Alleviate- Caring about your Wellbeing

20/01/2026

14/01/2026

It is my job to make your journey manageable, nourishing and one to be proud of. Reaching out can feel so tough. Let me know how I can make it easier .

14/01/2026

Worried about starting therapy?

I get it.

Getting the right fit and feeling ready to look at stuff that you may find haunting can feel really frightening.

It is my job to make you feel at ease from the get go… or even before we start. I offer a FREE half hour phone call or zoom to allow you to ask all you want and to understand how I work and whether you feel I am the right therapist to move you forward.

Reach out in any way you like and I will look to respond in a way that works with you.

02/01/2026

Just a moment - it makes all the difference.

A moment of madness. A moment of clarity. A moment of still. The moment it all changed.

Stopping and being still can feel frightening in a world of to do’s, targets, shoulds and expectations. If you stop what is it that your anxiety tells you might happen. Do you take heed or can you take a moment to challenge that belief?

When we are anxious we are disconnected from our reason and rational and we don’t need to believe that what it tells us is necessarily true.

Dare to be still, notice how quickly you can feel better when you focus on the sky, waves or wind.

I couldn’t live further from the coast and frequently prescribe myself a day getting lost in the goodness the seaside brings.

This was Bournemouth on 30th December- it was a gift and a half.

03/12/2025

Tis the season to be jolly apparently and there is nothing like being told you should be doing, saying or being something to induce anxiety.

As we approach Christmas we can acknowledge that as well as being a season of goodwill and celebration it can also be a period of sadness, mourning and stress for many.

As we move through advent I wish each of you strength and hope and hopefully a treat or two!

06/11/2025

SCAM alert

03/11/2025

Navigating our world can feel hard, sometimes especially so if you are a man. The last 50 years has seen the narrative around gender and equality change substantially. As we try to steer around shifts in society and norms we can end up feeling quite lost.

Men matter. Good and happy men are needed for our worlds to flourish.

***de

29/10/2025

When we feel anxious or upset and move into fight or flight our nervous system narrows our view of life. .seligman refers to the 3 P’s. We will tend to see and explain the world in an increasingly Personal way, believing that we are in some way to blame. There might also be a Permanence to our narrative with thoughts telling us this is going to last for ever. Finally, we may sense this is Pervasive and is going to ‘spread its negativity‘ across everything.

If we can notice any of these 3 P’s in our thoughts they can be good indicators that we are in a state of alarm or sadness and that our perspective may not be taking account of the wider picture.

It is always good to remember that what we see or sense and indeed think is part of a larger story and are not ‘fact’.

By calming our alarm and asking ourselves, ‘What else could be happening?’, we can find a wider, more informed and realistic perspective.

28/10/2025

When things go wrong we can notice how we revert to old coping skills and give ourselves what we want rather than what we need. Note: These aren’t always the same.

Looking after our needs can be hard and takes work.

Let me know how you get back on track or if you need a hand getting back on track.

Do not fall in to the trap of being a big meany to yourself, it is a rabbit hole of darkness. Be kind. We have to stop and even fall backwards to drive forwards again.

16/10/2025

Emotional Needs: Control

At the end of it feels fitting to talk about our emotional need for control and the sense of desperation that can ensue when we feel out of control and without volition.

We all know this feeling and perhaps notice a sense of our chest tightening or our stomach lurching when imagining it. Our alarm systems are designed to keep us on our path moving forward and our bodies and minds indicate to us when we deviate, be that with or without choice.

The good news is we have all we need to take back that control and to grab hold of the reigns again.

Slow and steady wins the race.

14/10/2025

To encompass the enormity of parenthood and the responsibilities and emotions that come with it within an Insta post feels beyond me. It is a lifelong journey for those that choose that path and undoubtedly life changing.

For many, there is no greater or more soul grasping love than a love for a child and as such no pain of the magnitude felt by those parents who live through the death of their child.

Finding the right words is something that still worries me in each session of therapy I offer to help mourning parents. Yet this, I believe, cannot be a barrier to being present for and compassionate to those grieving.

Meeting someone in their grief and sitting as near as they feel comfortable (perhaps metaphorically, perhaps literally) can be a start.

🖤Hearing what is and isn’t said and reflecting your understanding to ensure you can begin to comprehend the enormity of their experience can follow. 🖤Offering reassurance around their grief and facilitating where possible an understanding of the devastation that has ensued or acknowledging the cruelty of unanswerable questions might feel helpful.
🖤Giving time for reflection. Validating and recognising behaviours which to them may feel alien can also help to accept this new lived experience .

Nobody is designed to cope or manage this kind of loss. There is no normal. No right. No wrong. There is just the now and then the next moment and the one after that.

I sit in a reflective awe as I watch parents carve out a future: Often not because they always want to, as commonly there feels very little choice involved. Yet from a dark pit of pain I time and time again witness an often messy path appear. With heels dragged, tears cried, fists clenched there can be a slow shift. Then one day they might notice they got dressed, maybe went to work, got through a ‘first’, spoke their child’s name without tears.

It is from their story, their journey, their path and their cherished and never forgotten child that a future can appear.

Perhaps join in lighting a candle at 7pm tonight .

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