RedChair

12/11/2025

Talking Together When Addiction Is in the Room

When someone you love is caught up in drink or drugs, conversations can quickly turn into arguments, silence, or worry. Yet small changes in how we talk can make a big difference — for them and for you.
Here are some simple steps that can help your family start to steady the ground again.
1. Start with calm, not chaos
Before you speak, take a breath. Ask yourself, what state am I in? If you’re angry, scared, or tired, wait. A calmer voice reaches further than a raised one ever will. You can’t pour calm into chaos.
2. Notice what’s still good
Addiction can take over, but it doesn’t erase the person underneath. Look for moments when they’re kind, helpful, or sober — and name them. A simple “I really appreciate that” can open a door that shouting keeps closed.
3. Speak from your heart, not from blame
Talk about what you see and how you feel.
“When you don’t come home, I feel scared.”

“I’ve noticed you’re drinking more lately and I’m worried.”
Avoid “you always” or “you never”. Keep it short, kind, and real. The aim isn’t to win an argument; it’s to keep the bridge standing.

4. Invite, don’t insist
You can’t force someone to get help — but you can show them the door. Try gentle invitations:
“Would you be open to talking about some support?”

“When you’re ready, I’ll help you find somewhere to start.”
It plants a seed, even if they’re not ready yet.

5. Protect your own peace
You’re allowed boundaries.
“I can’t give you money if you’ve been drinking.”

“If you don’t come home, I’ll need to get some help.”
Boundaries aren’t punishments — they’re ways of keeping love alive without being dragged under.

And remember: your wellbeing matters too. Get your own support, talk to someone who understands, and take time to breathe.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone.
I’m Bill Stevens — addictions interventionist, therapist, and coach — helping families and individuals find freedom from addiction and freedom to live again.
🔴 Red Chair Therapy & Counselling
📍 23 Hawthorn Street, Wilmslow, Cheshire, SK9 5EH
📞 07894 80286
📧 bill@redchair.co.uk
🌐 www.redchair.co.uk
A different conversation can start today.

25/10/2025

21/09/2025

What's your sober purpose?. We meet on a Tuesday to enjoy exploring the aspirations, dreams and opportunities for realising personal purpose. Creatives, business,....email hello@primepurpose.group

18/09/2025

The Restless Mind That Won’t Let a Decision Settle

I was sitting with someone the other day, {ME and my MIND} and they described their mind like a plate of spaghetti — tangled, looping back on itself, never quite landing.

Every time they tried to make a decision — something as small as choosing a font, or as big as starting the first sentence of a piece of writing — the mind jumped in: “Not that one. Maybe this one. No, go back. You’ll regret that choice.”

It wasn’t laziness. It wasn’t even really procrastination. It was this restless sense of never enough. A decision never felt finished, so the task never felt possible. What followed was frustration, self-criticism, and finally… walking away.

I imagine a lot of us know that feeling.

Here’s the thing: that itch for “just right” will probably always be there. The trick isn’t to silence it or get rid of it — because if that worked, we’d all be done by now. The trick is learning how to carry it differently.

One small shift is this: instead of asking, “Is this the perfect choice?”, ask, “Does this move me in the direction I care about?” If your value is creating, sharing, or connecting, then sometimes “good enough” is already serving that value.

And when the mind demands you fix or fiddle forever, you can try this:

Pick one option.

Set a timer (five minutes, ten minutes).

Say gently to yourself: “I’m choosing momentum over perfection.”

And let the itch of dissatisfaction ride along without steering the wheel.

It won’t feel comfortable. But it might feel freeing.

Sometimes the greatest act of self-care is letting “unfinished” or “imperfect” still be enough to move forward.

15/09/2025

The Man with the Compass and the Vane. By Bill Stevens
Www. PrimePurpose.group

A man set out each morning, holding a curious device: a compass with a weather vane fixed above it.

The weather vane spun constantly. Winds shifted, storms rose, breezes calmed. It turned East, West, South, North — always moving. The vane was an honest reflection of his inner weather systems: thoughts, feelings, sensations. Ever changing, never still.

Beneath it lay the compass. Unlike the vane, it did not spin with the weather. Its needle pointed North, steady, constant. The compass was his chosen perspective — his values, his direction, his truth — no matter the storms above.

And then there were his feet. The vane reflected, the compass pointed, but only his feet could move. The feet carried choice. Each step could take him East into the light of his values, West into the shadow of his vices, South into consequences, or North towards the star that guided him.

The man could not command the weather, nor still the vane. But each day, with compass in hand and feet upon the ground, he chose his path and walked into life as it came.

12/09/2025

HALT.
Hungry. Angry. Lonely. Tired.
Or —
Honesty. Acceptance. Love. Trust.

I don’t see the world the way it is.
I see the world the way I am.

That’s the pivot.
Pause. Notice. Choose.