29/01/2026
Many counsellors say it - sometimes confidently, sometimes cautiously:
“I don’t really do inner child work.”
Often it comes with good reasons: it feels fluffy, it’s not my modality, I’m present-focused, I worry about dependency. Fair enough.
But from an attachment-informed lens, it’s worth pausing and asking (gently, no judgement):
What might that stance be protecting?
Because inner-child dynamics are already at play, whether we name them or not. They show up when clients fear disappointing us, seek reassurance, feel shame for “not doing therapy properly”, or suddenly go quiet, compliant, overwhelmed… small.
If we don’t work with that consciously, it doesn’t disappear - it just becomes unspoken and unmanaged.
Sometimes the reluctance is ethical. Sometimes it’s personal. Inner child work brings us close to need, longing, vulnerability, dependency, fear of abandonment - and that can stir the therapist’s own attachment system too.
Yes, done too quickly, it can be destabilising. But the answer isn’t avoidance. It’s pacing, containment, and skill.
And boundaries? Inner child work doesn’t have to blur them - often it clarifies them, because needs are acknowledged rather than acted out.
💬 What happens inside you when a client becomes younger, needier, or more vulnerable in the room?
Read the full blog: 👉 https://optimahealthservices.co.uk/i-dont-do-inner-child-work/
