Dawn Barker Funeral Celebrant

01/04/2025

A colleague of mine, Frank Mellak, Director of Sympathy4u Ltd recently wrote this and I wanted to share, with you

“The clouds of reflection

Whilst travelling recently, looking out from above the clouds, with a little reflective music it proved to be a moment of reflection. Probably much more than a moment in all honesty.

These precious moments can be part of the long, long journey of bereavement and grieving, but as I looked back on this particular journey, what was much more than just a moment actually contained more smiles than tears, as I looked back on the family and friends, I have lost this past fifteen years.

My parents in 2017 and 2019, looking across the white fluffy clouds there were many smiles, possibly laughing but the person to my left seem unperturbed! The laughs were because as we reflect the good times immensely outweigh the bad times and of course the sadness of loss. The good times are of course memories, when recalled they soothe the hurt, and then of course friends, where the larger percentage of thoughts were indeed laughs, because we chose to gather for fun, enjoyment and make memories. Oddly, losing a close friend can often hurt more, naturally because often we spent more time with friends in later life. But why does this make one feel guilty? Grieving can be a sophisticated bit of travel.

In all these thoughts, I recalled the traditional funeral services, even then as funny moments were recalled, the audience chuckled through the tears. Attendees were consumed by the incredible pictures shown and music played. As the services ended, people exited with their hearts and minds full of what they had seen, heard, and discussed afterwards. How can we even consider skipping this essential part of this journey? Without this special hour or so, are the foundations of the road ahead in place?”

11/12/2024

This message is profound and very brave to share - when sending Christmas cards to your friends and family who may have lost someone - do mention their loved one’s name - even to say - “raising a glass to Josh/Annabel (deceased person’s name) or something. When we fail in our own courage to ignore the name of a lost life, we actually make the pain more acute and the bereaved feel more isolated and alone. It’s a brave act to talk about them. But it’s an act we should all try to make

17/12/2023

Beautiful work

Not exactly a Christmas wreath, but it’s still a little bit festive looking 🧐🤨😆

06/04/2023

How about this? How beautiful and imbues a peacefulness and beauty

This little light of mine 🤩🤩🤩

16/07/2021

When I was a police officer in the 1980’s I was sent to a private house. It was around 1pm. There I met a family who had been serving up their Sunday roast. The father had died suddenly in the kitchen. With everyone in the dining room, all in deep shock, I entered the stillness of the kitchen scene, alone momentarily with this man, who was lying on the floor. He had his wrist watch on and I noticed how it felt incongruous as the time continued to tick tick tick relentlessly onward.
That moment has stayed with me for many years… I guess it showed me how time waits for no one. And how fragile life is. And how precious every moment of every day is. And how special we are as individuals. When one of us dies, we need our family and friends to lean into and to gather closely with. This becomes the most important task for the coming days and nights as we charter the unknown journey ahead of us, without that person there anymore.

14/03/2021

This week I officiated a funeral for a really beautiful family and their Mum/Nan who had passed away. I felt something so warm in my very being whilst in the chapel. Sadness was all around, naturally. But there was something more, something deeper. I think it was the love ❤️ my humble privilege was to help this family say goodbye.

16/02/2021

Today I had the immense honour of officiating the funeral of a Deaf gentleman whose family were hearing. Most of his friends were Deaf. The language barrier of English and British Sign Language was bridged. I used Sign Supported English for the main service and interpreted the hymn - Amazing Grace. It was the most challenging service I have led so far, a bit like patting your head and rubbing your tummy non-stop for 35 minutes. The work I put into it paid off. The service went as well as could be expected. The family were very pleased and the mourners who were Deaf managed to understand. All the feedback was positive to me.
God rest the gentleman’s soul.

04/02/2021

During these most dark and painful times, even those who we lose are held in our hearts and minds. Their loss is unbearable but their memory can never end. Talk about your loved one. Say their name out loud. Talk to them. As long as you can, trust that they won’t leave you. In spirit, they will stay and watch over you. Their love never dies. As your love for them endures. Be especially kind to yourself, as they would be to you.

07/01/2021

Good afternoon - I am aware that this time in our society/world is a deeply worrying and distressing time for many. I am also aware of friends dying and families too from Covid-19. Terrible sadness and fear mixed together.
I wish everyone safety, health and some happiness and where you can’t have these, there those of us who are here to help.

09/12/2020

No subtitles and no interpretation. Apologies for this. I am going to address Thai and it will be sorted for next year.
For my Deaf friend in particular, Penelope Beschizza, here is the poem I read
“Elinor Wylie
Farewell, Sweet Dust


Now I have lost you, I must scatter
All of you on the air henceforth;
Not that to me it can ever matter
But it’s only fair to the rest of the earth.

Now especially, when it is winter
And the sun’s not half so bright as he was,
Who wouldn’t be glad to find a splinter
That once was you, in the frozen grass?

Snowflakes, too, will be softer feathered,
Clouds, perhaps, will be whiter plumed;
Rain, whose brilliance you have caught and gathered,
Purer silver have reassumed.

Farewell, sweet dust, I was never a miser:
Once, for a minute, I made you mine:
Now you are gone, I am none the wiser
But the leaves of the willow are bright as wine.”

Memoria North Oxfordshire Christmas Service

01/12/2020

I was honoured to be a part of the Christmas Memorial service in the new North Oxford Crematorium recently. It is a lovely service and I hope people who have lost their loved ones this year will find some comfort in all the services being offered by Memoria this Christmas time.

20/11/2020

Good afternoon, I have today officiated a funeral for a lady who lost her two sons and her husband over a period of 5 years. Such is the catastrophe of death and yet love binds us together. She is now at peace and with her beloved family again.