite all that, you’ll be okay.

I will never expect my clients to walk in or out of the therapy room feeling happy. Don’t get me wrong, it’s lovely when they do! But if they’re feeling painful emotions and feeling even just a little more safe and secure when experiencing those emotions, they can consider it a win!

19/06/2023

People often say to me, before telling me something that's affecting them, "This is going to sound silly" or "you'll probably think I'm mad" etc.

It's because their worth has been diminished, they've grown up being told not to share family secrets, so as not to bring shame onto the family, or expose anyone or anything.

It happens in adult relationships too.
It happens when we adopt other people's shame.

By telling our story, in a safe, neutral and confidential space, we take that cloak of shame off.

As therapists, once the trust between us and the client has been built, people can feel able to share their experiences.

The initial shame at the thought of telling, slowly turns into liberation as the shackles fall away and we release ourselves.

❤️‍🩹

Image from Google

16/06/2023

These types of thoughts (otherwise known as cognitive distortions) can make it difficult for us to stay grounded. Cognitive distortions are a principle underlying Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), which is a type of therapy aimed at challenging such thoughts so that they have less of an impact on your emotions and behaviours.

There are a ton of cognitive distortions out there and these are only some of the most common ones. We all have them at one point or another, and changing them isn’t easy. It takes a very focused effort to catch ourselves out when we have these thoughts and consider alternative (and more grounded) ways of approaching the situation instead.

Having a therapist in place to support you with recognising them and challenging them makes the process much easier, but having an awareness of the cognitive distortions can bring you a bit further along on your self-awareness journey ✨

Address

Southend-on-Sea
SS0

Telephone

+441702668124

Website

http://mycounsellingroom.com/

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