Emma Hayward Osteopath

15/09/2023

Fridays in Margate. 🙌🏼💫

01/09/2023

Back to school Elderberry Gummy Recipe.

These are so quick and easy to make and my kids love them. Elderberry is known to have antiviral properties and gelatin is packed full of amino acids, perfect for growing little bodies.

I shared on my stories earlier and there’s been lots of interest in the recipe, so here it is:

💫 3 tablespoons of gelatine
💫 330ml of pure Elderberry juice
💫 1 big tablespoon of raw honey
💫 optional: I added some liquid zinc too. Sometimes I’ll had a prebiotic fibre like PHGG if I have some to hand.

Method:
Bloom the gelatine first in some juice or water.
Gently heat the juice and add the gelatin. Whisk to combine. Add the honey and any other bits you want to put in. Once combined well, I pour them into my silicone moulds. Put in the fridge until they set and that’s it!

There’s lots of growing evidence that collagen and gelatine are great for connective tissue health, including skin and oral health. I love adding elderberry for the back to school lurgy protection!

You can get 10% off products when you use my code EMMAH10!

07/08/2023

I can highly recommend Roz for some postpartum help/support. She helped me when my second baby was about 4 months old. Just another set of hands and lots of kindness can make all the difference to the rollercoaster that comes with a new baby. It was invaluable.

05/08/2023

Getting this beautiful DM from a mother who’s baby I treated over 6 months ago.

“I honestly feel like I owe you so much! You treated my baby but you were also such a kind listening ear and I really needed that in those early days ❤️”

I love treating babies and children. I really do. They are a marvel. A new born baby is something close to magical. Only just landing in our world after an incredible journey, whether that be vaginal or abdominal birth. Watching them grow is equally incredible. Changing the course of their lives by releasing areas of tension that may impact them now with feeding or later on. It’s precious work.

But holding the mothers in this space is so important and so special. It’s part of my reason for doing the work I do. For every mother who has entrusted me with your child, please know that it was my utter privilege to be with you both in that treatment room.

01/08/2023

It’s World Breastfeeding week. This post from Dr Amy Brown is everything. So many mothers are not supported in their breastfeeding journey and many many mothers stop before they want to because of this failure in support. Sending love to all those finding this week painful. Let’s hope that we can change the story for mothers to come with well funded, skilled support available to all.

It's World Breastfeeding Week again. I’ve shared this post now three years in a row because it do I’m remains sadly relevant.

This week was designed to protect and support breastfeeding. To highlight why we need to invest in mothers, families, babies and the future. Yet for many, this week sends a chill straight through their core. It makes them want to shout and throw things because breastfeeding certainly isn’t something to celebrate for them.

For far too many women, any mention of breastfeeding reminds them of pain, anxiety & a lack of support. It reminds them of their determination to do what had been promised as simple, enjoyable and the ‘right’ way to feed their baby. Determination which slowly turned to desperation when it didn’t work for them.

It reminds mothers of the heartbreak they felt as they stopped breastfeeding before they were ready – it wasn’t just about the promised health benefits but the feeling that their body wasn’t doing what it was meant to do, and the fact they just really wanted to do it.

But this pain is actually the reason we continue. This week is not about telling everyone they should breastfeed... but more about insisting that those with power step up and actually do something about investing in making a better future for the next generation of women.

At the moment, rather than protecting breastfeeding, the government doesn’t invest properly in the services, support & expertise that would actually enable breastfeeding – despite reports finding it could save the NHS money.

Instead, cuts to services take away volunteer groups and funding of breastfeeding specialists. What should be an easily fixable issue can turn turned into months of physical pain - and a lifetime of continued emotional pain.

The simple truth is that we set women up to fail. Most breastfeeding problems are created by a society that is not breastfeeding friendly: the actions of others are responsible for poor breastfeeding rates & trauma.

This week is about recognising that hurt and calling for change. I wish we didn't have to have it. I certainly wish that not so many women and families were hurt by it.

03/05/2023

If you have a perfectionist child, or one who gets distressed making mistakes- this is for you.

Some of our Neurodivergent kids expect 100% success in everything they do.

Spelling test? They expect 20/20.
Board game? They expect to win.
Lofty project or invention? They expect it to be as perfect as the image they have in their head.
Goal keeper? They expect to save every goal.
Learning a new skill? They expect to be brilliant at it immediately.

When it doesn’t happen, these kids are absolutely crushed.
It’s very hard to watch, and parents worry that their kid’s intense fear of making mistakes may keep them from trying things or reaching their potential.

Here’s what you can do.

1. Stop telling your Autistic kids to ‘do their best’. We can be pretty literal, and we might take that encouragement as a specific instruction- you want us to do the best that we’ve ever done. As in, the outcome needs to be the best that it’s ever been. That tells us that you’re expecting something really, really good.

Try saying ‘I know you’ll try hard’ instead of ‘do your best’. This wording is encouraging effort rather than setting an expectation for an amazing outcome. It also communicates to your kid that you know they always put in big effort (regardless of the outcome).

2. Before a task/activity, ask your kid what they’re expecting from themselves. If they say ‘I’m expecting 20/20 in the test’ you then have a conversation about that expectation. It goes like this:

‘Hmm. I’m not expecting you to get 20/20. These are hard words you’re learning. I would expect you to get between 14 and 17 right. That would be a good score on this test. I would be really happy with that result. So would your teacher.’

My son then asked ‘well, what if I do get 20?’, to which I replied ‘then you should be really happy that you exceeded our expectations.’ After that he did the test and got 19/20. Usually that one error would send him into meltdown, but instead he celebrated the fact that he had exceeded our expectations by two points.

We do this same recalibration and preparation before many tasks.

Board games: how many of us are playing, how many can win, what is the probability that the winner will be you (my kid is brilliant at maths), what is the probability that you’ll actually lose, what’s the plan for if you lose and have some big feelings? (Outline regulation strategies)

Goal keeping: what percentage of goals do professional goalies save, are you a professional, has your team trained much, is the other team really strong, are we missing players, what are the possible outcomes for this game, what’s the plan if you let a goal in, what’s the plan if your team loses?

3. Let your kids see you make mistakes. Point it out, verbalise your feelings about the mistake, show them how you cope with it.

I have done these things with my kid for a few years. He is nearly 9.

He is now able to make mistakes without it crushing him. I regularly see him laugh off a loss in a game. He doesn’t walk off the soccer field anymore when he lets in a goal (or 10). He doesn’t shut down. He tells his brother ‘someone has to lose, you know’ and is often ok when it’s him.

Note: when he is low capacity, the skill of coping with losing is absolutely not as accessible to him. In those times we co-regulate.

Anyway. Try expectation recalibration and let me know how it goes.

Em ☺️🌈✌️
AuDHD SLP

16/04/2023

Anyone with neurodiverse children struggling to ‘meet expectations’ at school? I love this so much.

Why isn't my neurodivergent child meeting my expectations?
Start at the white and find out.

Em 😊🌈✌
...................

Image description: Pink background with white cloud that reads 'Child doesn't meet expectation.'

Arrow points to the question, 'Was someone expecting neurotypical skills/behaviour?'

Arrows point to two options, yes or no.

If yes, then 'Unreasonable expectation. Learn from ND (neurodivergent voices).

If no, then 'Has your kid been in a busy or overwhelming place?'

Arrow point to two different options, yes or no.

If yes, then 'They're probably dysregulated.' How to help? 'Meet sensory needs, remove demands, connect, comfort, don't criticise.' 'Help them learn about unmasking.'

If no, 'Is it late in the day?'

If yes, follow the 'They're probably dysregulated' path.

If the answer is 'no,' then ask 'Is your kid out of spoons?'

If the answer is 'probably', then 'meet sensory needs, remove demands, etc.'

If the answer is 'unsure,' then ask 'Have they been masking all day/week?'

If the answer is 'yes, then 'teach them about unmasking'

If the answer is 'unsure' then ask 'Was the expectation reasonable for how old they are?'

If the answer is 'maybe not', then 'recalibrate your expectations'.

If the answer is 'yes,' then ask 'Do they have all of the skills needed to meet the expectation?'

If the answer is 'maybe not', then 'Modify expectation, give support, teach, model, connect - don't criticise.'

If the answer is 'they've done it before', then remember that 'Autism is a dynamic disability - skills fluctuate day to day'.

Arrow leads to a bubble that reads, 'Kids do well if they can. Sometimes kids can't meet expectations despite trying their best.'

Arrow leads to a yellow box that reads, 'Meet them with empathy, patience, love. Provide support. Model the behaviour. Accommodations to prevent dysregulation. Connect, don't criticise. No behaviour training.'

NeuroWild logo is in the lower right corner.

06/04/2023

This course looks incredible. I’ll definitely be doing it and would encourage anyone working with or have family members who are autistic.

Reframing Autism is pleased to introduce Autism Essentials - our free, self-paced online course that provides a neuro-affirming understanding of Autism.

Check it out here: https://reframing-autism-s-school.teachable.com/p/autism-essentials

This course is designed for a wide variety of lived experiences as well as different levels of pre-existing knowledge about Autism - from those that are totally new to the topic to those that have formal education in Autism.

Whether you are Autistic, formally diagnosed, self-identified or think you might be Autistic, a family member or loved one of an Autistic person, a researcher, teacher, other professional, or ally, we hope you learn something new or deepen and extend your existing knowledge of Autism and the Autistic community.

The course focuses on five main areas:
• Language
• What Is Autism?
• Brain Differences
• Communication and Socialising
• Thinking and Processing

All learners access the same base information in the course, but each topic has multiple worksheets available for different levels of knowledge about Autism. You can choose to complete the level that best fits your knowledge to customise your learning in a way that works for you.

Image description: The Reframing Autism logo is on a dusty rose background with the text: Reframing Autism is excited to present our free online self-paced course Autism Essentials, followed by https://reframing-autism-s-school.teachable.com/p/autism-essentials

01/04/2023

It doesn’t make sense to me to keep kids in at break time due to unfinished work. Kids do well if they can! The kids who aren’t meeting ‘expectations’ need that break time more than ever!

One of my most hated things is kids being held in at breaks because they didn’t meet expectations.

Kids do well if they can - Dr Ross Greene.

If they didn’t meet expectations, there is usually a reason.
And it’s unlikely to be ‘they made a conscious and reasoned choice to not comply’.

Taking their essential regulation break away will only result in more expectations not being met, as well as reinforcing a pretty negative view of school, learning, and probably themself.

Let’s not do that, yeah?

The answer is more breaks, flexible expectations, and empathetic adults.

This is part of my free download on TPT about executive function and regulation. Get it here:
https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/Regulation-and-Executive-Function-Handout-7-page-coloured-document-8840560

Em 🌈🌻✌️
AuDHD SLP

15/01/2023

This is an excellent article on why most people misunderstand the language around autism and the saying of it being a spectrum.

https://neuroclastic.com/its-a-spectrum-doesnt-mean-what-you-think/?fbclid=IwAR0du8EDcsZF1yAqErgR6fsMTGL8-KYUMHOadFZOqwJVCfxA6LaHtJ8alQI

What you believe the “autism spectrum” means is not what it actually means. It’s more like…