03/12/2025
The more we can understand why we are, we can begin to understand and heal who we are.
www.affinitycounsellingwithjo.co.uk
1. Your Nervous System Was Built in Childhood
Before you had language, your body was already learning:
“Is love safe?”
“Is comfort available?”
“Is the world predictable… or dangerous?”
If you grew up around chaos, shouting, silent treatment, neglect, or emotional distance, your nervous system wired itself for survival, not safety. That wiring doesn’t disappear, it follows you.
🔹 2. Your Attachment Blueprint Was Formed Before Age 12
Whether you chase love… avoid love… fear love… or struggle to keep it, you learned that from the emotional climate you grew up in.
Your adult relationships aren’t random.
They mirror the love you were taught to accept.
🔹 3. Childhood Wounds Hide Inside Adult Behaviors
You think it’s “just anxiety.”
You think it’s “just insecurities.”
You think it’s “just a type.”
But psychology calls them:
Unmet needs. Emotional neglect. Attachment wounds. Nervous system memory.
Adults don’t randomly:
• overthink
• shut down
• chase emotionally unavailable people
• fear abandonment
• struggle with boundaries
• over-apologize
• numb feelings
• feel unworthy
These are childhood defense mechanisms showing up in adult form.
4. Trauma Isn’t Only What Happened, It’s What Was Missing
Most people say “I wasn’t abused.”
But emotional neglect, lack of affection, lack of protection, and lack of validation shape you just as deeply.
A child who never felt “held” grows into an adult who never feels “safe.”
5. Childhood Becomes Adulthood When Left Unhealed
Your childhood becomes your:
• triggers
• fears
• attachment style
• coping mechanisms
• relationship patterns
• self-worth
• emotional reactions
Not because you’re broken but because the child in you never got what they needed.
✨ The Truth
No, not everything goes back to childhood but the most painful patterns often do.
Because the body keeps score. The brain remembers. And the emotional wounds you weren’t allowed to talk about…show up as the behaviors you can’t explain today.
You’re not dramatic.
You’re not “too much.”
You’re not damaged.
You’re carrying a story no one helped you process.
If this felt uncomfortably accurate, it’s because your inner child is asking to be seen.
✨ I Didn’t Choose to Be Born — for childhood trauma, emotional neglect & inner child healing.
✨ Chasing Love That Hurts — for breaking patterns that come from unmet childhood needs.
Choose the one you need today here: https://linktr.ee/traumatorecovery 💛
