23/01/2024
Day 22 of RED January ✅
Yesterday, like a few days lately I’ve only done a small walk. My legs are in tatters from the bigger walks and runs I’ve been trying to do this month (which is not a surprise and something I was fully expecting) but it’s just taking a little longer to recover than I expected. I thought If I did 2/3 days of shorter walks in between then I’d be able to really push at 5/10km’s again but that’s not been the case. The pains I’ve been getting through my knees is excruciating when I start trying to run, but that’s just from all the abnormal impact they’ve been receiving. 140kg has been bouncing down on them and they’re not used too me doing this much exercise! But, I’ve been starting to make up for the lack of effort on my smaller walks by putting it in through boxing to make sure I’m getting a good sweat on still. (Now my upper half is shot 🤣)
But, we are approaching the final week now. 8 more days of January, and at some point in the next 9 runs/walks I want to give at least one more real big push, even if it means pushing through the pain!
I know it’s not over yet, but today I just wanted to share something that RED January has taught me.
RED January has taught me that every victory, no matter how small, is still a victory. In the past I’d use feeling tired and sore as an excuse to rest and then I’d feel s**t about it. I’d feel like I’ve lost, and then I’d think ah I might as well eat and drink what I want tonight then and use that day as my day to have a few pints or whatever. But this month, 23 days in, I’ve won 23 times. I am completely sober, I have done some form of exercise every single day. At times I’ve pushed my self to my absolute limits and the hours and miles logged completely reflect that. But the little wins where I’ve felt absolutely shagged and still got up to do 1.5km and not had a pint have been equally as big of a win as the days I’ve done 10km.
This month I have made myself proud. I have also made myself realise that I’m not just a fat slobby mess that I continually joke to myself about. I do still have fire in my belly and I have a potential that I’ve not reached yet. I’ve awoken a beast inside myself that wants to be fitter, better and stronger than I have ever been and I’ve not felt this way for as long as I can remember, and it’s fu***ng great. It’s made me realise that not only do I want to see out RED January, I want to make it more of a lifestyle.
As someone with ADHD it’s important to always have a goal and something to focus on and stay busy. These little challenges I set myself every day (staying sober and completing and logging an exercise) is a way of keeping in competition with myself and pushing to become better whilst making it fun.
Am I saying I’ll never drink again? No, absolutely not. I enjoy a pint with the lads, I like a few watching the football or if we’ve had a celebration planned. There will be life events where I have a few, stag do’s, weddings, birthdays, I have a golf holiday booked with the lads in August where I will let my hair down, Christmas time I will enjoy a drink. There will be times I just go to my local when I’ve got a little bit of free time because I enjoy a couple of nice pints, or in the summer after 18 holes! But, I will make sure that everything else I’m doing in between earns them and that it’s me choosing to have a beer, not the other way round.
What I want to eliminate is the pointless pints just because there’s nothing better to do, the binging when I’m dealing with the demons I have in my head that effectively for days after just make me worse. All the bad self destructive habits I’ve created over the last 6 years all revolve around being weak and giving in to a drink and some s**te food because it’s an easy quick fix to cover up a hole.
Drinking just leads to more bad habits and more problems. It’s a legal devil, unless you are the one in control!
The society we live in normalises drinking at every hurdle life places for you.
Had a bad day at work? Go for a pint.
Had some bad news within the family? Pint.
Lost a loved one? Let’s all go get leathered.
Not quite feeling yourself today? Few pints.
This is where it becomes a problem, I speak on a personal basis when I say this. Because it’s not just one pint. It’s 8 pints, followed by a takeaway, which in the morning makes you feel worse. Then by the time you’ve come around to feeling slightly yourself again at tea time or when you’ve just finished work, you still feel a bit groggy and before you know it you’re doing the same again. If you have an addictive personality you become addicted to the quick fix that alcohol and other comforts blankets can create. Gambling, drugs, fast food, they’re all the same. Quick easy ways of getting a dopamine hit to cover a hole.
But the truth?
There is no quick fix for feeling low. There is no quick fix for life throwing curve balls at you. Life is hard man, and you’ve got to find a way to be harder than the obstacles in front of you so you can shrug it off.
It is your absolute responsibility to strengthen your body and sharpen your mind to deal with the s**t we face daily so it just becomes another one of life’s challenges that you can consider a victory when you overcome it.
Life is tough at the the best of times, and the way our country is being ran and the way society is heading life is only going to get tougher for you and the people you love around you. Only you can prepare yourself and your family for the rocky roads ahead.
Had a bad day at work? Go punch a bag for an hour and get in bed knowing that despite how bad your day was you still got s**t done.
Had some bad news within the family? Deal with the news appropriately, then lead by example to the rest of the family on how you’re going to sort it. Tackle the problem. Go out for a walk for an hour and clear your head with an audiobook or some music and feel proud of how you’ve dealt with the situation. Go to bed that night knowing that in the face of adversity you still got s**t done.
Lost a loved one? Certainly don’t do what I did and bury yourself for the last 5/6 years and not face the mountain you have in front of you every single day.
The mountain is always going to be there. You don’t have to be able to see the top of the mountain, you just have to be able to see your feet going one in front of the other. Grief is a terrible thing, but the truth is it is going to affect us all at some point in life. But we have to learn to deal with it the right way.
Do you think your best friends, parents, loved ones would want us to deal with their loss by destroying ourselves? Absolutely not. I know I wouldn’t want people too if it was me. They would want us to bathe in the wonderful memories we shared with them. Soak ourselves in the laughter we had that will eternally echo in our soul. Resonate with the sound of their voices when we’re having a bad day and learn how to smile in the face of adversity because we know we always have them on our shoulders.
I personally have spent what feels like a lifetime doing the polar opposite of the things I’m saying after losing my best mate. I truly never got over losing Alan the way we did, dealing with the aftermath of it all broke me as a person and now I’m not afraid to admit that.
I’ll become a stronger person now I’m finally healing. I lost my Grandad who I miss dearly not too long after who I wish I could still go around and put the world to rights with, and just recently I lost my gorgeous Little Nan, and it broke my heart to see her fade the way she did over the last few years. I miss her like mad, she was devoted to all of us grandchildren and it pains me to think when I eventually have kids they’ll never get to experience a sleepover at little Nan’s.
But… that’s life. I know that’s blunt, I know it sounds harsh but life stops for no one, you have got to keep moving forwards. I’ve been the worlds worst at burying my head and it gets you no where. Feeling like the world is against you and that everything seems to be going wrong to you and no one else. Well, that’s not true. In life you’re dealt a hand, and it’s up to you how you play it. Start thinking positive and doing positive things, manifest a positive future and somehow it will find its way to you.
Take every little ounce of grief and pain and use it as fuel to be a better you. Raise a glass when necessary, but know that for every pint you drink you’ve got to work that one multiple harder the next day. If you don’t think you’re mentally resilient enough to stop when you need too? Then don’t start drinking at all.
This goes for everything, we have grew up in a society where alcoholism and drugs is a completely normal weekend and even mid week practice, and the day people realise that there is so much more to life our world be a better place. There are other ways of chasing that high without destroying yourself.
Climb a mountain. Get yourself fit and do a boxing match and feel the adrenaline surge through your veins the first time you walk to the ring hearing your friends shouting your name. Sign up to an endurance event and push yourself to your absolute limits and feel the sense of achievement when you cross that finishing line.
There will be a ton of people reading this thinking what on earth is he ranting on for, but for the ones who can relate to what I’m saying and are still reading up to this point, get up and get out. I promise you, there is no better time than now other than yesterday to get started. You will not look back. Just over three weeks in and I feel like a completely different person. I feel like I’m getting back in touch with all the little things that make who I am, that I lost along the way a long time ago. You trade pieces of your soul along the slippy slope for other comforts and eventually lose sight of your morals and all the things you once stood for, and picking them back up and finding yourself again and rediscovering what’s really important in life seems so much more beautiful the second time round. The views from the top of the mountain always look so much better when you’ve had a tougher climb from the bottom.
You honestly you wouldn’t believe the amount of people that have reached out to me and Matty Webbo since starting this page that are struggling to go about their day to day life, people who we grew up with that are all facing the same problems. It’s sad, and there isn’t anywhere near enough being done about it. We’re all suffering in silence amongst one another and acting as if it’s okay when it isn’t. So if we can motivate just one person to be a better version of themselves and help them feel better then it’s worth it. If we can get one person to stop being self destructive then it’s worth it. If we can stop one person going down that slope then I’ll do my absolute fu***ng best to make sure I can hold out a rope and pull as many back up as I can, because some people can’t make it back up on their own and at 31 years old I’ve lost more than enough people. If I can help make a difference I will, I’ve made a lot of wrongs but I’ll continue to make as many rights as I can.
We’re starting a movement here, locally in our little town to get all those troubled souls together to conquer anything they want to put their mind too. We want as many people to get on board as we can. Get out with us for runs and walks, jump on the events we have planned for the year. We’re all in this together, but we’re not letting any more brothers or sisters fall victim to that lonely dark place if we can help it. Not on our watch.
I would say I’m sorry for the essay for those who don’t relate to this, but I’m not sorry one fu***ng bit.
This is real, this is true, this is from the heart and it’s the s**t people don’t want to talk about that’s really happening and affecting far too many around us daily.
But we stand together, and together we’ve got this.
💚
