Chapter House Counselling & Psychology

28/11/2025

Catastrophizing as a Psychological Defense Mechanism

Catastrophizing isn’t just “overthinking.”
It’s often the mind’s way of trying to protect you—by preparing for the worst so you don’t feel blindsided.

It can give a brief sense of control, but long-term it fuels anxiety, hypervigilance, and emotional exhaustion.

How to shift it:
• Notice when your mind jumps to the worst-case scenario
• Ask yourself, “What else could be true?”
• Use grounding or breathwork to steady your nervous system before responding

Reflection:
When you catastrophize, what fear or vulnerability is your mind trying to protect you from?

If this resonates with you—or you know someone who struggles with anxiety—you can contact us for a free initial consultation.

https://chapterhouse.org.uk/

15/11/2025

Most people move through life carrying two versions of themselves.

One version is the one the world sees —
the capable one, the busy one, the one who jokes, works, parents, tries, survives.
The version that looks “fine.”

But the other version is the one no one sees…
and that’s the one that tells the real story.

In that hidden version live all the quiet battles:
the overthinking,
the people-pleasing,
the scanning for danger,
the apologising for things that weren’t your fault,
the shutting down when emotions feel too big,
the comparing yourself to everyone else,
the feeling “not enough” even when you’re doing everything you can.

For many, this isn’t personality —
it’s Complex PTSD.
It’s what happens when the nervous system has spent years trying to stay safe.

And here’s the important part:
these patterns aren’t who you are.
They’re who you had to become.

The good news is that the nervous system can heal.

At Chapter House, we have specialists trained in trauma-focused approaches like EMDR — a therapy that helps the brain finally process what it’s been holding onto, so the triggers lose their power and the body can breathe again.

Gemma Cresswell-Nash, our CBT & EMDR therapist, works gently and effectively with adults who are ready to understand their patterns, soften their reactions, and rebuild a sense of calm and confidence.

P.S.
That hidden version of you — the tired one, the overwhelmed one, the one carrying too much — deserves support too.

If any of this feels familiar, we’re here when you’re ready.

15/11/2025

When a child walks into school, they’re carrying two backpacks.
One is visible — filled with notebooks, textbooks, maybe a lunchbox.
But the other is invisible — and that’s the one that really matters.

In that second backpack are all the emotions they bring from home. The little victories from yesterday. Their fears. The weight of expectations they’re trying to meet. Sometimes, it’s packed with a parent’s morning hug and the memory of a smile at the door. Other times, it’s heavy with the echo of an argument before the bus arrived.

Inside are feelings of belonging — or loneliness. Confidence — or worry.
And tucked deep inside are the things they don’t have words for yet, the things they wish someone would notice, just so their backpack could feel a little lighter.

P.S.
That second backpack? You can’t see it.
But if you look closely — you’ll recognize it in their eyes, their silence, or the way they act.

How can you help??

06/11/2025

Counselling at Chapter House Counselling & Psychology

If life feels heavy right now — you’re not alone.

At Chapter House, we offer a calm, confidential space to talk, reflect, and begin to understand what’s really going on beneath the surface.
Whether you’re struggling with anxiety, relationship issues, grief, trauma, or simply feel disconnected from yourself, our team of qualified therapists can help you make sense of it.

We work with individuals, couples, and families — providing both short- and long-term therapy in-person in Farnham or online.
Our approach is warm, evidence-based, and grounded in understanding the person behind the problem.

Sometimes just sitting down and saying “I need to talk” is the hardest step — but it’s also the one that starts the change.

If you’re ready to explore therapy or unsure where to start, get in touch.
We’ll help match you with the right therapist for your needs.

📍 Chapter House Counselling & Psychology

At Chapter House, our therapy centre offers safe and comfortable facilities for clients from West Malling and the wider Kent areas. We also have therapy rooms to rent.

30/10/2025

At Chapter House Counselling & Psychology, we believe therapy should meet you where you are — with compassion, skill, and the right support.

Whether you’re struggling with anxiety, grief, trauma, relationship difficulties, or just trying to find your way back to yourself, our team of trained, registered and accredited therapists are here to help.

We offer:
• Individual therapy for anxiety, depression, grief and self-understanding
• Relationship and couples therapy with specialist relationship therapists
• Trauma therapy including CBT and EMDR with qualified trauma specialists
• Psychosexual therapy for intimacy, desire and connection issues

Open six days a week, 12 hours a day, Chapter House provides flexible, confidential support in a calm and welcoming setting in West Malling.

If you’re ready to start your next chapter we are here when you are !

At Chapter House, our therapy centre offers safe and comfortable facilities for clients from West Malling and the wider Kent areas. We also have therapy rooms to rent.

23/10/2025

Sometimes life just feels too heavy to carry alone.

At Chapter House Counselling & Psychology, we offer a place to pause, talk, and be heard — whether you’re an individual, a couple, or a family trying to find your way through something difficult.

Our therapists are all accredited and highly experienced.
We also offer low-cost counselling with qualified counsellors in the final stages of their accreditation, making therapy more accessible without losing quality or care.

We’re open six days a week, with daytime and evening appointments — in person or online.

If you’ve been thinking about reaching out, this is your sign to start.
Visit:

At Chapter House, our therapy centre offers safe and comfortable facilities for clients from West Malling and the wider Kent areas. We also have therapy rooms to rent.

09/10/2025

The Elastic Band Theory of Relationships

The elastic band theory suggests that healthy relationships move in a rhythm — closeness and distance, connection and space.

When one partner pulls away, it’s not always rejection — sometimes it’s the natural need to breathe, think, or regulate. The “stretch” creates tension, and when handled with care, that space can bring you closer.

But when the pulling away becomes silence, control, or emotional shutdown, the tension stops feeling healthy — it feels unsafe.
That’s when communication breaks down, and connection starts to fray.

Healthy space strengthens love.
Emotional distance breaks it.

If you’re feeling that stretch in your relationship — if the space is growing wider and harder to close — we can help.

At Chapter House Counselling & Psychology, our team of specialist relationship therapists can help you both understand the pattern, rebuild trust, and learn to reconnect safely.

🕊️ Because the goal isn’t to stop stretching — it’s to learn how to bounce back.

📍 West malling

https://chapterhouse.org.uk/

04/10/2025

CHAPTER HOUSE COUNSELLING & PSYCHOLOGY

Specialist support for:
• Anxiety & stress
• Trauma & PTSD
• Relationship issues & couples therapy
• Grief & loss
• Personal growth & emotional wellbeing

Our team includes:
• Specialist CBT therapists
• Accredited EMDR practitioners
• Registered & accredited counsellors and psychotherapists

Why choose us:
• Appointments available six days a week, 12 hours a day
• No waiting list — start therapy without delay
• In-person or online sessions available
• Evidence-based, confidential, and compassionate care
• Specialist therapy rooms designed for your comfort and privacy

⸻

Chapter House Counselling & Psychology
📍 West Malling
💬 Book your free initial consultation today
🌐 https://chapterhouse.org.uk/contact-us/

29/09/2025

Are you looking for a safe, professional space to work through life’s challenges?
At Chapter House, our team of registered and accredited counsellors and psychotherapists are here to support you.

We specialise in:
• Anxiety, stress, and low mood
• Specialist trauma counselling
• CBT & EMDR
• Relationship & couples therapy
• Psychodynamic & integrative approaches

Whether you’re seeking short-term coping strategies or deeper therapeutic work, we’ll match you with the right therapist for your needs.

✨ Your mental health matters. Your story matters. And you don’t have to go through it alone.

📞 Contact us today to book a free initial consultation and take the first step towards change.

At Chapter House, our therapy centre offers safe and comfortable facilities for clients from West Malling and the wider Kent areas. We also have therapy rooms to rent.

20/09/2025

The grass always looks greener on the other side — but that’s usually because you’re not the one mowing it, watering it, or dealing with the weeds.

An affair can feel exciting, light, and effortless. Why? Because it’s removed from the daily grind of bills, children, stress, and responsibility. You’re seeing only the highlights, not the hard work it actually takes to build a life with someone.

Back home, your relationship may feel heavy, messy, or full of conflict. But often, that’s not because the love is gone — it’s because real intimacy lives where the work is. Real relationships mean showing up when it’s inconvenient, handling the boring parts, and still choosing each other.

So here’s the reality check: before you throw away what you’ve built, stop and ask — is it really greener on the other side, or is it just less work because it isn’t real life yet?

The grass that lasts is the grass you water.
If you’re struggling with betrayal, conflict, or distance in your relationship, you don’t have to go through it alone.

At Chapter House Counselling & Psychology, we have Nicola and Nicky — two senior, highly experienced and registered couples therapists — ready to support you.

They’ll help you and your partner navigate the pain, rebuild trust, and explore whether repair is possible for your relationship.

Reach out today for a confidential consultation and take the first step toward clarity and healing.

18/09/2025

18/09/2025

Breaking Free from the Drama Triangle

Do your family or relationship arguments ever feel like déjà vu — the same fight, the same emotions, the same ending?

That’s often because of the Drama Triangle — a cycle where people unconsciously slip into roles:
• 🎭 The Victim – feeling powerless and hard done by
• 🎭 The Persecutor – criticising, blaming, or controlling
• 🎭 The Rescuer – stepping in to fix, soothe, or save

The trouble is, these roles keep each other alive. The rescuer keeps the victim dependent. The victim gives the persecutor someone to blame. The persecutor gives the rescuer something to fix. Around and around it goes.

The good news? You don’t have to stay in the part you’ve been given. Once you can see the triangle, you can choose to step out of it — and relate in healthier, more balanced ways.

At Chapter House Counselling & Psychology, our team of qualified, registered, and accredited therapists can help you:
✔️ Recognise your patterns
✔️ Set clear boundaries
✔️ Learn healthier ways to communicate
✔️ Heal from toxic cycles

We offer:
• Individual counselling
• Child & adolescent counselling
• Couples counselling
• Specialist EMDR trauma therapy
• CBT for anxiety, depression, and negative patterns

📩 Take the first step today — reach out to us and start creating a new script for your life and relationships.

https://chapterhouse.org.uk/