Penny Dennis - Time2talk

23/04/2026

This gets discussed quite frequently in the therapy room.

"I don't want to stop being kind and doing things for others because that's who I am."

And I answer "Then don't. Do it for you, because it's who you are and do it without expectation."

There's a difference between being a genuinely kind and considerate person and a people pleaser.

When we learn to put boundaries in place and let go of expectation, we can carry on as our authentic selves and just enjoy being that loving, giving person regardless.

With boundaries in place, we know when it's a genuine act of kindness and not something we do to appease others or to receive personal strokes.

22/04/2026

22/04/2026

22/04/2026

Also very relevant in platonic relationships .

Emotional safety is one of the most fragile and most important things in a relationship. It's what allows your partner to be honest with you, vulnerable with you, fully themselves around you. And it doesn't take a catastrophic betrayal to damage it. It can be eroded by smaller things, repeated often enough.

Using something shared in confidence as ammunition during a fight. Making them feel stupid for being vulnerable. Threatening to leave every time a conversation gets uncomfortable. Punishing them with silence when they express a need.

Each of these tells your partner the same thing: it's not safe to be real with you here.
Emotional safety takes years to build and seconds to destroy. Protect it.

22/04/2026

Susan David certainly talks sense in this post AND remember, ‘letting go’ that supports and sustains takes self compassion and time .

For many people, the familiar and comforting identity that hooks them, especially in times of stress, is a holdover from way, way back.

Let go of narratives that no longer serve you.

20/04/2026

Remember: just because our reactivity to a trigger is rooted in past trauma, doesn't mean our reaction is wholly inappropriate or that we don't get to set boundaries with a person or situation now.

Trauma responses don't make our current feelings or needs illegitimate.

20/04/2026

Emotional maturity doesn't always announce itself loudly. Sometimes it shows up most clearly in the things someone doesn't do. They don't weaponize silence when they're upset. They don't dig up old mistakes to win a current argument. They don't make you guess what's wrong when they could just tell you.

These things might sound like a low bar, but if you've been in relationships where they weren't present, you know how much they actually matter. The absence of punishment, manipulation, and mind games creates a kind of safety that's hard to describe until you've experienced it.

Emotional maturity is really just someone who has done enough work on themselves that they don't need to make your relationship the place where their unprocessed emotions get worked out.
They don't expect you to read their mind. They just tell you. What a relief that is.

20/04/2026

How well is our profession serving those at highest risk of su***de?

In this month's Therapy Today - The big issue, writer Sam Delaney looks at the relationship between therapy and midlife working-class men, who remain the group most vulnerable to su***de.

Read more here 👉 https://orlo.uk/AC7qY

19/04/2026

Donna Ashworth poem Definately resonates with me today so I’ve heeded her words….can you relate?

I popped this one in today’s Sunday soul mail and thought it needed to be shared here too.

Love to you all 💛

19/04/2026

Love this one ❤️

Here's the most efficient thing you can do with your life...

19/04/2026

It’s your life so live it your best way

It’s your journey nobody else’s but yours

Keep going you’ve got this 👍

19/04/2026