Nicola Clarke Counselling and Psychotherapy

08/11/2025

I find watching the sunset incredibly peaceful and managed to capture, what I see, as a stairway to heaven in this photo (zoom in). As many of you know, I lost my dad to cancer, and it’s been 10 years next month, I had tears in my eyes and felt that part of him was also sharing that moment with me. Even though 10 years have passed, it can often feel like yesterday. Grief doesn’t end, it changes.

01/11/2025

I’m taking a short break from my counselling practice next week to press pause and relax 🥰. I will be back again from 13th November.

Rest as a Ther**eutic Practice

In counselling, we often explore how rest is more than simply “taking a break.” Rest is a vital part of emotional regulation and trauma recovery. When the nervous system is given permission to pause, it can shift from survival mode into a state where healing and integration become possible.

Rest may take many forms:

• Allowing the body to slow down and notice the breath

• Creating boundaries that protect time for stillness

• Engaging in restorative activities that soothe rather than stimulate

• Practicing self‑compassion when the urge to “push through” arises

A helpful reminder : rest is not avoidance, it is a way of listening to the body. By honouring rest, we strengthen our capacity to meet life’s challenges with clarity, resilience, and balance.

10/10/2025

World Mental Health Day 2025

Today is a reminder that mental health deserves space, attention, and care every day, not just once a year.

In my counselling practice, I work with people navigating trauma, overwhelm, and the quiet work of emotional regulation. Healing isn’t linear, and it doesn’t need to be loud. Sometimes it’s just about finding a moment of calm, a breath that feels safe, or a resource that helps you feel a little more like yourself.

If you’re struggling, you’re not alone.
If you’re healing, you’re doing enough.
If you’re supporting others, thank you.

Let’s keep making mental health visible, valid, and supported.

15/07/2025

01/07/2025

🎨 Creative Counselling: A Path to Healing Through Expression

In my practice, I believe healing isn’t one-size-fits-all, some emotions are too complex for words alone. That’s where creative counselling steps in.

Whether it’s through guided imagery, metaphor, journaling, or visual exploration, these creative tools help clients safely express what might feel “too much” or “not enough” to say out loud. They invite curiosity, deepen self-awareness, and honour each person’s unique journey.

It’s not about being artistic—it’s about finding new ways to feel, understand, and transform.

If you’ve ever felt stuck in traditional talk therapy or want a more holistic approach to healing, creative counselling could be your next step.

Curious to explore how this could support you, send me a message and we can arrange an introduction call.

24/06/2025

I’m in the process of redesigning my website and will be adding some self help tools and resources to download. Are there any areas of interest you would like me to consider?

15/06/2025

💙 Father’s Day and the Many Emotions It Holds 💙

Today is Father’s Day—a day of love, celebration, and gratitude. But for many, it can also bring waves of grief, sadness, loss, anger or even resentment. There is no single way to feel today, and however you experience it, your emotions are valid.

For me, this day holds both deep joy and sorrow as I was blessed with an incredible father who shaped so much of who I am today. His guidance and love were gifts I carry every day, but with that love comes grief, as it has now been nearly a decade since I lost him to cancer.

It was through navigating my own pain that I found my path as a counsellor. Many counsellors are called "wounded healers,” those who transform personal loss into purpose, using their own journey to hold space for others. If today feels heavy, you are not alone. Grief does not mean forgetting—it means remembering with love.

💙 Give yourself kindness.
💙 Honor the emotions that arise.
💙 Your experience is yours—whatever it looks like

If you need support, I am here for you.

06/06/2025

Understanding Anxiety

Anxiety is often misunderstood, but at its core, it’s a signal—a response to experiences, thoughts, and emotions that may feel overwhelming. If you’ve ever felt trapped in spiraling worry, racing thoughts, or a deep sense of unease, you are not alone.

Trauma & Unprocessed Pain

Past experiences, especially from childhood, shape how we respond to stress. Trauma can linger, showing up as anxiety in everyday life.

Perfectionism & Self-Doubt

The pressure to ‘get it right’ or the fear of falling short can create an internal struggle that feeds anxiety.

Change & Uncertainty

Life’s transitions, even positive ones, can be unsettling. When we feel out of control, anxiety often steps in.

Loneliness & Disconnection

Feeling unseen or unsupported can heighten anxious thoughts. Connection is a powerful antidote to fear.

If you’re navigating anxiety, know that your feelings are valid and you deserve space to explore them with patience and self-compassion. Healing isn’t about eliminating anxiety—it’s about learning how to move through it with understanding, care, and support.

02/06/2025

Perfectionism might seem like a positive trait—after all, striving to do your best can be admirable. But when it becomes a relentless pursuit of flawlessness, it can take a serious toll on mental health and well-being. Here are some of the key negative impacts:

1. Anxiety & Stress

Perfectionism creates constant pressure to meet impossibly high standards, leading to chronic stress and anxiety. The fear of making mistakes can become overwhelming, making even small tasks feel daunting.

2. Procrastination & Avoidance

Ironically, perfectionism can lead to inaction. When the fear of failure is intense, people may delay tasks or avoid them entirely, feeling paralyzed by the need for perfection.

3. Low Self-Esteem & Self-Criticism

Perfectionists often set unrealistic expectations for themselves, and when they fall short (which is inevitable), they can become harshly self-critical. This erodes confidence and reinforces feelings of inadequacy.

4. Relationship Struggles

Perfectionism can impact relationships by creating unrealistic expectations—whether for oneself or others. It might lead to difficulty accepting imperfection in loved ones, or a reluctance to be vulnerable for fear of judgment.

5. Burnout & Exhaustion

Constantly striving for perfection can be mentally and physically exhausting. Over time, this can lead to burnout, where motivation and energy are depleted, making it harder to engage with daily life.

6. Difficulty in Healing & Growth

In a counselling context, perfectionism can be a barrier to healing. It may prevent individuals from embracing self-compassion, acknowledging progress, or accepting that healing is a nonlinear process.

The antidote to perfectionism isn’t complacency—it’s self-compassion, flexibility, and recognizing progress over perfection. Learning to embrace imperfection can be a powerful step toward greater well-being.

25/05/2025

This is my ‘go-to’ place where my mind can be free. I didn’t actually notice the cloud formation until I looked at my photo, quite dramatic!! Do you have somewhere you go that feels calm and peaceful? Life can be chaotic at times and being able to escape the noise is good for our mental health 🥰

22/05/2025

Finding Your Voice: The Power of Self-Validation in Healing

When we’ve experienced trauma, it’s common to seek validation from others—wondering, ‘Do they believe me? Do they think I’m enough?’

But true healing happens when you shift from ‘external validation’ to ‘internal self-trust’.

🚦 External Locus of Evaluation:

🔹 Depending on others for reassurance
🔹 Doubting your own emotions & decisions
🔹 Feeling disconnected from your inner self

🌱 Internal Locus of Evaluation:

✨ Trusting that your feelings matter
✨ Recognising your own worth—without external approval
✨ Rebuilding self-confidence, step by step

Trauma may have silenced your voice, but therapy is about ‘reclaiming it’. You deserve to feel safe, heard, and empowered in your own story.

💛 Ready to start your healing journey? Let’s take the next step together 💛

02/05/2025

Anger—it’s real, it’s human, and it’s okay to feel.

We often think of anger as something to push down, to hide, to avoid. But anger isn’t a flaw—it’s a signal. It tells us when something isn’t right, when we need to set boundaries, when something deep within us needs care.

The key isn’t to suppress it—it’s to understand it. To sit with it. To ask, ‘why am I feeling this’?

Anger can be loud, but it can also be a quiet invitation to grow, to heal, to stand up for ourselves with kindness and strength.