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Monday 9am - 8pm Tuesday 9am - 8pm Wednesday 9am - 8pm Thursday 9am - 8pm Friday 9am - 8pm Saturday 9am - 5pm

http://www.camillagrainger.co.uk/

Camilla Grainger Counselling, Warwick (2026)

21/12/2025

Wishing you all a happy Christmas 🦋❤️

19/12/2025

“Sometimes the hardest bond to break is the one built in survival.”

Trauma bonding explained 🌱🦋

I’ve learned that trauma bonding happens when someone is exposed to repeated cycles of fear, stress and relief within a relationship. Over time, the brain links contact with temporary safety — even when the relationship itself is harmful.

That’s why people may respond, explain themselves or seek reassurance from someone who has hurt them. It isn’t a conscious choice or a weakness — it’s a nervous system response.

Understanding this helped me let go of shame and self-blame. What I experienced wasn’t failure. It was survival.

When I was in that situation, it genuinely felt like the person who hurt me was the only one who could make it better. It was extremely confusing 🫤

But healing taught me this:
You don’t heal by going back — you heal by moving forward.

coaching domesticabuseawareness domesticabuserecovery domesticabusesurvivor healing traumabonding

17/12/2025

🌱Be → Work (Do) → Have

I’ve had to start with how I’m being with myself — especially when life is messy.
Less self-criticism.
More honesty.
Clearer boundaries.
Sometimes just slowing down.

From that place, the work changes.
Not dramatically — just more deliberately.
Different choices. Fewer reactions. Doing what I can, not everything.

And over time, I’ve begun to have something steadier.
Not a perfect life — but more self-trust, more calm moments, less chaos inside.

This isn’t about positivity or pretending things are easy.
Some days, “being” just means getting through gently.
That still counts.

I’m sharing this in case someone else is waiting for things to improve before they let themselves breathe.

You’re allowed to start with how you’re being — even now.

👉 Who do I need to BE first, so that what I do actually works?

🦋Therapeutic translation:
Who I believe I am shapes what I do — which shapes what I experience.

10/12/2025

🦋Trauma hides, Autism shows🦋

A child with autism may struggle because the world feels overwhelming.
A child carrying trauma may struggle because the world has not always felt safe.

The behaviours can look the same — but the roots can be very different.
It’s sad that childrens struggles are compared when really they come from total different places.

Autism is a neurotype — a way a child’s brain is wired.
It shows up in every environment,
It’s consistent. It’s visible. It’s not caused by anything that happened to them.
It’s simply who they are.

Trauma, on the other hand, hides.
It sits in the nervous system.
It shows up only where a child feels unsafe, overwhelmed, or emotionally unsure.
You might see a calm, regulated child in one home…
and a distressed, explosive, anxious child in another.

Not because they’re “naughty.”
Not because they’re “manipulative.”
But because their body remembers fear even when their mind can’t explain it.

Autism is a difference.
Trauma is a wound.

One is a lifelong neurodevelopmental profile.
The other is a response to emotional pain, instability, or loss.

Both deserve understanding.
Both need support.
Both are real.
But they are not the same.

So before judging a child by what you see on the surface, pause and remember:

✨ Some behaviours come from wiring.
Some behaviours come from wounding.
And sometimes the quietest child is carrying a lot more than you realise.

Try to understand their story ❤️

09/12/2025

✨ Client Success Story

Every so often, I get the privilege of witnessing a transformation that reminds me exactly why I do this work.

A client came to me recently, just turning 60, carrying deep anxiety and the heavy fear that his marriage was on the verge of falling apart. He felt overwhelmed, unheard, and worn down by negativity.

Fast-forward to today… and the message I received from him filled me with so much happiness.
He shared that he feels happier than he has in years.
He and his wife have just come back from a once-in-a-lifetime holiday.
He feels resilient, empowered, and more assertive.

This is what healing looks like.

I’m so proud of him.
Change is always possible at any age, at any stage. 💛✨

02/12/2025

When “I’m Not Good Enough” Tries to Run the Show

One of the most common core beliefs people carry is this sneaky little sentence:
“I’m not good enough.”

It usually forms early during moments when we felt judged, ignored, or expected to hold everything together. Over time, that belief becomes the background noise of life, popping up everywhere:
• I’m not a good enough parent.
• I should be more organised.
• Everyone else has their life together.
• …why am I the only one who can’t follow directions? 🤣

But here’s the therapeutic truth:
A core belief is not a fact.
It’s just your brain replaying old data — like Windows 95 attempting to run your 2025 life.

In therapy we start gently questioning it:
• Where did this belief actually come from?
• Whose voice does it sound like?
• What evidence do we have that challenges it?
• And can we kindly tell this belief to take a seat, drink some water, and stop being so dramatic?

Healing isn’t about pretending.
It’s about slowly rewriting the scripts that no longer fit — the ones we outgrew ages ago, like those jeans we swear will fit again someday (they won’t, and that’s OK) I know this as it happens to me 🤣

You are not your core belief.
You’re the brilliant, messy, resilient human learning to tame it 🦋

28/11/2025

🦋Today I received a message that really touched me:

“I’ve not only got Isla back, but a confident, respectful version of her. You have been amazing. Thank you.”

We spent our sessions building her confidence, helping her understand her emotions, and strengthening her relationship with herself. Watching a young person grow through the therapy work is always the most rewarding part of what I do. 💛

If your child needs support with confidence or emotional wellbeing, I’m here.

27/11/2025

🌟 CHRISTMAS APPEAL – PLEASE HELP A CHILD WHO MAY GET NOTHING THIS YEAR 🌟

This Christmas, some of our local children will wake up to no gifts at all.
Not because they’re not loved… but because life is incredibly hard for some families right now.
As someone who works closely with children, I see first-hand the quiet struggles that often stay hidden.

So I’m reaching out from the heart.

🎁 If you can donate a new, unwrapped toy or gift, it could mean the world to a child who otherwise might feel forgotten this Christmas.

It doesn’t have to be big or expensive.
Even one small present can bring hope, normality and a bit of magic to a child who’s been dealing with far too much.

I will make sure every single gift is passed safely to:
✨ Local school safeguarding/pastoral teams
✨ Or charities who support vulnerable children
— so the right children receive them discreetly and with dignity.

If you’d like to help, please message me, and I’ll arrange collection or drop-off.

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for helping brighten a child’s Christmas. ❤️

25/11/2025

⭐ Parenting an Autistic/ADHD Teen Who Refuses School — What I’ve Learned as a Mum and a Counsellor

I want to talk about something painful, real, and far more common than people realise:
parenting a neurodivergent teenager who refuses school, becomes aggressive, shuts down, and does what looks like “whatever they want.”

I write this both as a mum living it and a counsellor who sees families battling the same thing.

Because trust me — if this is your life too,
you’re not alone, and you’re not failing.

⭐ What people don’t see

People don’t see the:
• 7 am dread
• 60 plus minutes of trying to wake them
• “I AM!” shouted back when they’re not moving
• door slamming
• emotional abuse when they’re dysregulated
• PlayStation arguments
• phone battles
• mornings that end in tears
• school calling
• guilt
• burnout
• going to work exhausted
• the grief of losing yourself along the way

And they definitely don’t see that forcing a near-16 year old autistic/ADHD teen out of bed is not possible and not safe.

⭐ The truth behind the behaviour

School refusal is almost never “laziness.”

It’s:
• overwhelm
• shame
• anxiety
• sensory overload
• fear of failure
• executive dysfunction
• emotional burnout
• fight/flight behaviour
• complete shutdown

Autistic and ADHD teens often can’t cope with mornings, transitions, pressure, or exams —
so it comes out as:
• avoidance
• anger
• refusal
• entitlement
• “I don’t care”
• aggression
• screen obsession
• doing anything except school

This isn’t disrespect.
It’s dysregulation.

⭐ What DOESN’T work

(And many parents try these because it’s all they know)
• shouting
• begging
• reward charts
• constant reminders
• fighting over devices
• grounding
• punishments
• dragging them out of bed
• guilt
• threats

These almost always make things WORSE — for the parent AND the teen.

⭐ What DOES help (from my home + professional experience)

✔ 1. Stop the morning battles completely

Wake them once.
Calmly.
Then walk away.
No arguments.
No emotional chase.
No pressure.
School deals with the consequences.

✔ 2. Use environmental boundaries, not physical ones

You can’t fight a teenager for a PlayStation — it’s not safe.
Instead:
• change WiFi password
• block mobile data
• use timer plugs
• limit lifts + extras
• reduce demands
• protect your peace

✔ 3. Keep mornings low-demand

Autistic teens need calm, quiet, predictable starts:
• no bright lights
• no shouting
• slow transitions
• no long conversations
• one instruction at a time

✔ 4. Emotional detachment (kind but firm)

Your new script:
• “I’ll talk when you’re calm.”
• “This is a boundary, not a discussion.”
• “I am not arguing.”
• “Your behaviour has consequences.”

No long explanations.
No fighting.

✔ 5. Accept that YOU cannot do this alone

School MUST step in:
• SENCO
• Attendance officer
• Pastoral team
• Safeguarding
• Exam access support
• Anxiety support
• Reduced timetable if needed
• A plan that doesn’t rely on punishments

Punishments don’t work for neurodivergent kids.
Support does.

✔ 6. Look after YOU

You can’t regulate a dysregulated teen if you’re broken.

Protect:
• your work
• your finances
• your energy
• your boundaries
• your peace
• your emotional safety

You are just as important in this story.

⭐ **And finally: You are not a bad parent.

You are a burnt-out parent of a struggling child.

You haven’t failed.
You’ve been fighting a battle most people don’t understand.

If this is your life too
I see you.
I understand you.
And there is a way to make home calmer, even if school is still a battlefield.

You don’t need perfection.
You need support, boundaries, and a shift away from doing this alone.

And you deserve every bit of that. ❤️

05/11/2025

💭 Myths About Counselling 💭

I hear so many misconceptions about counselling — and I get it. It can feel like a big step to reach out. So let’s clear up a few things 👇

🌿 Myth 1: “You have to be in crisis to go to counselling.”
Nope. You don’t have to wait until everything falls apart. Counselling can be a space to grow, reflect, and understand yourself better — even when life’s okay on the surface.

💬 Myth 2: “Counsellors tell you what to do.”
I wish it were that simple! 😂 But it’s not about advice — it’s about exploring what’s going on inside you and finding your own answers in a safe space.

😔 Myth 3: “Talking about it will make it worse.”
Actually, the opposite is true. Keeping things bottled up gives them more power. Talking helps bring light to the things we’ve been carrying in the dark.

⏳ Myth 4: “Counselling takes forever.”
It doesn’t have to. Some people come for a few sessions and find what they need. Others stay longer. There’s no right or wrong — just what feels right for you.

🧐 “Are you analysing me?”
I get asked this all the time — usually with a nervous laugh! 😂

The truth is… no, I’m not secretly analysing you in Tesco or at the school gates
Counselling isn’t about judging or dissecting people — it’s about understanding and empathy.
When I’m with clients, my attention is on creating a safe space where they can be honest, real, and human — without fear of being “figured out.”

And when I’m off the clock, I’m just… me. I switch off, eat snacks, forget people’s names, and binge Netflix like everyone else. 😅

Counsellors don’t sit around analysing everyone — we just learn to listen deeply and see people beyond their defences. 💚

So no, I’m not analysing you… unless you want to book a session 😉

Counselling isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s one of the bravest things you can do — to face yourself with honesty and compassion. 💚🦋

10/10/2025

Mental health isn’t always about anxiety and depression it’s about the deep wounds that shape how we love and live.
I spent years calling chaos love -
convincing myself that pain meant passion and that I could fix the people who broke me. I didn't see the truth until it almost destroyed me.
On this World Mental Health Day, I'm
sharing a piece of my story in the hope that someone reading this realises they deserve more, too.
Healing often begins with awareness — the courage to look at our pain without turning away. If you're stuck in a cycle that feels familiar but hurts deeply, know this: you are not broken, and you are not alone.
Change is possible, and it begins with naming the truth.

“When he hurt me, I told myself it was because he was hurting. When he blamed me, I believed I wasn't enough - not patient enough, not worthy enough to make him stay kind. I wasn't addicted to him; I was addicted to the familiar. The same wounds I carried from childhood “

08/10/2025

🌱Client Testimonial
A real story of healing and growth

"I would really recommend Camilla. I was a bit sceptical about talking to someone new, but she made me feel comfortable straight away and is so easy to talk to.
Through our sessions, I've learned a lot about myself and how to deal with everyday life and situations. It's really improved me as a person."

• Client Background
This client came to therapy with severe anxiety, believing something was wrong with his breathing and heart. His body was in constant alarm mode, and everyday life felt overwhelming.

• What We Discovered
Through gentle exploration, we uncovered that the root cause of his anxiety was trauma from an abusive relationship — something he hadn't recognised as abuse at the time.
Once this truth was acknowledged, the healing process began.

• The Outcome
With consistent sessions, self-awareness, and new coping strategies, he now feels calmer, more grounded, and at peace in his life. His confidence has grown, and he's able to recognise and manage emotional triggers with clarity and control.

About my approach
I offer a warm, down-to-earth, and non-judgmental counselling space where clients can explore what's really going on beneath the surface. My approach blends CBT techniques, trauma-informed practice, and emotional awareness - helping clients move from confusion and anxiety toward calm, confidence, and self-trust.

"I believe therapy should help you feel safe enough to face the truth — and strong enough to build something new from it 🦋

Camilla Grainger Counselling

21/12/2025

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Monday	9am - 8pm
Tuesday	9am - 8pm
Wednesday	9am - 8pm
Thursday	9am - 8pm
Friday	9am - 8pm
Saturday	9am - 5pm