The Nurturing Doula

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The Nurturing Doula

Supporting you and your family prenatally, postnatally and beyond. Providing the support that you need.

03/12/2025

Tell me a story about… a snowflake that didn’t want to be cold. It can be anything that is usually cold, can be replaced with anything.
Kids continue the story.

For mums:
The Slow Exhale
Sit somewhere comfortable, drop your shoulders and take a long, slow exhale.
Do it three times.
Feel the shift.
Sometimes the smallest reset creates the biggest release.

The last few bits are being done and is a little bit delayed. Hopefully by tomorrow because mums need the same level of care and not an after thought.

02/12/2025

Today’s play setup takes 10 seconds.

For the mums too, see the last slide, self care for you too. Might be able to do this whilst little hands are busy

01/12/2025

Start the month with a tiny dose of nervous-system magic.

A full-body hug for 60 seconds to co-regulate.

For the mums:
Wrap yourself in a soft blanket and sip a warm spiced drink while listening to your favourite music.

Ready to unwrap a little joy each day this December?Grab your full 24-day mum Advent Calendar and treat yourself to moments of calm, self-love and delight. On day 3.

26/11/2025

Real empowerment comes from repair, not perfection.

advocates the repair. Apologising and what could have been done differently, name and expressing how you are feeling to the child. It teaches the child a whole host of things, how to deal with difficult emotions, resilience, how to overcome struggles.

Getting things wrong isn’t harmful when repair happens and it teaches children how to handle mistakes, take accountability and rectify things.

Research by Dr. Ed Tronick and Dr. Allan Schore showing rupture/repair cycles actually strengthen attachment and resilience.

25/11/2025

Your baby gives you subtle clues as to what they are trying to communicating, you may already know them and seen them.

Even the quietest behaviours are communication. Like the natural world, babies show us what they need long before they have the words. When we learn to read these cues, we become the safe place their nervous system grows from.

1. Turning away
This isn’t avoidance, it’s regulation. Like when flowers turn slightly from harsh midday sun to protect their petals, children turn their gaze when stimulation becomes too much.
Your response: Soften your energy, pause the interaction and give them a moment to breathe. This tells their brain: ‘You’re safe to take the space you need.’

2. Hand to mouth
Sucking fingers, chewing sleeves or bringing hands to the mouth mimics early soothing reflexes. In nature, young animals use repetitive, rhythmic movements to calm their bodies after stress. It can also be a cue that they need a feed and are getting hungry.
Your response: Slow your pace, keep your tone warm, and stay nearby. Your steadiness becomes the external regulation they are seeking. Perhaps offering a feed.

3. In comments

Why this matters for secure attachment
When you consistently respond to these cues, not perfectly, with presence you become like the steady landscape in their life. A safe tree to return to. A predictable riverbank they can explore from. Your sensitivity teaches their body:
‘The world is safe, I am seen, and my needs won’t overwhelm the people I love.’

This is how secure attachment grows: through small moments, attuned responses and a rhythm that mirrors the natural world: repair, rest, return.

24/11/2025

We talk about children’s behaviour, needs, routines, milestones but we rarely talk about the thing that shapes it all:

The mother’s wellbeing.

Not because mothers ‘should’ do more
but because you are the emotional environment your child grows within.

Your nervous system.
Your stress levels.
Your ability to breathe, pause, regulate, rest, be supported, be held.

These aren’t luxuries.
They’re foundations.

➡️ Research is clear:
Mothers who feel supported; emotionally, socially, practically, have children who show better emotional regulation, stronger attachment and more stability (Feldman, 2012).

➡️ Winnicott reminded us decades ago that it’s not perfection a baby needs, it’s a ‘good enough’ mother, surrounded by support, not stretched to breaking point.

➡️ Polyvagal theory shows that a regulated caregiver is a biological anchor for a child’s sense of safety.

So no your wellbeing is not ‘extra’
It’s not selfish.
It’s not optional.

It’s the environment.
And when the mother is supported, the whole family system breathes easier.

21/11/2025

Try this: 5 minutes to yourself with a cup of tea, noticing the season outside. Polyvagal research shows even small restorative pauses regulate the nervous system, helping you feel calmer and more present. Tiny rituals matter and our upcoming workshops will show more ways to build them.

20/11/2025

You are enough today.

Self compassion studies shows that sell kindness reduces anxiety and improves maternal confidence (Neff, 2003).

Perfection is a myth. Every choice you make as a mother is part of your unique path and that path is enough.

19/11/2025

It takes a village to raise a child. It’s a known saying that gets said, there is evidence around this statement. There’s little about how to get this village, this community, this network. We know the benefits of it but where do you start?

Peer support improves maternal coping and reduces stress (Leach et al, 2016)

This village, where do you start? Start small. Start with having peer support that you can utilise, groups that you can go to. Start to widen your circle, join things that are a similar interest and values to you. One will turn into more, before you know it you have a village helping one another.

Peer support is evidence based, mothers who share stories and receive community support cope better with stress and isolation

18/11/2025

Your child communicates constantly; gestures, expressions, sounds. Responding sensitively supports secure attachment and long-term emotional development. You don’t have to figure it out alone, research shows support and guidance make a difference (Ainsworth, 1979).

17/11/2025

Your roots matter. Start the week grounded.

Motherhood can feel overwhelming. Research shows that even brief grounding exercises; like noticing your breath or feeling your feet on the floor can reduce stress and improve emotional regulation (Kabat-Zinn, 2003). Today, pause. Your wellbeing is the foundation of your family.

03/09/2025

Motherhood was never meant to be done alone. Children grew up within a community, grandparents, aunts, uncles, neighbours, friends all played a part in the upbringing of a child.

Societal views played a part in how children were brought up, differing demands, cultural ideals, along with other aspects changed the landscape of motherhood and their village.

The village is still, as ever, important now as it was then. Motherhood was never meant to be done alone. It takes a village to raise a child.

Address

Wimborne Minster
Wimborne Minster
BH21

Website

http://www.thenurturingdoula.co.uk/

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