Chapter House Counselling & Psychology

06/11/2025

Counselling at Chapter House Counselling & Psychology

If life feels heavy right now — you’re not alone.

At Chapter House, we offer a calm, confidential space to talk, reflect, and begin to understand what’s really going on beneath the surface.
Whether you’re struggling with anxiety, relationship issues, grief, trauma, or simply feel disconnected from yourself, our team of qualified therapists can help you make sense of it.

We work with individuals, couples, and families — providing both short- and long-term therapy in-person in Farnham or online.
Our approach is warm, evidence-based, and grounded in understanding the person behind the problem.

Sometimes just sitting down and saying “I need to talk” is the hardest step — but it’s also the one that starts the change.

If you’re ready to explore therapy or unsure where to start, get in touch.
We’ll help match you with the right therapist for your needs.

📍 Chapter House Counselling & Psychology

At Chapter House, our therapy centre offers safe and comfortable facilities for clients from West Malling and the wider Kent areas. We also have therapy rooms to rent.

30/10/2025

At Chapter House Counselling & Psychology, we believe therapy should meet you where you are — with compassion, skill, and the right support.

Whether you’re struggling with anxiety, grief, trauma, relationship difficulties, or just trying to find your way back to yourself, our team of trained, registered and accredited therapists are here to help.

We offer:
• Individual therapy for anxiety, depression, grief and self-understanding
• Relationship and couples therapy with specialist relationship therapists
• Trauma therapy including CBT and EMDR with qualified trauma specialists
• Psychosexual therapy for intimacy, desire and connection issues

Open six days a week, 12 hours a day, Chapter House provides flexible, confidential support in a calm and welcoming setting in West Malling.

If you’re ready to start your next chapter we are here when you are !

At Chapter House, our therapy centre offers safe and comfortable facilities for clients from West Malling and the wider Kent areas. We also have therapy rooms to rent.

23/10/2025

Sometimes life just feels too heavy to carry alone.

At Chapter House Counselling & Psychology, we offer a place to pause, talk, and be heard — whether you’re an individual, a couple, or a family trying to find your way through something difficult.

Our therapists are all accredited and highly experienced.
We also offer low-cost counselling with qualified counsellors in the final stages of their accreditation, making therapy more accessible without losing quality or care.

We’re open six days a week, with daytime and evening appointments — in person or online.

If you’ve been thinking about reaching out, this is your sign to start.
Visit:

At Chapter House, our therapy centre offers safe and comfortable facilities for clients from West Malling and the wider Kent areas. We also have therapy rooms to rent.

09/10/2025

The Elastic Band Theory of Relationships

The elastic band theory suggests that healthy relationships move in a rhythm — closeness and distance, connection and space.

When one partner pulls away, it’s not always rejection — sometimes it’s the natural need to breathe, think, or regulate. The “stretch” creates tension, and when handled with care, that space can bring you closer.

But when the pulling away becomes silence, control, or emotional shutdown, the tension stops feeling healthy — it feels unsafe.
That’s when communication breaks down, and connection starts to fray.

Healthy space strengthens love.
Emotional distance breaks it.

If you’re feeling that stretch in your relationship — if the space is growing wider and harder to close — we can help.

At Chapter House Counselling & Psychology, our team of specialist relationship therapists can help you both understand the pattern, rebuild trust, and learn to reconnect safely.

🕊️ Because the goal isn’t to stop stretching — it’s to learn how to bounce back.

📍 West malling

https://chapterhouse.org.uk/

29/09/2025

Are you looking for a safe, professional space to work through life’s challenges?
At Chapter House, our team of registered and accredited counsellors and psychotherapists are here to support you.

We specialise in:
• Anxiety, stress, and low mood
• Specialist trauma counselling
• CBT & EMDR
• Relationship & couples therapy
• Psychodynamic & integrative approaches

Whether you’re seeking short-term coping strategies or deeper therapeutic work, we’ll match you with the right therapist for your needs.

✨ Your mental health matters. Your story matters. And you don’t have to go through it alone.

📞 Contact us today to book a free initial consultation and take the first step towards change.

At Chapter House, our therapy centre offers safe and comfortable facilities for clients from West Malling and the wider Kent areas. We also have therapy rooms to rent.

20/09/2025

The grass always looks greener on the other side — but that’s usually because you’re not the one mowing it, watering it, or dealing with the weeds.

An affair can feel exciting, light, and effortless. Why? Because it’s removed from the daily grind of bills, children, stress, and responsibility. You’re seeing only the highlights, not the hard work it actually takes to build a life with someone.

Back home, your relationship may feel heavy, messy, or full of conflict. But often, that’s not because the love is gone — it’s because real intimacy lives where the work is. Real relationships mean showing up when it’s inconvenient, handling the boring parts, and still choosing each other.

So here’s the reality check: before you throw away what you’ve built, stop and ask — is it really greener on the other side, or is it just less work because it isn’t real life yet?

The grass that lasts is the grass you water.
If you’re struggling with betrayal, conflict, or distance in your relationship, you don’t have to go through it alone.

At Chapter House Counselling & Psychology, we have Nicola and Nicky — two senior, highly experienced and registered couples therapists — ready to support you.

They’ll help you and your partner navigate the pain, rebuild trust, and explore whether repair is possible for your relationship.

Reach out today for a confidential consultation and take the first step toward clarity and healing.

18/09/2025

18/09/2025

Breaking Free from the Drama Triangle

Do your family or relationship arguments ever feel like déjà vu — the same fight, the same emotions, the same ending?

That’s often because of the Drama Triangle — a cycle where people unconsciously slip into roles:
• 🎭 The Victim – feeling powerless and hard done by
• 🎭 The Persecutor – criticising, blaming, or controlling
• 🎭 The Rescuer – stepping in to fix, soothe, or save

The trouble is, these roles keep each other alive. The rescuer keeps the victim dependent. The victim gives the persecutor someone to blame. The persecutor gives the rescuer something to fix. Around and around it goes.

The good news? You don’t have to stay in the part you’ve been given. Once you can see the triangle, you can choose to step out of it — and relate in healthier, more balanced ways.

At Chapter House Counselling & Psychology, our team of qualified, registered, and accredited therapists can help you:
✔️ Recognise your patterns
✔️ Set clear boundaries
✔️ Learn healthier ways to communicate
✔️ Heal from toxic cycles

We offer:
• Individual counselling
• Child & adolescent counselling
• Couples counselling
• Specialist EMDR trauma therapy
• CBT for anxiety, depression, and negative patterns

📩 Take the first step today — reach out to us and start creating a new script for your life and relationships.

https://chapterhouse.org.uk/

16/09/2025

16/09/2025

The Loops We Live In

Rumination!

We don’t just ruminate in our minds — we ruminate in our relationships, in our regrets, in the conversations we replay when no one else is there.

Rumination is the mind’s attempt to find safety in repetition. It says: If I go over this one more time, maybe I’ll finally understand. Maybe I’ll stop hurting. But what begins as problem-solving becomes a trap.

📌 Facts about rumination:
• It’s strongly linked with anxiety and depression — people who ruminate are more likely to experience longer, more intense low moods.
• Women, statistically, are more prone to rumination than men — not because they “overthink,” but because culturally, they’ve been taught to internalise pain.
• Rumination is associated with higher stress hormones and even poorer sleep. The mind can’t switch off when it’s caught in the loop.
• It shows up in couples too. One person replays the fight, the silence, the misstep… while the other feels trapped in a conversation that never ends.

💬 From a therapeutic lens: rumination isn’t about the event itself — it’s about the wound beneath it. The unspoken question: Am I safe? Am I enough?

So, how do we step out of the loop?
• By grounding ourselves in the present rather than chasing the past.
• By shifting from analysis to action, even small steps.
• By practicing self-compassion, because the loop is often fuelled by shame.

At Chapter House Counselling and Psychology, we help individuals and couples notice these loops, soothe the wounds beneath them, and find a calmer way forward. Because beneath the storm, there is always a quieter ocean.

https://chapterhouse.org.uk/

11/09/2025

Let me ask you a question…

Do you ever feel needy for wanting reassurance?

That urge often begins in survival. It’s your nervous system searching for safety, trying to confirm you’re okay, loved, or secure.

But reassurance alone doesn’t rewire safety. What makes the difference are the patterns you practice — learning to self-soothe, set boundaries, and prove to yourself that you can cope.

It’s not about shaming the need. It’s about facing where it comes from and building new ways to meet it.

At Chapter House Counselling and Psychology, we work with individuals and couples to uncover these patterns and break the cycle. If this resonates with you, reach out today — the first step is a conversation.

At Chapter House, our therapy centre offers safe and comfortable facilities for clients from West Malling and the wider Kent areas. We also have therapy rooms to rent.