Emily Duffy Therapy

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United Kingdom
Waltham Cross
Emily Duffy Therapy

She/Her
Online Integrative Therapist in the UK
I work with identity e.g. I'm an ENM & LGBTQ+ affirmative therapist.

sexuality, gender, neurodivergence, chronic illness, and mental health, the relationship with "self", and how you then relate to the outside world and the people around you. I work in an integrative approach meaning I adapt my way of working to your preferences, where possible, in a collaborative way. We will talk about what it is you would like to get out of counselling and look at ways we can do

this. My core way of working is offering a safe and non-judgemental space through person centred counselling and it's core conditions, which are to hold you with unconditional positive regard, empathy, and congruence. From here I layer on tools and techniques from other approaches such as gestalt ways of working (metaphors, 'here & now' work, somatic exploration), ways of working from MBCT/SFT/CBT (using mindfulness techniques to explore our ways of thinking, looking at how this can be different, and how this can then impact our behaviour/emotions), and CFT/ACT (looking at our internal narrative, how we can be more compassionate and accepting to ourselves). Depending on what it is you're wanting to explore, how long we work together, and your preferences, will depend on the techniques used in our sessions. If you are considering short term work with myself then we will look at the most pressing issue you would like to focus on, whereas longer term work will allow more breadth of work.

04/05/2026

You can take all that pressure off yourself in therapy 💚

**Obviously there is nuance to this post and it is dependent on finding a therapist you feel safe(r) with and comfortable with.**

There are so many things you don't need to do in therapy. You don't have to:
💚 Protect your therapist. That's not your role. It's great if you care about us too, but that shouldn't stop you saying whatever you need to say!
💚 Protect others. They're not in this space. Therapy is your space and you're allowed to be unfiltered in that space.
💚 Apologise for "rambling". This is your space. Often what you see as rambling is still important and can just be getting used to having dedicated time to talk about yourself!
💚 Hide your emotions. It's okay to cry, be angry, laugh....etc. it's purposeful and good.
💚 Hide parts of yourself. Therapy gets to be a space where you can be yourself and explore who that is.
💚 Lie. Therapy is a space where you don't need to filter the truth.
💚 Talk about anything you don't want to. You "shouldn't" feel forced to talk about anything you don't want to explore. Take it at your pace.
💚 Only talk about the bad stuff. You can let us know about your achievements, joys, funny moments, all of it.

The space is for ALL of you, whatever that looks like! ✨️

30/04/2026

I did it 💚 1000 hours in private practice, small steps still count!!

"Slow progress is still progress! No one can deminish that achievement; it happened".

Before I left for my surgery I hit 1000 client hours in my private practice since setting up 5.5 years ago!! I was so freaking proud and excited... but then I had that pesky inner critical voice pop up telling me it wasn't enough and I should have more by now; "If only you weren't so unwell, imagine what you could have done" 🫠

But you know what, f**k that voice.

My progress still stands, and those hours are just a small snippet of all I've done in my private practice too. It doesn't account for all the learning to market myself, not being full practice for a bit when starting up, note taking, supervision hours, CPD, course making I've done, blogging, website building and maintenance, resource building, networking, emailing, admin, cancellations, holiday, surgery time off, managing my health... the list goes on.

And I think this is testament to a lot of slow progress. In the immediate moments it can feel overwhelming, impossible, and challenging, like nothing is happening. We can get frustrated at ourselves and the world. We can even hit set backs. But when we break down the progress we see how much more was involved than we realise and take account of.

Sometimes we need that step back.

And we definitely need to celebrate ourselves more, especially the small steps that we do because they make up the bigger picture 💚

So yeah, freaking 1000 hours in private practice 🥳

I'm celebrating myself today, what small step are you celebrating? ✨️

29/04/2026

When you live in fight or flight constantly 😂

But seriously, have you ever noticed not being able to switch off.

Being half asleep but noticing you're still scanning for threats around you?

And also how the people around you can set you off too? Just like my dogs show!

This can be so hard to live with and can come from so many aspects of life.

We often get told to rest, but rest can't be fully restorative if we're not able to switch off...

So how can we?

Learning to regulate is a process and one that takes time with support, learning safety, learning coping skills, and patience with yourself. I have to co-regulate my dogs to bring them back down, therapy can help you co-regulate too. To switch that inner guard dog off, or at least calm it down enough to rest!

28/04/2026

And it comes with stigma too 💔

I have always hated cancelling plans, and I have had to more than most people in my life because I've always had health issues and limited capacity.

Unfortunately not everyone understands or is able to have continued patience for it - which is fair - it's so frustrating on both sides. I've had someone tell me "you clearly don't care enough to try" when I cancelled for the third time due to my health.

Cancelling plans isn't a whim though. As much as people may say we're "flaky" or "unreliable" it's not something we do lightly.. I had a cry the other month cancelling plans with a family member becuase I hate it, but at the same time I'm respecting my body and it's limits which are unpredictable. Thankfully the people in my life now understand, care, and are able to hold that frustration 💚

I hate it whether I'm cancelling as a client, therapist, friend, family member, or any other capacity. And it really doesn’t get any easier becaise of that stigma that can turn into internalised ableism:
😞 but you were able to the other day...
😞 are you really that unwell?
😞 you're so flaky/unreliable/incapable
😞 you should be able to....
😞 you're a bad person for letting them down

Some options:
✨️ Sometimes it could mean changing plans rather than cancelling - maybe you can get to your friend instead.
✨️ Maybe it could be changed to an online meet up
✨️ Sometimes it means patience and trying to understand we want to but genuinely can't

This is a reason a lot of us chronically ill folk end up in online communities, because that expectation to be physically present isn't as heavy.

How do you handle cancelled plans?

24/04/2026

There is so much to be angry at with chronic illness 🤬

My friend messaged me the other day saying, "if I was in your shoes, I'd be so angry all the time". And it got me thinking about the anger we can feel with chronic illness, cause it's definitely there!!

Ironically, there are studies into how not expressing anger can be a risk factor in autoimmune diseases and other chronic illnesses 🫠

But having chronic illnesses and disabilities can lead to such anger:
👿 Anger at the life we once had being taken away and the life we though we'd have being changed
👿 Anger at the dismissal, gaslighting, ableism, and stigma from people in our life, professionals, the systems, and society as a whole.
👿 Anger at the universe and the out of control-ness it can being
👿 Anger at our bodies
👿 Anger at feeling stuck, limited capacity, change in functionality, and what we can do
👿 Anger at masking and "playing the game" in the systems
👿 Anger at the chronic illness tax
👿 And angry and being angry!!

It can be good to find ways of expressing this anger and releasing it so you don't end up in a spiral of anger and health impact.

Things like therapy, journaling, physical movement, screaming, drawing, gaming, rage rooms, etc.

Do you find yourself feeling angry with chronic illness?

19/04/2026

I have had my surgery 🥳

I may do a full blog post on this but I wanted to do a little update here.

My surgery went well and more endo was found alongside confirming adenomyosis from my MRI scan.

It is vindication to listening to my body and pushing for an endo specialist after the general gynae told me that another laparoscopy wouldn't be worth it, that my pain was psychosomatic and I should "talk to somebody", laughed me off and said I was asking for a miracle when asking about pain management, and also tried to put me on medication that I shouldn't be on because of my migraines with aura......

You know yourself best. You live in your body everyday. Yes the medical professional has knowledge and experience but they should work with you and your experience!

You matter. Your worthy. And whilst it shouldn't have to be a fight for health care, you absolutely deserve the support.

This is why endometriosis has an average diagnosis time of 8 years. It took me 17 years for my first laparoscopy. And this one is now 3 years later and I still had to fight for it!!

I'm gonna take some time to heal, but will engage with posts where I can.

Thank you all for your lovely words of support and encouragement on posts and in private. I appreciate it and you 💚

11/04/2026

You are not a failure 💚

I've been thinking about how so many of us who don't fit in the societal norms box end up feeling like there's something wrong with us....and so I wrote the below on threads and it resonated with many so I'm now sharing it here!

You are not a failure for having chronic illnesses or disability

You are not a failure for living in a bigger body

You are not a failure for having limited capacity

You are not a failure. Society is failing you.

You matter, always ✨️

05/04/2026

Such a life saver, honestly 💚

The "Just can't wait card"

https://www.bladderandbowel.org/free-just-cant-wait-card/

This is a free digital, or small fee for physical, card allowing you to access toilets when there aren't public toilets.

⚠️ Content Warning ⚠️

I'm going to use my own experience as an example. Not too in depth but just in case you don't want to know deets!

I also recognise this one example isn't indicative of everyone's.

I went somewhere and didn't realise there wouldn't be any public toilets and so had to use this card for the first time and it was recieved well and was able to use some staff toilets, even if it did mean being escorted and waiting for 😅

But I was treated with kindness and respect, without judgment or shame.

EXTRA INFO - I had tried just asking if I could use their toilets in a different store before this and was denied. So tried elsewhere with the card and was allowed straight away.

Endometriosis and Adenomyosis are the gifts that keep on giving, such as bladder issues.

I can do everything I can like limiting water intake and peeing like 3 times before leaving the house and even then I can still have urgency within 30 minutes.

This is what happened to me and I hate to think what might have happened when I had to wait for 2 hours where I was. Having toiletry needs can make leaving the house so intimidating and limiting.

But this card can really open the world up again!

Have you got one? Did you know they exist?

30/03/2026

Have written 49 pages (18000ish words) worth of content for my CPD on working with Chronically Ill Clients so far and I'm only just hitting half way 😳🥳

29/03/2026

I am someone who loves sleep 😴

"Sleep is the golden chain that ties health and our bodies together." - Thomas Dekker

It is so important for our wellbeing, but sometimes it can be so elusive 😪

I'm currently in the process of switching some meds which means weaning off at the moment and my god it is impacting my sleep. When I manage to sleep I'm having vivid dreams and otherwise I just am so restless and unable to sleep.

The impact of lack of sleep has a huuuuuuge knock on to my health and chronic illnesses where my pain is so heightened and I just feel so unrefreshed and sluggish (on top of any fatigue I have).

I also love this quote, "Lack of sleep is only bad if you have to drive, or think, or talk, or move." — Dov Davidoff 😂

It impacts our ability to think, to regulate emotions, our health, and just our ability to function in general.

Sleep hygeine is definitely something to bring into therapy (as well as your medical professionals), whether it's sleeping too much, sleeping too little, feeling restless, or dreamwork.

What's your relationship with sleep like? 💚

28/03/2026

New blog post out - Top Tips for setting up Private Practice ✨️

I've been trapped under Arty (one of my dogs) for the last 3 hours, so I decided to write and finish a blog post from my drafts 😂

So here it is, my top tips for PP going through my experience, pros and cons, top tips, and further resources 💚

There's so much more I could write on this but that's why I have my start up guide for PP too!!

Check it out and let me know what you think!
https://www.emilyduffytherapy.co.uk/post/top-tips-for-starting-in-private-practice

25/03/2026

Journaling can be a great tool 💚

It is a really good way to express, release, explore, and process our emotions, situations, or thoughts. But sometimes it can be tricky to know where to start.

Journaling doesn't have to be a structured, "dear diary today I..." If that works for you great but there are lots of other ways too.

You might want to just doodle and write words or phrases that come to mind.

Or you might want some direction, and this is where prompts can help. Here are a few to get you going:
✨️ What are you grateful for today?
✨️ If your body had a voice what would it be saying?
✨️ If your feelings had a voice what would they say?
✨️ What do you want your future self to know?
✨️ Where, in life, do you feel you could be more boundaried and what would this look like?
✨️ What would a compassionate voice say to you today?
✨️ What would you want your past self to know?
✨️ What have you overcome?
✨️ What do you need to shout into the void?

If you don't know how to pick one you could always write them on strips of paper, and add more of your own in, and then pull one out of a jar and go from there 💚

How do you journal? What do you find helpful?

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Waltham Cross

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https://www.emilyduffytherapy.co.uk/

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