Cosmic coaching

16/11/2025

Time to heal the feminine and masculine ♥️💚

16/11/2025

Find a space to rest. 15 minutes in quiet.

When I last visited ,i was guided to offer these sessions 💚

15 minutes of remote healing. To restore, rebalance and help shift any fears we have holding is back.

A looong process over six years to get to this

2026 will see significant shifts outside and within.

Message for further info

Payment 15.00.

16/11/2025

16/11/2025

Signs are everywhere 🙏👀we often miss what is right infront of us 👁️

Syncronicitys,

Angel numbers

Penny's

Feathers

A random conversation with a stranger 💭

Delays

Obstacles

All a nudge to tell you something 🙏🌟

16/11/2025

🙏

For most of my life, I understood my father's absence as a simple fact, a quiet void I had learned to navigate. It wasn't until I stumbled upon Susan E. Schwartz's book that I realized that void had a shape, a name, and a profound, lingering echo in my adult life. The Absent Father Effect on Daughters is not a self-help book with a ten-step program; it is a deep, Jungian-informed exploration of the psychological archetype of the father and the complex legacy his physical or emotional absence leaves on a woman's psyche. Reading this book felt like someone had finally handed me a map to a secret, internal landscape I had been wandering lost in for decades.

Schwartz, a Jungian analyst, approaches the subject with a scholar's depth and a therapist's compassion. She argues that the father represents the "principle of spirit" in a daughter's life—the bridge to the outside world, the source of a sense of personal validity, and the model for her future relationships with men. When this figure is absent, a daughter is often left with a fractured sense of self, struggling with issues of trust, self-worth, and a feeling of being "unseen." The book is rich with clinical case studies and insights from mythology and fairy tales, which Schwartz uses to illustrate common patterns, such as the daughter who becomes a perpetual "good girl" seeking approval or the one who falls into a pattern of seeking validation through romantic relationships. This book didn't offer me easy fixes, but it provided the single most important thing: understanding. It gave a language to my silent struggles and normalized the hidden grief I had carried, transforming my perception from one of personal failure to one of archetypal patterning.

10 Lessons and Insights from "The Absent Father Effect on Daughters":

1. The Father is the "Second Other": After the primary bond with the mother, the father is the crucial "second other" who helps a daughter separate, individuate, and develop a confident identity in the wider world.

2. Absence is Not Just Physical: The "absent father" can be physically present but emotionally distant, critical, unreliable, or passive, creating the same internal void as a physical absence.

3. The "Inner Father" is Forged in the Void: A daughter creates an internal image of the father, which, when based on absence, is often negative or idealized, shaping her self-perception and expectations of men.

4. The Search for the "Male Gaze": Daughters of absent fathers often spend their lives seeking the validation, approval, and "seeing" they did not receive from their father, sometimes through achievements or in their choice of partners.

5. A Fractured Sense of Self-Worth: Without the foundational validation from a father, a woman's sense of her own value can become fragile, overly dependent on external affirmation.

6. The Archetype of the "Wounded Father": Schwartz uses myths and stories to show how the theme of the ineffective or missing father is a universal human pattern, connecting personal pain to a larger, shared human experience.

7. Difficulty with Trust and Boundaries: The primary male figure's unreability can lead to a deep-seated difficulty in trusting men and in establishing healthy, secure boundaries in adult relationships.

8. The "Good Girl" and the "Rebel" are Two Sides of the Same Coin: These are common coping mechanisms—trying to earn love through perfection or rejecting authority figures altogether—both rooted in the unhealed father-daughter dynamic.

9. Healing Involves Separating the Man from the Archetype: Recovery requires differentiating the flawed, human man who was your father from the powerful, internal "father archetype" that influences your life.

10. Reclaiming Your Own Authority: The ultimate goal of healing is to internalize the "father principle" for yourself—to become your own source of validation, direction, and spirit, no longer looking for a man to fill a role your father could not.

BOOK: https://amzn.to/47Sf7na

You can ENJOY the AUDIOBOOK for FREE (When you register for Audible Membership Trial) using the same link above.

15/11/2025

Use your intuition 🎉

It is there for a reason♥️

Don't ignore it 🙏

You are specially designed with intuition built in

Your intuition is when your soul speaks

Always listen 👂to your intuition

15/11/2025

🙏

THE LYMPHATIC SYSTEM OF A GRIEVER — Post 1/30🌿

“When Grief Sits in the Body”

A healing series by Lymphatica

Tonight, I am not writing as a therapist.
Not as a practitioner.
Not as someone who teaches healing for a living.

Tonight, I am writing as a daughter.
A daughter who lost her mother.
A daughter who has carried a grief so heavy that her body could no longer hold its own weight.

Because there is a truth I cannot keep silent anymore:
My grief did not stay in my heart — it broke into my body.

And if you have ever lost someone you love, maybe your body knows this truth too.

🌿 When Grief Lives Inside the Body Before It Finds Words

There is a silence after losing someone that does not feel peaceful.
It feels like a collapse.
A drowning.
A falling into yourself with no way to stop the descent.

When my mother died, the world kept spinning as if nothing happened…
but inside my body, something shattered.

Before I even knew how to speak my pain, my lymphatic system was already speaking it for me:

My lymph nodes swelled.
My underarms became puffy.
My chest tightened.
My gut twisted.
My exhaustion became bone-deep.

I felt as if my whole body was carrying a sadness that had nowhere to go.

Only later did I understand:

Grief is not only emotional.
Grief is physical.
Grief is cellular.
Grief is lymphatic.

🌿 Why Grief Slows the Lymphatic System — The Science of Missing Someone

When the heart breaks, the body goes into a kind of survival that does not feel like survival at all.

1️⃣ Breathing becomes shallow.

Your vagus nerve tightens.
Your diaphragm locks.
Your neck and chest stiffen.
And these are the very places where major lymph pathways live.
When they tighten, they close.

2️⃣ The immune system becomes overloaded.

Cortisol rises.
Inflammation simmers quietly.
The lymph thickens.
Everything becomes heavy.

3️⃣ The nervous system freezes.

Not because you don’t feel —
but because feeling becomes unbearable.
The fascia traps emotion.
The lymph tries to carry memories, longing, pain…
and eventually collapses under the weight.

Your body mourns right alongside your heart.

🌿 The Part I’ve Never Said Publicly… Until Now

This is the hardest part to admit.

But I believe — with every cell in me —
that the grief I carried after losing my mother did not just hurt me emotionally.

It changed my body.
It changed my health.
It changed the trajectory of my life.

I cannot make medical claims.
But I can speak my truth:

I believe my grief contributed to the illness that followed—
to my thyroid cancer…
to the years of fear and uncertainty…
and eventually to the brain surgery that changed everything.

My body was not just “sick.”
My body was broken by longing.
Broken by trauma.
Broken by a sadness too large for the lymphatic system to carry alone.

I look back now and see it clearly:

The grief was too heavy.
And my body broke trying to hold it.

🌿 Grief Made Me a Patient Before I Was a Healer

There were months where I helped people heal while I was falling apart.
Where I drained lymph while my own lymphatic system was drowning in fatigue.
Where I taught breathing while I felt suffocated.
Where I stood strong for others while collapsing silently inside.

I have never felt more human.
More vulnerable.
More aware that even healers need healing.

Sometimes I still reach for my mother in small, automatic ways—
in victories, in moments of fear, in the quiet hours of the night.
And every time, a part of me aches:

“Mom, are you seeing what I am becoming?”
“Would you be proud of the woman I am today?”

This longing…
this unspoken conversation…
this ache that never fully disappears…

It sits in the lymph.
It sits in the tissues.
It sits in the breath.

🌿 Why This Series Matters

Because grief is not a moment —
it is a biology.
A chemistry.
A physical shift in the way your body survives.

If you have ever wondered:

“Why am I so swollen?”
“Why am I always tired?”
“Why does my chest feel tight?”
“Why does my body hurt more since I lost them?”

I want you to hear me:

💚 You are not imagining it.
💚 You are not weak.
💚 Your lymphatic system is grieving with you.
💚 Your body is trying to carry the love you lost.

And your body is allowed to mourn.

This series will help you understand
why grief affects your lymph,
why your symptoms feel heavier,
and how to gently guide your body back into safety —
not through force, but through tenderness.

🌿 **Tonight, I honour my mother…

and the body that survived losing her.**

And if you have ever lost someone —
no matter how long ago —
I want to whisper this:

Your lymph remembers them because your love was real.
Your body aches because the bond was deep.
But your body can heal, slowly, softly, beautifully.
And you do not have to walk this journey alone.

I am walking it with you.
With grace, gentleness, faith, and understanding.

Bianca 🤍
Lymphatica 🌿

14/11/2025

I once had a doctor look at my chart and ask, "So, the trauma is in the past?" I didn't have the words then. I just remember the thrumming in my own veins, the way my shoulders would lock for no reason, the stomach that felt like a clenched fist days after an argument. My body knew what my mind was trying to bury. It was a living, breathing archive of every shock my system had ever endured.

Reading Bessel van der Kolk's "The Body Keeps the Score" is like being handed the key to that archive. This book is not just a text on trauma; it is a radical re-envisioning of the mind-body connection. Van der Kolk, a pioneering psychiatrist and researcher, lays out, with devastating clarity and profound compassion, how trauma literally rewires the brain and gets trapped in the body, not as a memory, but as a physical, present-tense reality.

1. Trauma is a Civil War Within the Self
Van der Kolk’s central thesis is that trauma is not the story of something that happened back then. It is a physiological state to be re-lived. The brain's alarm system gets stuck on 'on,' leaving the body in a constant state of defense, at war with its own senses, its own safety. The past is not past; it is an ever-present physiological emergency.

2. The Mind Can Lie, But the Body Always Tells the Truth
We can construct narratives to survive, to make the unbearable seem neat. But the body refuses to be edited. It speaks in the language of migraines, autoimmune flares, chronic pain, and a heart that races in a quiet room. Healing begins when we stop arguing with the story and start listening to the flesh.

3. The Path Out is Through the Body, Not Just the Mind
Talk therapy can only take you so far when your body is still on the battlefield. Van der Kolk presents a powerful array of somatic therapies—yoga, EMDR, neurofeedback, and sensorimotor psychotherapy—that bypass the storytelling brain to speak directly to the nervous system. The goal is to teach the body that the danger is over, and that it is safe to inhabit itself again.

4. The Emotional Brain is Held Hostage
Trauma fundamentally alters brain structure. It hijacks the rational, "thinking" part of the brain (the prefrontal cortex) and gives ultimate authority to the emotional, survival brain (the amygdala). This is why traumatized people can't just "calm down" or "think rationally." Their brain's command center has been overthrown.

5. Trauma Shatters the Sense of Self
A core wound of trauma is the loss of ownership of one's body and mind. Survivors often feel disconnected, numb, or as if they are watching their life from a distance (dissociation). Healing, therefore, is not just about processing a memory, but about reclaiming the self—the right to feel, to desire, and to be present in one's own skin.

6. The Power of Rhythm and Relationship
Van der Kolk highlights two of the most fundamental regulators of our nervous system: rhythmic movement (like drumming, dancing, or swimming) and attuned, safe relationships. These are primal sources of comfort that can help re-regulate a dysregulated system and rebuild a sense of connection that trauma destroyed.

7. Trauma is Transmitted and Collective
The book extends beyond individual experience to explore how trauma can ripple through families (as in generational trauma) and entire societies. The body of a culture, like the body of a person, can hold the score of historical atrocities, shaping behaviors and health for generations.

8. The Limitations of Medication and Talk Therapy Alone
While sometimes necessary, van der Kolk argues that medication often just numbs the symptoms, and traditional talk therapy can sometimes re-traumatize by forcing a person to relive the event without providing the bodily tools to process it. True integration requires a bottom-up approach, starting with the body's physiology.

9. Healing is the Recovery of Play and Imagination
Trauma makes the world a terrifying and predictable place. Recovery involves rediscovering the capacity for play, creativity, and imagination. These are not frivolous; they are biological imperatives that allow for flexibility, spontaneity, and the creation of new, safe experiences.

10. You Can Re-write the Score
The book’s ultimate message is one of profound hope. Neuroplasticity means the brain can change. The body can learn new rhythms. While the scar of trauma remains, the debilitating pain does not have to. We are not condemned to be prisoners of our past. We can learn to live in the present, with a body that is no longer an enemy, but a trusted ally.

There is a line in the book that serves as a guiding light for the entire work: "The body keeps the score, and the body can be the door to the healing process." "The Body Keeps the Score" is a monumental, essential, and life-changing book. It is for anyone who has ever felt trapped by their own physiology, for anyone who has been told "it's all in your head," and for anyone who seeks to understand the deepest roots of human suffering and resilience. It is a difficult, often painful read, but it is also a map—the most comprehensive and compassionate one we have—leading out of the wilderness of trauma and back home to the self.

BOOK: https://amzn.to/4nJdTR7

You can ENJOY the AUDIOBOOK for FREE (When you register for Audible Membership Trial) using the same link above.