Julia R Lofts Counselling & Psychotherapy Tunbridge Wells and Wadhurst

22/10/2025

5M Followers, 1,439 Following, 1,113 Posts

18/09/2025

🌿 One Last Spot! 🌿
A last-minute cancellation means we have a rare place available on this weekend’s Peace for the Mind & Energy for the Body Retreat. ✨
Call today to book — this opportunity won’t come again!

✨ Last-Minute Retreat Place Available! ✨

Due to a late cancellation, a rare opportunity has just opened up on my Peace for the Mind & Energy for the Body Retreat this weekend. 🌿

Join us for a nurturing time of mindfulness, Qigong, nourishing food, sea air, and rest. Spaces are usually fully booked well in advance — this is a chance that truly cannot be missed.

📅 Dates: 19-21 September
📍 Location: TN26
☎️ Call today for details and to secure your place.

07/09/2025

03/09/2025

Discover the difference between red flags vs. growth areas in relationships. Learn when to walk away and when to use the opportunity to grow.

03/09/2025

Benefits of slow breathing

10/08/2025

Our bodies, emotions and mental states are so connected. When we are dealing with difficulties in life and our inner patterns, our bodies often respond with pain.
We can use these signals to help us understand what we might be not aware of consciously, and then start resolving and healing our emotional pain.

07/08/2025

“Falling in love is easy, but staying in love takes effort.”

When your partner won't work to improve your relationship, you may feel like change is impossible. Learn what you can do on your own and why your partner might be reluctant.

05/08/2025

Growing up in the Shadow of a Narcissistic Parent - new blog
http://www.julialofts.co.uk/blog-narcissistic-parents.html

04/08/2025

Appreciative and Generous Listening

Listening is not passive.

To contain the distractions one's brain will generate requires a mindful and generous stance to become a non-judgmental, non-analytical presence for the speaker.
Consider the following techniques:
• Give the speaker your undivided attention
• Be present in the moment ("Pure Presence") and enjoy listening
• Be quiet and calm without hurry or interruptions
• Silence is allowed as a means of reflection
• Focus on what is true for the speaker at the moment
• Suspend judgment and listen openly
• Listen to the words & the underlying perceptions, beliefs and assumptions
• Attentive body language through soft eye contact, leaning forward slightly, open body stance
• Non-verbal encouragers such as head nods, concerned / responsive facial expressions
• Express empathy when appropriate
• Judicious use of clarifying / reflecting / detailing questions
• Paraphrase what the speaker has said when they are done

01/08/2025

In marriage there’re no winners and losers. The relationship is a combined effort of two people. When we’re determined to win, we want our partner to lose. And who wants to be married to a loser?! So, without realising, we might be creating a partner we don’t really want to be with 🤷‍♀️ And that doesn’t make much sense 🧐
How about working on a relationship where both partners win?

29/07/2025

“We can never know what will happen to us next. We can try to control the uncontrollable by looking for security and predictability, always hoping to be comfortable and safe. But the truth is that we can never avoid uncertainty. This not-knowing is part of the adventure. It’s also what makes us afraid.” - Pema Chodron