https://www.kirstylomaxtherapy.com/

Kirsty Lomax Therapy, Wembley (2025)

27/11/2025

As a therapist, I believe in the power of stories, and this one will stay with me forever. Kristin Hannah's, 'The Nightingale', is a beautiful yet devastating look at two sisters navigating WWII France.

The story explores themes such as the complexities of relationships, it shows us how trauma and loss can impact us, how misunderstandings or judgments can easily form without truly knowing another person’s struggle. It also explores that resilience isn't a one-size-fits-all, and that courage can appear in quiet, sustained forms as much as it may in bold acts.

I cried, I smiled and cried again amongst the pages of this book.

If you are looking for a story that validates the emotional cost of survival and the complex journey of family healing, I would implore you to take a look at this story.

✨ What book has resonated with you recently?

31/10/2025

✨ Golden Light of Acceptance ✨

A gentle guided practice to reconnect with your heart and nurture self-acceptance.

1️⃣ Find your posture
Sit or lie down comfortably. Let your shoulders relax, your hands rest softly, and take a few deep, steady breaths — in through the nose, out through the mouth.

2️⃣ Anchor in your heart
Bring your awareness to your chest — the rise and fall of your breath, the steady beat beneath. No judgment, just noticing.

3️⃣ Visualise the golden light
Imagine a small, glowing light in the centre of your chest — warm, golden, and steady.
This light represents your self-worth, kindness, and inner peace.
With each inhale, it grows stronger. With each exhale, it shines brighter.

4️⃣ Let it expand
Allow this golden glow to spread throughout your body — through your heart, shoulders, and arms…
Up into your face and throat…
Down through your core and legs…
Until you’re fully surrounded by a soft golden radiance — a feeling of unconditional acceptance.

5️⃣ Rest in the glow
If self-critical thoughts arise, let the light gently dissolve them.
Breathe here for a few moments — calm, whole, and safe.

6️⃣ Return
Take one final deep breath. Feel the warmth anchored within you.

Open your eyes slowly, carrying that golden peace with you into the day 🌞

23/10/2025

When a thought gets stuck, it’s not because it’s helpful—it’s because it’s familiar. Your nervous system, in its effort to keep you safe, confuses what it knows with what is safe, leading it to replay the same loop. This is called Pattern Completion: your brain identifies a small piece of an old, unresolved experience (an unreturned email, text or even a dismissive look) and instantly fills in the rest - meaning that It's not iust the thought that's looping, it's the feeling, the posture, the muscle tension, the breath pattern. Your whole system replays what it already knows.

You are not reacting to the present; you're predicting danger based on old, unfinished stories. This is why trying to logic your way out rarely works—your body still feels under threat, so your brain keeps serving up the familiar narrative of danger.

To effectively shift the loop, you don't need to stop the thought. You need to change the physical and emotional state the thought lives in. The fastest way to do this is through your body.

Here's a process to help rewire your brain with conscious redirection and Pattern interrupters:

Conscious Redirection (The Focus Anchor): Ground your attention in the present.

Label what's happening: "My mind is looping."

Name what you feel in your body: "tight chest," "tense jaw."

You can even say, “I am safe.”

Bring your focus to a neutral anchor: your hands, your feet, or your breath

Pattern Interrupter (The Body Shift): Quickly signal to your brain that something has changed.

Stand up and shake your arms for 15 seconds.

Exhale slowly for twice as long as your inhale.

Splash cold water on your face.

This combination creates the conditions where the old narrative can no longer stick. Over time, you can then rewire your brain toward a new pattern.

Source: Dr. Nicole LePera

13/10/2025

Healing from burnout takes time, self-compassion, and often lifestyle changes. Here's a straightforward guide to help you recover:

🔥 What Is Burnout?
Burnout is a state of emotional, mental, and physical exhaustion caused by prolonged stress—often from work, caregiving, or overwhelming responsibilities. It's not just being tired; it's being empty.

How to recover from burnout:

• Take a break: If possible, step away from work or responsibilities temporarily.
• Set boundaries: Say “no” more. Protect your time and energy.
• Delegate: Ask for help where you can.
• Unplug: Limit screen time and social media. If this feels too hard right now, that's okay -maybe just look at reducing the time you spend online and increase this over time.
• Do nothing: Literally. Give yourself permission to just rest without guilt.
• Nutrition: Eat nourishing meals regularly.
• Movement: Gentle activity like walking, stretching, or yoga.
• Nature: Spend time outdoors—it’s healing.
• Talk to someone: A therapist, coach, or supportive friend.
• Journal: Write out your frustrations, thoughts, and reflections.
• Reconnect with joy: What did you enjoy before you were burned out?
• Creative hobbies: Draw, cook, garden—something that’s just for you.
• Slow down: Build back a life with more space and intention.

Burnout isn’t weakness. It’s a sign something needs to change.

02/10/2025

Here's a quick journal prompt for you!

Imagine you are writing a letter to your younger self.

What simple, loving message or wish would you include? What specific quality (like courage, resilience, or softness) would you tell them to hold onto? Now, re-read that letter and accept that you still deserve to receive that exact same kindness and belief.

When you re-read your letter and direct that same loving message toward your adult self, note any specific emotions or thoughts that come up for you.

Does your inner critic try to interrupt, or do you feel a moment of peaceful calm?

Write about the resistance or ease you experienced in receiving your own kindness.

11/09/2025

"The only way to heal the wounds of the past is to embrace them with compassion. We must learn to sit with our pain, to listen to it, and to offer it the same love and understanding that we would offer to a dear friend."

Claude Anshin Thomas

05/09/2025

🐕

Have you got that Friday feeling today, and if so, what is present for you right now? Could it be excitement, exhaustion, contentment or is it something else? My office companion is feeling a little fatigued right now due to our morning run (don't worry, it wasn't anything too strenuous).

If you can, at some point over your weekend, take a step back to pause and breathe. Enjoy the calm. Enjoy who you are.

How to Do Box Breathing

Find a comfortable position. You can sit in a chair with your feet flat on the floor, stand with your back straight, or lie down. Relax your shoulders and jaw.

Exhale completely. Gently release all the air from your lungs.

Inhale for a count of four. Slowly and deeply inhale through your nose, feeling your belly expand. Visualize yourself drawing a line up the first side of the box.

Hold your breath for a count of four. Hold the air in your lungs for four seconds. Visualize yourself drawing the top of the box.

Exhale for a count of four. Slowly and steadily exhale through your mouth. Imagine drawing a line down the other side of the box.

Hold your breath for a count of four. With your lungs empty, hold for four seconds. Visualize completing the bottom of the box.

26/08/2025

✨ Why birdsong makes us feel safe ✨

Have you ever noticed how calming it feels to hear birds singing? There’s a reason for that:

🌱 Nature’s safety signal – Birds sing when they feel safe. Their song tells us the environment is calm, and our nervous system responds to this ancient cue of safety.

🌱 Soothing for the body – The gentle rhythm of birdsong activates our parasympathetic nervous system (the “rest and digest” state), helping us to relax.

🌱 Connection to the natural world – Birdsong connects us back to the rhythms of nature, reminding us of belonging and peace.

Birdsong is nature’s way of whispering:
“All is well. You can rest now.” 🕊️

20/08/2025

🌻 “Light is in the cupboard
It’s at the back no doubt
If you want to see it shine
You’ll have to take it out.” – Lemn Sissay

This short poem is a beautiful reminder that even in difficult times, our inner light never disappears—it may simply be tucked away.

This speaks to the strength, joy, and resilience we all carry inside. Sometimes life’s challenges push those qualities to the back, hidden and hard to reach. But with support, reflection, and gentle courage, we can bring them forward again.

💡 Healing can be about uncovering what’s already within you.

18/08/2025

When you think of regret, do you see a tormentor or a teacher?

I used to think regret was just a cruel reminder of everything that had gone wrong. The sleepless nights and mind spiralling thoughts that wouldn’t stop. For a long time, I believed that if I ever faced my regrets, it would have to be harsh, confrontational, and full of shame.

But over time, I realised that regret doesn’t have to be a tormentor. In stepping into the feeling of regret and sitting with it gently, it became a teacher. It showed me what I truly value and, most importantly, what I want to learn from the feeling.

Addressing regret doesn’t have to be a battle — it can be a soft conversation with ourselves. One that helps us carry forward wisdom, instead of just pain. 🌱

How could regret guide you toward the life you want to live?

13/08/2025

Your body isn’t just carrying you through life — it’s carrying your story.

Every sigh, every tight muscle, every racing heartbeat is a message.The somatic connection is about tuning in—feeling your sensations, noticing tension, and letting your body guide your healing. When you listen to your body, you can release stress, process emotions, and truly be present, so your mind and body can finally heal together.

Because the truth is…
●Talking helps the mind.
● Feeling helps the body.

Healing happens when both are heard.

Here’s a mini somatic exercise you can do in under 30 seconds:

Hand-to-Heart Breath

●Place one hand over your heart, one hand on your belly.
●Inhale slowly through your nose, feeling both hands gently rise.
●Exhale through your mouth, feeling your shoulders soften.
●Whisper to yourself: “I am here. I am safe.”

This quick reset helps bring awareness to the body, slows the nervous system, and builds a sense of grounded presence.

11/08/2025

"Be softer with you. You are a breathing thing. A memory to someone. A home to a life." Nayyirah Waheed

If you do one thing today, please remember that we are not machines. We are living, breathing beings—made of stories, experiences, and the quiet moments that shape us.

You are someone’s cherished memory.
You are the safe space where another’s heart has found rest.
You are a life worth tending to with gentleness.

Being “soft” with yourself is not weakness—it is an act of deep strength. It’s choosing compassion over criticism, rest over burnout, and self-understanding over self-punishment.

Today, try speaking to yourself as you would to someone you love. You deserve that tenderness.

Kirsty Lomax Therapy

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