02/11/2025
💭 Some honest thoughts today...
Life feels really heavy at the moment. Bel’s operation went to plan, but there have been more complications since. Which means more vet bills, more worry, and more uncertainty. It’s all spiralling into money I never really had to begin with, and it’s starting to affect work too, since I can't get out to teach, and in my day job of marketing, where I'm expected to be full of ideas and on it, I just don't feel like I'm doing my best.
We’re both stuck at home. She’s frustrated because she wants to be her usual happy, bouncy self, and I’m trying to hold it all together.
It’s made me think about how the wellness world often jumps to fix things. A retreat, a yoga class, a sound bath — all lovely, but sometimes they’re treated like sticking plasters for life’s deeper stuff.
And when they don’t “work,” people start to lose faith in the very things meant to support us through the hard times, not to magically make them disappear.
Right now, I’m not doing anything fancy to feel better. I did try to go on a retreat, but ended up coming home the next day because of a Bel emergency. Still, that 24 hours of different conversation and a change of scenery really helped — it provided just enough space to step back from my own thoughts for a bit.
Since then, I’ve been trying to sit with it all. Let the uncertainty be what it is. Make a cup of tea. Take Bel into the garden and breathe in some fresh air. Nothing special, just small, steady moments that help me come back to myself with lots of rolling tears.
I don’t have any answers. Just a reminder to myself and maybe to you, too, that slowing down isn’t about fixing everything. It’s about being with what’s here, even when it’s messy and hard.
