InnerFocus Therapy

25/04/2026

Bit of a recap of previous posts to match my last post about stress management

23/04/2026

Stress feels overwhelming when everything sits in your mind as one giant problem. A simple way to manage it is to sort your stress into three categories:

1️⃣ Controllable — Act Now
If it’s something you can control, fix, or take responsibility for right now, do it.
Send the email. Make the call. Start the task. Take the first step.
Action reduces stress because it removes the problem.

2️⃣ Uncontrollable (For Now) — Schedule It
Some things matter but can’t be fixed today. Waiting for a reply, a meeting next week, a decision from someone else.
Instead of worrying repeatedly, schedule when you’ll deal with it. Put it in your calendar and let your mind rest until then.

3️⃣ Hypothetical — Let It Go
“What if this goes wrong?”
“What if they think this?”
“What if something bad happens?”
If the situation is unlikely or purely hypothetical, write it down and move your attention somewhere productive. Your brain is trying to protect you, but not every possibility deserves your energy.

✨ Most stress disappears when we stop treating every thought like an urgent problem.

Sort it. Act on it. Schedule it. Or release it.

it go

21/04/2026

Not everyone is ADHD or autistic — but everyone experiences some of the traits at times. That’s because many of these behaviours are part of being human.
• Difficulty focusing
• Interrupting
• Sensory sensitivity
• Wanting routine
• Feeling overwhelmed when plans change

These are common experiences, not inherently pathological.
What makes ADHD or autism different isn’t the presence of traits — it’s the pattern:
• how often they occur
• how intense they are
• how early they began (must be lifelong)
• how much they impact day-to-day functioning
• whether they’re consistent across contexts (work, home, relationships, leisure)

Some people experience frequent, intense traits that affect daily life — but if these aren’t lifelong or are situation-specific, it’s important to consider other explanations, such as mental health difficulties or early trauma, which can present similarly.

For context:
ADHD occurs in ~2.5–4% of adults
Autism in ~1–2%

In the UK (~69.5 million):
• ADHD ≈ 1.5–2.5 million
• Autism ≈ 700,000–1.4 million

Both are widely underdiagnosed — especially in adults, women, and those with strong coping strategies.

So what we’re seeing isn’t “everyone suddenly has it” — it’s more people recognising longstanding patterns and seeking assessment at the same time.

Why does it feel so common?
• Increased awareness
• More people seeking assessment (“wave” effect)
• Algorithms → more of what you engage with
• Homophily → clustering with similar people
• Language shift → naming previously unnamed experiences

Masking also matters — many people compensate or hide difficulties, so impact isn’t always visible.

So yes — traits are universal. But neurodevelopmental conditions are about degree, persistence, and impact.

It’s not that everyone has it — it’s that we’re better at recognising what was already there.

10/04/2026

09/04/2026

07/04/2026

The Four-Hob Life

We're told to "have it all." But nobody mentions the fuel tank runs finite.

Think of your energy like gas on a stove. You've got four burners: Health, Family, Work, Social Life. The marketing says turn them all to maximum. The reality? Your flame sputters. One goes out. Or worse—everything burns at half-strength and nothing truly nourishes.

Here's what I've learned: It's not about balance. It's about intention.

Some seasons demand the work burner roar. Others require family to take centre stage. There are times when health needs the heat, and moments when saying "no" to social obligations is the most loving thing you can do.

The guilt comes from thinking you're failing when you choose. But choosing is the point.

Ask yourself today: Which hob needs the flame right now? And what are you willing to dim to light it?

05/04/2026

You are not stuck still - you can get up move and do something about it.

03/04/2026

Sometimes periods of uncertainty can feel like falling out of a plane.
The ground feels far away.� The direction isn’t clear.� And the sense of control can feel lost.
In these moments, our instinct is often to try to eliminate the uncertainty completely. We want guarantees, clear answers, and solid ground immediately beneath our feet.
But uncertainty is part of many transitions in life.
What we really need isn’t the complete removal of uncertainty — we need a plan.
In the skydiving analogy, we don’t stop the fall. Instead, we prepare for it.
We make sure we have a parachute.� We hold hands with others jumping alongside us so we’re not alone.� And we aim for a landing zone, even if it’s still a little unclear from the distance.
A plan doesn’t have to be perfect. It just needs to give us something to work with as we move through the air.
Often it’s not certainty that helps us through uncertain times.�It’s preparation, connection, and direction.
And sometimes that’s enough to help us land safely.

01/04/2026

Over the past few decades, diagnoses of ADHD and autism in children have risen sharply in England — but the key question is: has the prevalence actually increased, or are we just getting better at recognising it?

Research has long suggested that around **5% of children have ADHD**, and somewhere between **3–6% may be autistic**. That hasn’t changed dramatically. What has changed is diagnosis.

40 years ago, in the 1980s, **over 90% of children with these conditions were likely never diagnosed**. Only the most severe cases were recognised. Many others were labelled as “disruptive”, “difficult”, or “shy” — and their needs were misunderstood or unsupported.

The consequences of that were huge.

Children with unmet needs were more likely to struggle in school, face exclusion, and develop low self-esteem. Many experienced long-term mental health challenges like anxiety and depression — not because of the condition itself, but because they weren’t understood or supported properly. Over time, this has been linked to poorer employment outcomes and wider social disadvantage.

Today, things have improved — but not perfectly.

Out of roughly 9 million children in education in England:
• Around **450,000 are likely to have ADHD — with ~150,000 still undiagnosed**
• Between **300,000–500,000 may be autistic — with a significant number still unrecognised**

So while diagnoses are rising, this is largely a shift from **invisible → visible**, not a sudden surge in conditions.

At the same time, there’s a real issue in how support is structured. In many cases, children need a formal diagnosis to access help in school — which creates pressure on families to pursue labels.

So the reality is more complex than headlines suggest.

This isn’t simply about “overdiagnosis” or “underdiagnosis” — it’s about a system still catching up after decades of missed need.

We’re not seeing more children with these conditions. And many children have both diagnoses so there is an overlap.cWe’re finally starting to see the ones who were always there.

/

30/03/2026

Sometimes our behaviours are trying to tell us something.

When stress builds up, we can slip into habits that protect us in the short term but drain us in the long run — withdrawing, overworking, people pleasing, avoiding things, or being overly critical of ourselves.

These are often signs that our system is overwhelmed.

Restorative actions, on the other hand, help us reset, reconnect, and support our wellbeing. Things like opening up to someone we trust, taking breaks, practising self-compassion, setting boundaries, and asking for help when we need it.

The goal isn’t perfection — it’s awareness.

Noticing the difference can be the first step toward caring for yourself in a healthier way.

Take a moment to reflect:
✨ Which side do you recognise more today?

28/03/2026

Sometimes we look for complicated solutions, but feeling well often starts with the basics.
Sunshine ☀️
Connection 💬
Good food 🥗
Hydration 💧
Safety 🛟
Movement 🏃
Purpose 🎯
Support 🤝
Small things, done consistently, can have a powerful impact on our wellbeing.

26/03/2026