12/09/2025
I have gone quiet again I know, and I may be quiet a little longer, please bear with me. I am grateful for you being here on my page and I hope you find it valuable.
I am coming to terms with the loss of a very dear friend, a very sudden loss and a complete shock. I am grieving for myself and for her family. I feel guilt for my grief when theirs is so much greater. I feel useless that there is nothing I can do but extend my love and support. I feel isolated to be outside of the family group and unable to be part of that companionship of grief as I've experienced with the loss of family members and then I feel selfish for thinking that way. But I am digging down for the compassion for myself, to hold myself through this. To know this is a process, my feelings are my feelings and there should be no shame or guilt in any of them. My grief for myself does not lessen or reflect upon the grief others are feeling. I know this and my compassionate self tells me this.
But grief is a pendulum. It is a boat navigating seas that move from calm to stormy in an instant. Compassion is the anchor. Love is the healer. I am sad for the new memories i will not get to make, the coffee and cake (and cocktails) we'll never consume again together. To never see the beautiful twinkle of her eyes and the warmest smile that belonged to the purest and kindest soul.
But I am so very grateful that I knew her, to have that privilege of sharing moments, laughter, support. Gone way too soon but such a presence and impact. I could go on but there will never be enough words.
For anyone experiencing loss my heart and love goes out to you.
With love, with gratitude, with compassion
Jo xx