Inner Wisdom Wellbeing - Jennifer Wedgbury

03/12/2025

✨ High expectations don’t make relationships better — they just make you tired. ✨

Most of the time, our expectations are invisible contracts we wrote that the other person never signed.

When they don’t behave how we think they “should,” guess who pays for it?

Not them — us.

We feel the frustration, the disappointment, the emotional drain.

Here’s the power move:

Shift from expecting people to be different… to accepting who they actually are.

You get your peace back.

Your energy back.

Your emotional freedom back.

Let people be themselves — and stop handing your happiness to someone else’s behaviour. 💛✨ fans

30/11/2025

Anger 😡🤬🥵

Anger feels powerful in the moment…
but the truth is, it hurts you far more than it ever hurts the person who triggered it.

Think about it:
When you’re angry,
your heart races,
your mind burns,
your peace disappears,
your day gets ruined —
all because of someone else’s words or actions.

They go on with their life.
You carry the burden.

✨ Anger is self-punishment for another person’s behavior.
You swallow the poison hoping they’ll suffer —
but it’s you who feels the pain.

This doesn’t mean you allow disrespect or stay silent in every situation.
It means you choose wisdom over reaction,
clarity over impulse,
peace over emotional chaos.

When you pause instead of explode,
you protect your mind.
When you let go instead of holding grudges,
you free your heart.
When you choose calmness,
you win without fighting.

The Buddha taught that holding onto anger is like holding a hot coal —
you burn yourself first.

Let go of anger.
Protect your peace.
Don’t punish yourself for someone else’s behavior.

27/11/2025

🌿 Let’s talk about the “Nice Guy” pattern — the one that looks gentle on the surface but feels heavy underneath.

If you’re always agreeable, always keeping the peace, always trying to be “easy to love”… it’s not a personality trait.

It’s an attachment wound wearing politeness as armour.
Most “nice guy” behaviour comes from anxious attachment or a fawning trauma response — the kind where you learned early on that being soft, helpful, and low-maintenance kept you safe.

But here’s the truth no one tells you:

✨ Niceness isn’t the same as emotional honesty.

✨ Avoiding conflict isn’t kindness.

✨ And shrinking yourself to please others eventually turns into resentment.

If you struggle to take accountability or get defensive when someone brings you feedback, it’s not because you’re bad.

It’s because accountability feels like rejection, and your nervous system panics.

Here’s where healing begins:

💛 Drop the idea of “good” or “bad.”

This isn’t about blame — it’s about understanding yourself.

💛 Focus on impact instead of shame.

“What happened, what it caused, what I can do differently.”

💛 Start practising tiny moments of honesty, even when it feels risky.

Disagreement doesn’t mean abandonment.

💛 Learn to hold your own emotions so you don’t collapse or people-please to avoid discomfort.

You’re not meant to live as a softer version of yourself.

You’re meant to live as a whole version of yourself — boundaries, needs, truth and all.

If this pattern hits home, you’re not alone.

And you’re not broken.

You’re just overdue for a power reclamation. 💛🔥

24/11/2025

It’s not what’s wrong with me — it’s what’s happened to me.

My reactions aren’t flaws, they’re evidence I survived.

Healing starts the moment we stop blaming ourselves and start honouring our story.

🙏

24/11/2025

I was asked this week by a client to help them get out of the “ Victim Pit!”

First — you’re not failing, broken, or weak.

When you’ve been betrayed, dismissed, or chronically misunderstood, your brain automatically drops into a victim/pity loop.

It’s a trauma response, not a character flaw.

But you can get out of it — and it doesn’t require suppressing your emotions or “getting over it.”

Here’s how to shift out of victim-mode safely, without shaming yourself.

❤️‍🩹 1. Understand what “victim mode” really is
It’s not self-pity.

It’s not attention-seeking.
It’s your nervous system saying:
“I’m overwhelmed, unsupported, and powerless.”

Victim mode = frozen trauma response.

You can’t think your way out of it.
You have to regulate, then act.

❤️‍🩹 2. Name the state you’re in
Instead of:

“I’m being pathetic.”
Say:

“I feel powerless right now. My body thinks I’m unsafe.”

This shifts you from blame → awareness.

When you name the state, you interrupt the loop.

❤️‍🩹 3. Give yourself a tiny dose of power.

Victim mode disappears when you take one small action that creates agency.

Examples:

Stand up and drink water
Put on shoes and step outside
Text someone “I’m having a hard moment”
Make your bed
Write one sentence about what you feel
One action tells your brain:
“I’m not stuck. I can move.”
Small action = nervous system reset.

❤️‍🩹 4. Separate the hurt part from the whole you

The “victim” feeling is just one part — usually your inner child who feels:

Abandoned
Unheard
Blamed
Alone
Unimportant

Say to yourself:

“A part of me feels helpless, and I’m going to take care of her.”

You’re not the victim —
a hurting part of you is asking for support.

❤️‍🩹 5. Replace self-pity with self-empathy

Self-empathy is NOT softness; it’s power.

Try:

“It makes sense I feel this way.”
“Anyone in my situation would struggle.”
“I’m doing the best I can with what I’ve lived through.”
Victim mode dissolves when your feelings are validated — even by you.

❤️‍🩹 6. Ask: “Where do I actually have power right now?”

Not in changing what happened.

Not in changing him / her.

But you do have power in:

Your boundaries
Your healing
Your next step
How you speak to yourself
How you respond to triggers
Who you get support from

Make a list:

What is in my control today?

Even 1–2 things shifts you out of helplessness.

❤️‍🩹 7. Stop arguing with reality
Victim mode thrives on:

“This shouldn’t have happened.”
“He shouldn’t have treated me like that.”
“It’s not fair.”
All of these are true — but they keep you stuck.

Try:

“I don’t like what happened, but I can work with what’s here.”

This frees you from the fight with reality and puts your power back in your hands.

❤️‍🩹 8. Move your body (even 30 seconds)

Trauma freezes you.

Movement unfreezes you.

Shake your hands
Walk quickly for 1 minute
Put on a song and move gently
Stretch your arms overhead
Powerlessness is physical.
So is getting out of it.

If you feel like you are in the “ Victim Pit “ right now and you are struggling to find a way out, drop me a message for my free guide.

Jenny x

17/11/2025

“My approach blends therapy, coaching, NLP, hypnosis and nervous system regulation.

Together we focus on root causes, behaviour patterns, and building emotional safety so you can move forward in a way that feels grounded and sustainable.”

Inner Wisdom Wellbeing offers holistic health & wellness services in the UK, empowering individuals to achieve balance & vitality in mind, body & spirit.

14/11/2025

✨ What Boundaries Really Are!!!

Boundaries are the limits you set around what you will and won’t accept—emotionally, physically, mentally, and energetically.

They are not rules for how others must behave.

They are guidelines for how you will respond if a limit is crossed.

Think of them as:

Your personal space

Your energy protection

Your values and needs in action

Your instructions for how to treat you.

Boundaries are ultimately about self-respect + self-responsibility.

✨ What Boundaries Are NOT

Many people misunderstand boundaries.

They are not:

Controlling others
Punishment
Ultimatums
Walls
Emotional withdrawal
Being “cold” or “selfish”
Healthy boundaries are actually a form of connection, because they make relationships safer, clearer, and more predictable.

✨ The 4 Types of Boundaries

1. Physical

Your body, space, privacy.
“I don’t want to be hugged right now.”

2. Emotional

Your feelings, capacity, emotional responsibilities.
“I can listen, but I can’t take this on right now.”

3. Time and Energy

Your availability and bandwidth.
“I’m not free Thursday, but I can speak Sunday.”

4. Mental / Values

Your beliefs, needs, preferences.
“I’m not discussing politics today.”

✨ How Do We Apply Boundaries? (Simple Process)

1. Notice what feels off in your body

Your body tells you before your mind does.

Red flags include:

Tight chest

Drained energy

Resentment

Feeling pulled or pressured

Irritation

Feeling invisible

These sensations are often signals of a boundary needing attention.

2. Identify what you need or want
Ask:

What’s the need behind this feeling?

What would help me feel safe?

What’s my limit here?

It might be space, clarity, respect, time, quiet, honesty, or autonomy.

3. Express the boundary with clarity + calm

“I feel… When… What I need is…”

Example:

“I feel overwhelmed when plans change last minute.

What I need is at least a few hours’ notice.”

Or this version:

“That doesn’t work for me. Here’s what does…”

4. Follow through with action (the real boundary)

A boundary is only real when you enforce it.

That might mean:

Leaving the room
Ending the call
Saying no
Creating distance
Rescheduling
Refusing to engage in an argument
Stopping over-giving
The follow-through is what trains people how to treat you.

5. Hold the boundary consistently
You don’t have to repeat it 20 times.

But you do need to stay consistent with your actions.

Boundaries without consistency create confusion—for you and others.

✨ Examples of Healthy Boundary Statements

Emotional 🥲

“I can talk for 10 minutes, then I need to rest.”

“I won’t continue this conversation if we’re shouting.”
Time/Energy

“I’m not available last minute; I need notice.”

“No, thank you. That doesn't work for me.”

Physical

“I need a bit more space right now.”

Mental/Values

“I respect your opinion, but I see it differently.”

✨ Why Boundaries Feel Hard

People often struggle because:

They fear conflict

They fear being disliked

They grew up with poor or no boundaries

They were taught to people-please

They feel guilty putting themselves first

They unconsciously absorb others’ emotions

Boundaries bring up old wounds—but setting them is how you heal.

❤️

12/11/2025

Working Mindfully with Criticism
🌈🙏🌈

For most if us, criticism can feel like an attack — a tightening in the chest, a familiar voice in the mind whispering, “You’re not good enough.”

Through meditation I’ve come to understand a gentler truth.

Most criticism, whether it comes from others or from within, can often be translated into a simple statement:

“You are not living in a way that I would prefer.”

Recognising this changed everything.

It allowed me to step back, to soften, and to stop taking every comment or opinion so personally.

Because of course, I am not here to live according to someone else’s preferences — and they are not here to live according to mine.

However, meditation and mindfulness also teaches that not all criticism should be dismissed.

Some feedback carries a quiet signal — an invitation to reflect, realign, and grow.

In Buddhist psychology, two inner qualities known as hiri and ottappa are described as the
🌟“bright guardians of the world.”

Hiri
represents our inner conscience — that intuitive awareness that recognises when our actions fall out of harmony with our values.

Ottappa is our wise awareness of consequences — not the fear that paralyses us, but the mindful caution that encourages care and integrity.

Together, they remind us that some criticism is meant to stir discomfort — not as punishment, but as a prompt for growth.

It helps us return to what is truthful, kind, and ethical.

Meditation and Mindfulness invites us to find the middle way:

Not to reject all criticism, nor to absorb it unquestioningly,
but to meet it with curiosity and self-awareness.

To listen without collapsing.

To feel without defending.

And to discern with honesty, compassion, and balance.

12/11/2025

Are you feeling numb right now?

💫 Understanding Emotional Numbing.

Sometimes when life feels too painful or overwhelming, our mind protects us by turning down our emotions.

You might notice that you can’t cry, don’t feel much joy, or it’s hard to connect with others — even though part of you wants to feel again.

This is called emotional numbing.
It’s not that you don’t care or aren’t trying — it’s that your nervous system has gone into protection mode.

When we’ve experienced stress, grief, trauma, or long periods of emotional strain, the brain learns that feeling less is safer.

So it gently “switches off” feelings to help you cope and survive.

At one time, this response helped you.

It kept you functioning when things felt too much.

But over time, it can leave you feeling disconnected, flat, or distant — from yourself, from others, and from life.

🌱 How to Begin Reconnecting with Your Emotions.

Healing emotional numbing isn’t about forcing feelings to come back.

It’s about teaching your body and mind that it’s safe to feel again, slowly and with kindness.

Here are some gentle ways to begin:

Notice sensations in your body.
Pay attention to how your body feels — warmth, tightness, tingling, or stillness.

This helps reconnect your mind and body, which is where emotions live.

Create moments of safety.

Spend time in calming spaces or with people who make you feel grounded and accepted.
Safety allows emotions to surface naturally.

Use grounding practices.

Try deep breathing, gentle stretching, or mindful walks to remind your body you’re safe in the present.

Express, even a little.

Journal, draw, move, or listen to music that matches your mood. Expression helps emotions find a way out.

Be patient.

Emotions may return slowly, in layers.

This isn’t a setback — it’s your system learning trust again.

Seek support.

Working with a therapist or healing practitioner can help you feel safe exploring emotions and rebuilding connection.

💖 A gentle reminder:

Feeling is not weakness — it’s aliveness.

Your emotional world is meant to move, flow, and inform you.

When you start to feel again, even small shifts, it’s a sign your body is healing and trusting life once more.

11/11/2025

🌿 Avoidant Attachment Can Sometimes Be Mistaken for Narcissism 🌿

In relationships, avoidant attachment can often appear similar to narcissistic traits — yet the underlying motivations are very different.

An avoidantly attached person may:

Withdraw emotionally when closeness feels uncomfortable.

Struggle to express vulnerability or empathy in the moment.

Appear self-focused or dismissive of others’ needs.

Seek control or independence as a way to feel safe.

To those on the receiving end, these behaviours can feel rejecting, cold, or even self-absorbed.

However, avoidant attachment is not driven by a lack of care — it’s a protective response.

It often develops from early experiences where emotional needs weren’t safely met.

The individual learns to rely on self-sufficiency and to distance from emotional intimacy as a form of protection.

While narcissism is rooted in a need for admiration and validation, avoidant attachment is rooted in a fear of closeness, vulnerability, and rejection.

Healing begins with awareness and compassion — recognising the why behind the behaviour.

When we understand attachment patterns, we can begin to respond rather than react, creating safer and more connected relationships. 💚

11/11/2025

Put a smile on that little face !!!

Throw back your shoulders , hold your head, and do not let the world know that you are unhappy.

As a child people were often told this repeatedly - our emotions suppressed and how we really felt underneath wasn’t even spoken about.

Often it can hurt to smile if the feeling underneath is sadness , anger, confusion, or any other kind of pain.

Sometimes it feels good to drop the mask frown, be angry, sad, in other words be real.

30/10/2025

You see, trauma is a common experience that many people face in their lives, and it can have long-lasting effects on our mental and physical health.

Unlock your inner triggers and start your healing journey today!

Find out more

Inner Wisdom Wellbeing offers holistic health & wellness services in the UK, empowering individuals to achieve balance & vitality in mind, body & spirit.