17/12/2025
Ever been in one of those moments where your child is struggling and instead of offering yourself comfort, you turn inward with blame?
You replay what you said.
You label yourself as “not good enough.”
And you wonder why you can’t just be kinder to yourself.
Save this post if self-compassion still feels out of reach even when you know it matters.
Self-compassion doesn’t feel natural for many mothers because it was never taught.
If self-attacking thoughts come easily, it’s not because you’re broken, it’s because you were trained to believe that love is earned and mistakes mean failure.
But self-compassion isn’t a personality trait.
It’s a skill. One your brain can learn.
Here’s how you start retraining it:
➤ Your body might read kindness as unsafe.
If comfort was inconsistent or conditional growing up, being gentle with yourself might trigger suspicion, not relief.
Try this: Imagine speaking to yourself like you would your child after a meltdown. Your nervous system learns safety through repetition, not logic.
➤ Shame isn't motivation. It’s overwhelm in disguise.
Many mums stay in self-judgment to avoid facing what really hurts.
Instead, practise “supportive accountability”: “I didn’t handle that how I wanted to… and I’m learning.” One sentence that changes the script.
➤ Your inner critic is loud but it’s not your only voice.
Start with one micro-moment a day: place your hand on your heart and say, “You’re trying. And that matters.”
What if the key to feeling more in control isn’t working harder but speaking to yourself like you deserve healing too?
DM me and I’ll send you the link to book a 1:1 call so you can rebuild your self-trust, calm your mind, and parent from a place of peace, not pressure.
